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To: onedaythiswillpass Happy Mothers Day!
May 12, 2013
6:40 am
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2013ways
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Happy Mothers Day! 

You're children are lucky to have an amazing mom like you. 

 

flue boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 12, 2013
8:35 am
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Not the way it is Fluee boy.  I am lucky to have them & friends like u!!Smile

May 12, 2013
4:38 pm
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Thank you. What did you do today?

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 13, 2013
3:15 am
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I went to visit my Mom with my sister & father at the cemetary.  We read passages & brought stones & flowers from my garden.  It was cold & very unseasonable for weather yesterday where I live.  I got a present from my youngest son & a very heartfelt card which I have displayed where we always have our cards in the house.  My middle son gave me a homemade card which I am afraid to ever lose that is how cherised it makes me feel.  My eldest gave me a store card which was blank.  His words made me cry & understand that what bonds him & I is a forever thing & I feel that I have done a good job with all three.  I watched a movie here at home that I had wanted to see from start to finish.  I had a short nap & then I made Mom's Spaghetti with cheesy garlic bread.  I did some laundry, washed more dishes than is usual & had a bath.  Then I spoke with my very best friend and went to sleep.Smile

May 13, 2013
1:39 pm
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You are fortunate to have a life filled with family who cares about you and a best friend to boot.Sorry the weather wasn't more pleasing. I had a fantastic day. I heard from an old buddy that I hadn't heard from in a good long while.I bought one of those nook HD + tablets that were on sale and have enjoyed watching some movies on it and playing games. I went swimming in the morning and walked around the lake at sunset. Still have work to do that I keep putting off. Believe it or not I wound up getting very sick a month ago AGAIN started with a miserable fever then laryngitis, a bad sore throat that lasted for a long time. Worst part about it is that my eustachian tube got blocked and still kinda feels that way. I have spoken to several others that have had the same thing. 

 

Flue boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 13, 2013
2:15 pm
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I do have one very very dear friend that I wish would see that romantically I only want to be around him, but he is angry with me because he never tells me exactly how he feels about me & refuses to make any promises for a hopeful long future together.  I mean I know that it is impossible to know what tomorrow really brings, but at least if he told me more often that he hopes for something long term together, I would at least know we were on the same page.

I love spending time with him, but I always feel that its just during times when he is lonely.  When we are apart, I just want to be alone.  I have tried to move on & it's not in the cards no matter if he fights with me.  I would rather be without him & just have what I have then look eleswhere for what he gives me because it's just plain silly to look for something that only exists so beautifully within one person.

 

I hope you feel better soon.  Why are u always sick?  Do you have a medical condition or chronic illness?

 

One Day

May 13, 2013
4:23 pm
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Hello One Day.I seemed to have come down with one virus after another. An occupational hazard. I know what you mean when you say that it is hard if not impossible to move on if you only love one person. I carried a torch for my true love even though she moved on and became involved with someone else. She found out that her new love was cheating on her with another for 3 1/2 months after they started dating and she didn't find out until not too long ago and that prompted a letter of apology. I told her that unless she was willing to take the next step and meet me face to face for a discussion then I am going to continue trying to find someone who can find the time to be with me.I do have a date set up with a friend this weekend to go out and have some fun, it's just that right now I'm not feeling any sparks flying. In my heart I feel that she is the one but until she makes an effort to see me and firm things up I don't know what to think. I keep hoping against all hope but I see no point in moving on with anyone if I don't feel anything for them and still love her.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 14, 2013
1:35 pm
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Flue boy,

things are far from perfect with this guy, but I am trying & perhaps he too is trying.  I feel that no matter what we will crash soon enough again at least for a period of time because that is the nature of the relationship.  I think we both suffer from very similar issues and we obviously have times when we are just dancing the anger or resentful dance.  Then of course their is the troubles of the past which neither one of us allows the other to forget when we are fighting. 

When there are no words, things are amazing, but getting there is a very tense, stressful journey.

Yesterday he full out had one of his anger for nothing/I feel hurt & want to unleash attitudes except this time his roomate was right there holding my hand and assuring me that he was just having a day.

It's not just him, I too sometimes act out of sheer fear of him not being honest.  It's all those hours that he disappears mysteriously or even just feeling that I not good enough for him because of the age difference.

I know we will always be friends even if he does meet a new girl & marries, I just wonder if it's me that stands in his way of finding her?

Whatever will be will be.

