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To: onedaythiswillpass Happy Mothers Day!
May 20, 2013
8:34 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Flu boy,

writing this fellow a letter will change nothing, nada.  I can only carry on & help myself.  To this day, I am unclear as to what him & I are, and in a general sense no matter how deep my love may be for him, I doubt he feels such as I do.  By now, ( 8 years) if he cannot figure out that we belong somehow together, then I gotta let go.  I actually think he hates me to be honest.  I am not certain if he hates himself more, but that does not matter.  He carries on with his life & meets old & new girls.  I just wait and yearn for him which is silly, but I am not interested in starting again with anyone in a romantic notion. He is young, I am not.  I have seen enough of this love thing to know it's a losing game.

 

If your girl that you love cannot even show up, then perhaps it's a sign.  I sure hope you did not hurt her in the past & expect her to trust you again.

 

One Day

May 20, 2013
10:21 am
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Flu boy, I got off the phone  with him not a half hour ago & he told me never to call him again.  So, I wish you luck in your romantic adventures.  I am still painting.

 

One Day

May 20, 2013
5:01 pm
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Flu boy,

I finished painting.  The Tulips are done for another year.  It's a new lunar year today & the eclipse is on the 25th I think!  I love my colours because I am a true narcissist radiating vibrant hues of violet, ruby & oh so crimson!  Did I mention safron too?  I hope you have a great evening and that you think of me often, I'm worth it!

 

One Day

May 21, 2013
6:58 am
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Hello One Day,

I hope the sky will be clear enough for me to observe the lunar eclipse What did you paint?My fav colors are black, purple and indigo. It's a beautiful day and I have a busy schedule. I hope to get my resume done. Been very unmotivated work wise. Yes you are worth itSmile

 

Feeling Good

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 21, 2013
10:43 am
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Well Flu boy,

what I accomplished today was very courageous of me.  I awoke very early & had much courage to take care of myself & be brave enough to endure all the consequences of my actions which arose out of my foolish love for that guy for the last 8 years.  I have told myself that regardless of the diagnosis, everything will be o.k. & afterall the minute we are born we start dying right?

I am happy that you feel good today.  I did quite a bit of crying, but not baby crying, just the real cleansing type.

I really love all colours, especially when they are mixed as pastels as in the books called "The  Mole Sisters."  I would one day love to have my own bedroom and paint it exactly as in those books because it makes me happy and calm.

I painted the first floor of my dilapidated but have hope for home.  The colour is camelcoat but as I am the sole proprietor of the poor painting company, I just covered over another colour and the camelcoat came out way too dark.

There is a rather big storm ready to hit my town.  It happened last night as well.  It feels ominious and foreboding somehow but I feel confident that we will move with it & through it and pick up the wreakage and walk forward towards many sunny days aheadSmile

 

I hope you stay in touch.   You never told me what happened with the girl?  Did she show up?  Did you tell her about your feelings?

 

One Day

May 21, 2013
8:22 pm
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Dear One Day,

I hope you can process all of these feelings that you have deep down inside so that you may resolve all of that unfinished business that you have with this man.Do you like spring colors? How long did it take you to paint? Did you use a roller or a sprayer? This spring has brought a ton of powerful storms. I can't help but wonder if mother nature has always been this fierce and we never were aware due to lack the www web to get so much information accross or if the ozone layer above the north pole is causing the polar ice caps to melt which puts more moisture back up into the air that is causing all of this? 

Check this you tube video out:       <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10151653946791458" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0"></iframe>  

This says she will be out to see me next week. I will let you know what happens. I did tell her how I felt.She has told me different versions of how she feels. I haven't seen her in over a year and when I see her in person that should tell me I all need to know. 

 

Flu boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 21, 2013
8:38 pm
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Happy Mother's month to all wonderful moms out there!!!

May 22, 2013
3:51 am
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Dearest Flu boy,

I am sorry I do not Facebook or check Facebook accounts.  I am glad that you told the girl how you felt.  I think I am pretty much finished with the guy.  There is nothing left to do but look after myself & my children.  Maybe I will get to do it again in a different way on the other side.

