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TOO INDEPENDENT???????
October 23, 2001
1:36 pm
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COCOA32
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IAM A SINGLE MOTHER WHO BASICALLY IS VERY AMBITIOUS. I WAS DATING THIS GUY THAT WAS 29 I WAS 31 AT THE TIME,ANYWAY I WAS IN SCHOOL TRYING TO COMPLETE MY MASTERS.AT THE TIME MY DAUGHTER WAS 4-5 YRS OLD. I HAD MY OWN PLACE A GOOD JOB AND HOLDING MY OWN. I NEVER ASKED HIM FOR ANYTHING. I NEVER WANTED HIM OR ANY MAN FOR THAT MATTER TO THINK I WAS A GOLD DIGGER. ANYWAY HE WAS OUT OF WORK FOR A WHILE DUE TO AN ACCIDENT AT HIS JOB. I WAS THERE FOR HIM WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL EVEN A LITTLE AFTERWARDS. I WAS NEAR COMPLETION OF MY STUDIES AND I MISSED A FEW CLASS JUST TO MAKE SURE HE MADE IT HOME. HE ALWAYS CALLED AND SAID HE FEELS SOMETHING IS WRONG... I GUESS BECAUSE I WAS CONSUMED WITH MY STUDIES AND NOT HAVING TIME TO VISIT HIM MORE. I FELT HE WAS REALLY SEARCHING FOR A PROBLEM THAT WASN'T THERE. I TRIED ON NUMEROUS OCCASSIONS TO CONVINCE HIM/REASURE HIM THAT EVERY THINHG WAS OK. ANYWAY, TWO-THREE MONTHS HAVE PASSED AND I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE AND I MADE THE FIRST MOVE. COME TO FIND OUT HE HAD MOVED IN WITH SOME-ONE AND NOW IS MARRIED. BEFORE HAND HE WANTED TO MOVE IN WITH ME. WHICH I FELT WAS NOT THE TIME ESPECIALLY WITH A YOING DAUGHTER AND WE WEREN'T EVEN MARRIED. HE WANTED TO HAVE A BABY. WHICH I FELT WASN'T THE RIGHT TIME EITHER. I WAS RAISED IN A SPIRITUAL FAMILY. I WANTED TO BE MARRIED BEFORE ALL THESES REQUEST WOULD TAKE PLACE. I WAS IN AGREEMENT TO MARRYING HIM AND HE I THOUGHT HE FELT THE SAME. MY QUESTION IS WAS I TOO INDEPENDENT? OR WAS I SELFISH? IT BOTHERS ME SOMETIMES BUT I KNOW I MUST MOVE ON. PLEASE SEND ADVICE.

October 23, 2001
8:58 pm
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pg lova
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Cocoa,

No you weren't too dependent, you were just there for him like you would want someone there for you. DOn't be hard on yourself. I'm going through the same thing sort of so you're not alone, just give itto God today.

October 23, 2001
9:00 pm
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counslr336
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If it helps any, I think you handled it very well. good luck in the future to you and your daughter

October 25, 2001
11:34 am
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artist
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Sounds like the guy was insecure and needed someone--anyone. Yes, you were too independent--for him--but don't beat yourself up about it--you have to do what is right for you and your daughter and strength of character is a necessity in this world. You'll find someone who is as strong as you are--have faith.

October 25, 2001
1:20 pm
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Molly
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I was wondering if a woman to day could be to independent? You sound like a really healthy person, boundries, and focused. So, lucky you most likely missed out on a real sick relationship because of it. pat your self on the back, your daughter is a lucky kid to have you for a mom.

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