 

One Day

May 14, 2013
5:04 pm
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Flue boy,

it's kind of horrible for me to have to admit this, but I am pretty certain that this so called guy that I really care for has serious issues that are not going away.  It's actually pretty sad.  Never mind his active addictions, but I do believe he has many more things going on that are geniunely sad & I cannot see him getting past those issues, not today or in the future.  More & more of his friends who have been around him for long periods are just trying to keep their distance & I understand why.  He makes me feel bad many times for no reason & he constantly wants reassurance from me.  In the past, I would also behave this way, but now my life is slightly different.  I still want to be his friend, but his mood swings are difficult for me & honestly, I would rather just keep more distance and take care of more important things.  He is not ready to address his issues & I cannot & will not try to explain this to him.  I hope one day he gets better.

 

It's just too much of him always wanting me to feel sorry for him, him pouting & needing constant reassurance.  Honestly, It's getting a little annoying & every effort to be assertive on my part is met by him punishing me for something or taking something of mine away or re-nigging on a promise.  Really do I need this kind of a relationship?  He only sees what is going on for him.  I want to have happy times with him, but he just won't accept that I have real responsibilities to uphold.

 

One Day

May 14, 2013
10:01 pm
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Hi One Day.It does seem like we are emotionally involved with people who are not relationship material to say the very least. I don't think you need this guy but for some reason you want him. I don't have a clue what is really going on between me and this woman who suddenly decided to apologize. She text me this morning and asked if she could call later, never did and I just got a text from her at this late breaking hour saying that an emergency came up  and she had to take her friends bird to the vet because it pulled it's feathers out and she couldn't stop the bleeding. Earlier in the day she said she promised to come spend time with me and said she was going to talk to her boss tonight about making plans to get some time off to do it, but the bird issue came up. I mean what are the chances? Just one more day to the year and a half marathon of excuses. This one with the bird story.... the story is getting even better now she is saying she is gong to have a big bill. My guess is she will say she can't see me because she is out all this money for a vet bill. But I do have plans on Thursday to spend time with a friend of a friend. A new person. I know this woman is not good for me she never has been and never will be. If my logic could convince my heart that would help.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 15, 2013
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Ya,

I think I have learned my lesson with this person.  He has issues that he refuses to deal with.  I am sick today in direct correlation to having spent time with him.  I think it's time I realized that he just does whatever is good for him & cares less about what the other person is thinking or feeling.  I really do not want to pursue romance anymore.  There are other things to love in this life that are much safer & less hurtful to me.  Maybe one day he will come to realize how immature he has been.  We both made mistakes, but I feel he has done none of the work towards making our relationship thrive.

 

one day

May 15, 2013
2:53 pm
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one day I wish I would learn my lesson.This woman only talks as if she is the only one in the picture as in I want someone who will put up with me working 24/7, then let me spend time with my friends and go on hikes without the.Not a word about what she wants to do for someone else.  We stayed up talking until late on the phone because I shot her a text and told her I was making plans for a vacation with someone else. Then we spoke on the phone I told her she had her chance with me and she has done nothing for me since the day I met her. I told her I would not abandon her or stop talking to her but we would just be friends. Of course she suddenly claimed she was going to come visit me. That remains to be seen. I have no idea why I am so into a woman that is living her own life with no concern towards me.

 

flu boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 16, 2013
3:43 am
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To Flue boy,

Just don't get too excited about any of her promises.  With my freind he talks alot about what him & I will do together in the future, and then  he proceeds to just go on vacation by himself.  He takes me places & picks fights with me, he turns all my words around & makes me feel small & ugly.  He watches me cry knowing I did nothing to deserve it & yet he always has some aquisation about the way I live my life.  He will not accept that I have made huge changes in my life & that it took a huge effort.  He hates that I believe in God & continually tells me that "Sooner or later, I will go back to my old ways".  Meanwhile I am always protecting him and his efforts, always telling him how wonderfully talented & smart he is.  He has got to be the moodiest person alive.  His mood changes like every hour.  Honestly, who needs this kind of torture?

 

One Day

May 16, 2013
10:56 am
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One Day,

I have noticed that this woman is Ok in the morning and then gets sarcastic, short tempered in the evening.I heard from her ex that she drinks beer every night and she claims its cause she works long hard hours.When we talk it is all about her day, she never opens her mouth to say anything about me or to listen to how my day went. She isn't even attractive for that matter, but I have feelings for her strong ones and I don't know why. Hopefully she will be here in 2 weeks like she promised. She called yesterday morning and said that she got the time off at work and an airline ticket and showed me the receipt. I feel like her and I need closure. Who needs that kind of torture is right, but for some reason we do and that doesn't make sense does it? That was after I told her that someone we both know will be coming and staying with me for a few days and I told her that I would rather have someone in my life that wants me and not waste my time on someone who doesn't. Emotionally she drains me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 17, 2013
3:50 am
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Yes 2013, I have this same problem in the reverse.  Exactly as you described.  The guy just get weird and kind of like a child who is hell bent on toturing me because he is tired and starts his drinking/whatever else he does addiction after work.  He makes my day go off kilter & no matter how rational I try to be with him on the phone or through texting & even live, he continually attacks me and makes grandiose assumptions.  I tell him the truth, but he insists I am covering things up.  I wanna be with him, but is it worth it?  Rarely does he even say thank you or sorry for the many things he should.  His line is that he is "not doing alright" & he feels he can solve his issues with abusing substances.  I think deep down he is a very good person, but he is just stuck in his ways & obviously needs treatment.  I cannot help him, but I do care for him a great deal.  His behaviour drains me emotionally as well.  This is why I sometimes would rather not see him, but then I start really missing him because with no words, we seem to be o.k.