I used a roller to paint & yesterday I bought rubbing alcohol for the mistakes.  The front Foyer I will need help with finishing as the ceiling is way too high & I already stood on the part of the ladder that I was not supposed to to try & reach it.

I hope your girl arrives and that you guys have tons of fun together, not just talking.  I hope it works out for you.

 

Why did you guys wait one whole year before you saw each other again? 

 

I hope you stay in touch,

 

One day

May 22, 2013
6:37 am
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Dear One Day,

I had a dream last night that I was flying an airplane with someone and I look up in the sky and it was growing dim and I saw black holes in the sky and other amazing things. The person sitting next to me validated all that I saw and I was happy that we both saw the same things. I knew I had to use the sun and fly into the direction of the sun so I wouldn't get lost until I realized that flying towards the sun was no destination and I would eventuallyl wind up getting burned so I turned the plane around and flew back towards earth until I landed on the ground. At that point I handed the keys to the plane to the person I was flying with and told them to fly it alone back towards the sun because I wanted to stay on the earth.

  I waited over a year to see her again because when the one and only time I met her in person I was not attracted to her.So we just talked on the phone and then 6 months of talking I decided I was interested in her but she did not come back to see me because she did not make hardly any money and couldn't affortd it then wound up cultivating a relationship with her ex who contacted her on FB and moving in with him and working for him so I cut all ties with her.Then she met someone else and I found out that the person she met contacted one of my friends to start crap with me and then I contacted her about it. She told me she didn't believe that her new BF would ever do such things and her and I did not get along so I blocked her and ignored her. Then one day found an email and she apologized and said I was right that her BF did nothing but lie and cheat on her and was sorry it cost us our friendship.Then we decided we needed to meet up in person to see where we stood.

 

flu boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 22, 2013
10:03 am
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Flu boy,

so now you know where you stand.  Right?  You tried to fly the plane towards the sun or even just away from the debris that both you and your friend acknowledged as real.  You both had the same perception & it was super special, but you gave the keys to your friend & decided to stay on earth.  Your friend now has the plane & the keys & your friend can do whatever they please because you were not willing to risk leaving the earth with them.  You were too afraid.  Please do not tell your friend or other person with whom you are flying what to do.  They may choose to fly alone, fly with someone else or just hold on to those keys & that plane until maybe one day you might not be so scared of the sun or the destination which leads you to envision new and amazing things that made you happy.

 

You still do not speak about what transpired during your latest encounter with this girl & all the BF's and all the misunderstandings & here we go round the mulberry bush so early in the morning....

 

New song- alternative - Lana Del Rey - Born to Die. 

 

One Day

May 22, 2013
8:00 pm
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One Day,

Just listened to the song Born to Die.Loved it. A year and a half is a long time to wait to see someone again. When we first met then spoke every day for 7 months she didn't mention anything about a relationship and neither did I.Well she hinted and I shot it down. I just was feeling numb back then.Recently we both openened up our hearts and spoke about our feelings. We both had deep regrets about cutting all ties and couldn't get each other off of our minds. All I know is we have unfinished business and I need to see her again. The rest remains to be seen. I will know for sure next week then I will let you know. My life is good. I'm so content. Did the storm hit hard? I hope you are OK.

 

Flu boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 23, 2013
3:44 am
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Flu boy,

actually we didn't get much debris from the storm.  It did put some weight on some bushes which are close to our front door so I needed to trim them.  At this time of the year it appears as if we live in the tropics as our neighbourhood is lush with brilliant green and mature Manitoba Maples.  It's an older street and the trees have canopied and extended their affections on each side of the street.  I am grateful for the beauty the surrounds me.  I hope all goes well for you and your romantic involvement.  If not, like you mentioned, your life is good & you are content.  If the girl enhances that & respects it, then wonderful.  If on the other hand, she complicates it and causes you grief, move on.

 

One Day

May 23, 2013
7:39 am
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Hello One day,

I am glad to hear that you are OK.The major obstacle is that in order to have a relationship with this woman it would involve extensive travel or relocation. She has to be gone for weeks at a time due to her choice to have a schedule like that and lives with her ex. In other words there is no way I would relocate for that reason. She said she is looking for someone who will put up with her being gone for weeks on ends and make them self available at her convienance and if she says she is going to do something and does not follow up on it she wants someone to put up with that as wellFrown. I heard a lot about what she wanted but didn't hear a word about what I wanted or needed. I'm not sure she is relationship material now and I didn't think so when I first met her either. I have no idea how it will go when we meet up if we don't resonate then any further thought is futile. The canopy trees must look amazing and offer great shade. I am an ocean boi. Off to work and will check back to see how you are doing. What are your plans today?

 

Ocean boi

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 23, 2013
8:15 am
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Ocean boi,

trust me the ocean beats the canopy trees each & everyday in my books!

I understand about her scheudule, but why must she live with her ex husband?

If you did relocate to be closer to her, would she be with you during all her free time or still would the ex husband need to reside with her?

 

Today so far I went to the gym & needed to pick up some stuff for tonights dinner. 

 

Now I have the task of a very physical job to do  & then the normal evening chores.  I wish you could visit for dinner, but thats just me wanting company other than children sometimes.

How far is the ocean from your home?

 

One Day

May 23, 2013
11:56 am
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One Day,

What is for dinner tonight? I had some watermelon for lunch. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to the ocean and I try to go at least once or twice a day. Truthfully the situation with her and her ex is not for me and I think she is looking for someone to put up with her crap. Been hearing about what she wants but she doesnt mention anything that would make me happy. The last one she was with after three months of knowing her got sick of being ignored and met someone else but didn't tell her about it, and she found out through others then showed up at the persons house and found them together. I'm not sure what I want. One minute I feel like I can't live without her and the next I know that I would be crazy to walk away for even a second from all that I have now. There is a chance that when I see her again that I will be turned off the same way I was the last time and it will end on that note. Let's hope. LOL. What kind of physical work are you doing? 

 

Ocean Boi

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 23, 2013
1:26 pm
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Ocean Boi,

lucky you!  I would not give up that quick walk to the Ocean for any guy or any person at all!Smile  No wonder you have such fantastical dreams.  How old are you?  Maybe you could invite me over & I could tidy your home for you!  Just give me two full days by the ocean all to myselfCool

For dinner & still in progress was barbeque hamburgers on sesame seed buns loaded with every topping you can imagine (no joke).  Also included was wedge oven baked potatoes & each person got two onion ring slices to put either in their burger or to the side.

The chore is delivering the local newspaper.  69 homes, all to the doorstep, not at the curb.  We now have fall like weather outside (no joke)  everyone is wearing hoodies including me.  Yesterday you needed air conditioning.  Weird.

What to say about the girlfriend?  It's hard to be alone, but being with the wrong person also sucks.  She does not sound particularly dedicated to anything that you want for you.  Am I right? 

My youngest son sometimes teaches me the current street/school slang & the other day he said that kids say YOLO but that it's kind of lame.  It means You Only Live Once, but you probably already knew that.

If your into her, and your gonna see her, protect yourself & have a good time, but if I were you, I would not jump through any hoops expecting she will notice and suddenly change her person.

If she truly wants to be with you, let her jump a bit so that you take notice.

My Mom was a real smart lady and she told me that you should always be with someone who likes you just a bit more than you like them.  I still don't really understand her words & honestly I am a terrible foolish lover so I'm going to ask you to ask someone a little more grounded about the girl.  When I love, I love.  It's not undone.  I might get sad, say goodbye, be angry, try to forget, but I always still love that person.  It takes time for me to know when it's real, but when I do, I just do.

And for most of the men that I love & have loved, it's just not an acceptable approach.  Even with girlfriends or family.  I guess that's why I just refuse to do it anymore except with family & even there I only forgive my Father for things because he is elderly and I know that my time with him is running out.

Honestly, I like you & the way you write with me, but I know it won't last & I know that we will never really "know" each other.  Except for being a parent to my children, & minimal necessary convos with friends & family, I really have not much left to say & honestly am not looking for anyone new to say anything to.

 

One Day

May 23, 2013
2:33 pm
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Hello One Day,

No airconditioner needed yet. It is cool here today but warms up as the day day goes on then cools off again. I have to admit I wore board shorts and a tank top all day. I love to BBQ but never seem to have the time. You must be a great cook. The way people drive around here I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to deliver newspapers. That is a ton of dedication on your part. 

I haven't seen the jump through hoops part of her and I didn't see that side to her before either and that is why we parted ways a year ago. I really don't know how she feels about me. She does say that she wishes we could be together and she wishes she could put me in her pocket so I could go every where with her and she wishes I could see what she does on her job all day. But she shows no interest about anything going on in my life or trying to go out of her way to do anything for me. I agree with you mom about being with someone who is into me. When I had that other woman visit me the other day she was blowing up my phone and talking to me until three am to the point I couldn't even have a conversation with this other woman.Now that this woman has gone she doesn't really text or have anything to say. She doesn't even know what I want much less show any interest or ask any quesitons about what I want. I believe that she thinks that if something works our between us that I am just going to pull up stakes and relocate and I can tell you one thing for sure right now that no matter what that is NEVER going to happen.My guess would be that she will go home and eventually figure that out and try to find someone else who will put up with her crap and disappear just like she did before. I am not actively pursuing anyone right now because I have other priorities that I need to follow up on. 

It is hard to get to know anyone with out meeting them face to face and if you are bored with having convos with me I understand. Thanks for lending an ear and giving me great advice I really appreciate it. 

 

Ocean boi

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 24, 2013
3:35 am
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Ocean boi,

I am not trying to get anyone.  You misunderstand.  The only things I might need to get are a couple of operations both on my left knee and abdomen.  I do not believe in looking for love.  Not on the internet, not in bars, not on singles vacations etc.  If I am meant to have a romantic interest in my life again one day then I will, just because that is what was meant to be.

Why would you think that I was bored writing with you?  Maybe you are bored & trying to project that onto me?

Whatever choices you make about the women in or out of your life has nothing to do with me.  I just thought it nice that we could be friends in a limited kind of way.

I hope you did not take offence to me asking how old you are.

Whereabouts do you live?

I am well over 40 & I live in Canada.

 

Hope you stay in touch.

 

One Day

 

One Day

May 24, 2013
6:32 am
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Good Morning One day,

I am off to the air port to pick up a friend who will be flying in for the weekend to enjoy the sun and fun. He wants to go to the beach right away. You did say you are in a relationship with this guy right? I am not in a romantic relationship with anyone. But hope to meet up with this woman and take care of some unfinished business not sure where it will go because both of us live so far apart and other reasons that I have shared with you. I live near the ocean and the climate will be in the sixtys this week even though as the day goes on it seems warmer than that to me. I am not as young as you think and not sure why you think I am or if you even think that LOL. I am off to work now and will talk to you later today.

 

Ocean boi

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 24, 2013
12:38 pm
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Ocean boi,

You seemed like you were in your late twenties or very early thirties.  Why is it such a secret?  NO.  The answer is NO.  I am no longer in a relationship with the guy.  I am not in a relationship with any guys  except my three sons, and I am their Mom, not their girlfriend.  I have some close friends, but mostly I stay in touch with my elderly father & my eldest sister.   I have also a baby sister who is ten years my junior but she refuses to see me or speak to me because she despises my Father and my older sister.  My older sister is my older sister.  I love her & my baby sister no matter how much they disagree on matters.  I refuse to not speak with my Dad to be able to speak to my baby sister.  So I have lost an 8 year relationship yes, & likely a baby sister as well, but I have to accept what I cannot change & I am trying to do what I can for myself.

No, I don't want to end up alone, but this decision is not going to be something I think too much about because like I said before, I am quite foolish when it comes to matters relating to the heart & it is emotionally too much for me to try and process.

Right now I have multiple health concerns, three teenage children to parent & a Father with Dementia.  I don't think it's wise for me to try to find another man to walk into my life, knock on my door & decide in 8 years from now that he hates my guts.

Being lonely for the person you still love sucks, but if being alongside that person makes you either cry or scream on a daily basis, I think I shall opt for being lonely.

 

I hope things go the way they should for you and your lady friend.  I hope your guy friend enjoys his visit & I hope more than anything that you stay in touch.

 

One Day

May 24, 2013
11:16 pm
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One Day,

I am glad to see my friend we ran around all day.Then I had to do work that I finally got motivated to complete. I doubt that things will go in a good way when this woman comes to visit next week.I spoke to her today and she started telling me about getting messages from people on a dating gig and I'm like why are you on a dating thing and she tells me that I am being insecure.Talk about insecure she called me off the hook when the other woman was out visiting me and really interefered with me spending any time at all with her. Now that that woman is gone she doesn't call like that any more. When she talks about dating other people she says she doesn't because she doesn't have the time not because she is trying to work things out with me. I get a bad, bad, feeling about her. All she talks about is how much she loves her job and how hard it is for her to communicate with me. I hate the way she says she will call and doesn't I just dont want to say anything to her until I see her in person but from the way things stand now I don't see how there would be any way things would work out. Of course things could go either one after I see her. Its like with that other woman that just came out she seemed one way over the phone and a much different way in person. I have no idea why I am drawn to someone that I know is not good for me. I will be shocked if she really shows up. Feeling bad about all of this right now. 

 

Ocean boi

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 25, 2013
4:37 am
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Ocean Boi,

please just relax.  There is little you can do to change whatever happens.  I can only make comments based upon your reflections of this girl/woman.  Who knows what she really wants or if she is suitable for you?  Maybe someone more responsive is right around the corner.  You just be yourself & don't feel bad about anything that happens.  As long as you are staying true to what you believe, she really cannot hurt you.  I used to know this girl in her mid twenties that went on like three dates a day for a whole year!  She was desperate to meet the right guy.  She never dressed up for these coffee dates or dinner dates.  She wanted them to know her exactly as she was on an everyday level.  In the end, she was really attracted to one guy & there was one fellow who adored her.  Funny she ended up living with the one she liked.  Then she found out many things about him that made her know she had been mistaken.  The other guy in the meantime met another woman & seemed content from what she told me.  They stayed friends.  If you are o.k. to keep meeting different girls/women, & the dating scene is not a problem for you, just take your time.  Whatever is supposed to happen will.  Relationships are very tough Ocean Boi.  Just try to keep them REAL.

 

One Day

May 25, 2013
1:14 pm
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One Day,

Thank you for reminding me to relax. True I have no control over what will be and no idea what this woman wants or if we are right for each other.There is no way of knowing over the phone. I do have people that are more responsive but I am not attracted to them. I am not into the dating scene or meeting random people. I am either attracted to someone or I am not. 

I did call this woman this morning and told her that she didn't want a commited relationship because the only thing she was interested in was having everything her way. I told her that when she talks all I hear her saying is that she is an asshole who wants to treat me like garbage.I told her she had no business in a comitted relationship because that's not how it works. All this talk about her time and her space is not a relationship.Told her I wasn't comfortable with all this stuff she's been saying. I just don't see any good coming of this at all. I know I haven't met up with her again but she already told me how it would be.

She told me that it sounded like I had doubts about her coming to see me and I told her it sounded like she did because she is the one that mentioned it. All she said back was she was half hearted about seeing me, that I couldn't expect her to jump from one relationship to another and that she did want to see me to see how things go. I called her back again and told her that if she isn't ready to get into another relationship, checking out others on dating sites, loved her ex and half hearted that it was better for her to stay where she was at and carry on. At that point she said she still loved me and feared that I would never talk to her again after I meet up with her. I told her that all depended on what she was willing to do to make sure that didn't happen that it wasn't the type of thing to leave up to fate. The hughest obstacle is the distance. If that doesn't get resolved then I will have to let go. She said she had a hard time talking about her feelings because of things that happened in her past and I told her that I didn't owe her an emotional debt for her past and didn't want to be punished for her bad choices. I told her that I understood why her ex ended things with her and quickly moved on to someone else because no one was looking for someone to make them feel bad. I told her that if she continued with that behavior that I would not reward it and do the same thing. She knew from what happened in the past that I would cut her off and suddenly changed her tune. 

I am going to rest then hope to catch a movie later with my friend. My friend keeps bugging me about taking him to the ocean. Wish I could show you. I will upload a pic of it  for you.

 

Ocean boi.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 25, 2013
3:04 pm
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Ocean Boi,

I might not be making much sense today.  I had quite a bitter pill to swallow and up ahead are some not so pleasant times for me.

 

About the girl, you seem to have a very deep understanding of her issues.  That is a little scary from where I stand.  Not because you are not being very aware of her behaviour but more so why you feel you need to dissect her actions.

 

Can you not sit down with yourself and just let this very intense kind of relationship go for a short time?  Say 6 months.  Focus only on friends & family & pets & mostly on just learning about yourself and what you can give yourself.

I feel you are just waiting for her to do one more thing that you do not approve of so that you can toss her aside and feel what?  Some sort of self-justification in so doing?.  Is this kind of emotional chess playing really helping your emotional state and improving the quality of your life?

You wrote: "I told her that when she talks, all I hear her saying is that she is an asshole  who wants to treat me like garbage".  Unless there are some grammatical errors here or some form of dyslexia that you have not mentioned, please hear what you are writing!  In one sentence you are describing a relationship that is wholly toxic and in my belief describing two people who need time to heal & heal on their own by whatever resources they can aquire.

You are not permitted to tell her how to behave.  You are not permitted to make any kind of ultimatums on another human being.

I care deeply for you even though I really do not know you, but I am begging you to stop the self torture and to abandon your need to control any outcomes.

Having said this, I would whole-heartedly love very much to see your perspective of this ocean of yours.

I love you very much Ocean Boi

 

One Day

May 26, 2013
7:27 am
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January 8, 2013
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One Day,

I'm sorry to hear that something bad has happened to you Frown.If you feel like sharing I'm all ears.

In regards to this woman I noticed from day one that she had a negative impact on my life. I felt I did a good job by keeping my boundaries and staying away from her. But that was easy because I was not physcially attracted to her. As time went on I developed some sort of sick attachment to her. I did cut her off and stayed out of contact with her from last July until December. I did not contact her in December I contacted a friend who did not know her who informed me that this woman put the one who she was dating up to contacting my friend to try to interfere and my friend and I friendship. And then all of the thoughts and feelings that faded started to come back again and here I am now. I contacted her about all of that crap to hear her side of it and all she did was deny and lie then I blocked her again, cut all ties, the feelings faded when I suddenly get an email with an apology and being told I was right and the person she was in a relationship with was a liar. With all that has gone on I just thought her and I need to meet face to face. During that time we had a lot to talk about. If she was just a friend someone I had no feelings for and vise versa I would not waste my time trying to figure her out. But, her and I have feelings for earch other and have plans to meet up and she expects a romantic relationship. Because her behavior, words, etc. have an effect on me I felt the need to not assume anything and to find out where she was coming from and the need to let her know how I feel about it. Yesterday was the first day that I decided to confront her. I doubt that any good became of it. She talked to me here and there and I was always felt after we ended the conversation that nothing was resolved. I went to the gym last night and she called me while I was working out and said she was taking a shower and would call me back. She never did then like 3 hours later sends me a text that she is sick, throwing up and diarhea I asked her why and she said it was because she got bit on the ankle but she doesn't know what bit her. Then a few texts about how bad her head hurts, she might call me in the middle of the night if it gets worse, she is too sick to drive herself to the ER. She is supposed to be here next week and I just don't know what to think. I paid for the ticket and she said she will pay me for it when she sees me. I just have such a bad feeling right now. I didn't get to go to the ocean yesterday but I hope to today. It might be the harbor if there is no parking and I will get a pic. 

Yes it is self torture. For some reason I am driven to see this woman again. I know I can't control things, but she is supposed to meet me next week and I have no idea what to expect. I just tried to call her and she didn't answer the phone. I just sent her a text and told her that I had a really bad feeling about things. Funny how she was too sick to call but could text. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

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