 

One day

May 18, 2013
1:20 pm
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Good afternoon Onday,

The woman I had planned to met up with is here and sadly she is not the one.I think she is nice and friendly, but has no interest in anything I have to say and gets annoyed and starts cursing if I don't do what she wants me to do when she wants me to do it. Thank goodness she can keep herself entertained and is gone from the time she gets up in the morning until it's time for her to go to bed. She has been sleeping in my guest bed room.No love connection here. But, the other one has been calling and firming up plans to see me in less than two weeks.Ever since the other woman arrived this one has stepped up to the plate and told me how she feels about me and has been calling me until 3:30 am.Keeping a careful eye on the situation. Basically I told her that it drains me whenever I have to ask a woman out over and over again or when things get stagnant, that it was time for me to open up my mind to woman that were interested in me. Won't know for sure what is going on until I see her in person. I am going to get some rest because I have an outting planned by myself tonight originally I had set the time aside for the woman who is visiting me now but I need to cut my losses and not do something with someone that I am not into. I tried to type to you last night but she stood right over me and I lost my train of thought.

 

Flue boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 18, 2013
10:42 pm
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Today was very busy I went to the gym and worked out two times and plan to go again tomorrow.This woman who is visiting me is still here and plans to be gone all day tomorrow again then leaves on Monday. I find it difficult to carry on a conversation with her because no matter what I say or do she is rude to me and made it clear she wants to do things her way and doesn't like to plan anything.But I did speak to the woman I love on and off today and she will come out to see me soon. I hope against all hope that it will work out but I won't know for sure until I see her. She keeps carrying on and on about all of this weight that she gained and is thinks I won't like they way she looks.She sent me a recent pic and looks nice to me.I am still slacking on my work. This visitor has thrown my schedule for a loop. I hope tomorrow I can do my resume.One day I would love to settle down and raise a puppy with my future wife. I am tired Oneday and missed hearing from you.

 

Flu boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 19, 2013
3:22 am
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Hey Flue Boy,

I hear your misery and apprehension loud & clear.  The guy I like to be with has decided that since he has such a great income & few responsibilities, that when he has time off of work, he will do things to enjoy himself.  That part is fine, except he goes way overboard and in the end he jeopardizes his heath & quite possibly he could endanger others unknowingly.  He woke me in the middle of the night on Sat. night out of a sleep to join him in his adventures, but I said no.

The way I see it, I can't stop him from doing what he does, but  I can try to consider the reprucations on my personal saftey and try to remember that my life is not like his in that I am parenting three children.

Since him & I fight all the time & since his moods can change so quickly, I have decided that I am going to limit my conversations with him whether we are on the phone or in person or via text.

I have learned in a very hard way, that being very quiet around others regardless of them being nice, outrageous pigs or anything in between is really my best coping strategy.

I know this is hard for you to understand, but it took me years to understand that in general no one is really listening & if you are having a good day, chances are someone will ruin it if you let them.

I try to stay kind & be myself, but the truth is that no one likes who I really am except for me.  And honestly I could care less.  I am not changing to be like them because what I see are a bunch of phony wretched people who use one another any chance they get.

 

One Day

May 19, 2013
6:31 am
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Good morning one day,

Thanks for responding to me.If you don't mind me asking what kind of adventure does he want to take you on?Here I am on day 4 of having my day dictated by my house guest who is using me for a place to say so she can see the beautiful area I live in. I hope I can get it together to do some work.

 

Flue boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 19, 2013
9:18 am
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Flue boy, it's a triangle of substance indulgment combined with ravenous sex.  I don't like cigarettes or beer nor do I get happy from weed.  I have given up other substances, so for me it's really just keeping him company as he dehhydrates his body and goes through a sequence of imbibing in whatever makes him so ill that he finally spends the entire evening either totally paranoid or throwing up.

 

Not my idea of fun.

 

One Day

May 19, 2013
12:39 pm
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Hello one day,

I think he is either having a bad reaction to the drugs or taking too much of them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 19, 2013
1:04 pm
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Likely Flue boy he is taking way too much & I forgot to mention that when he decides to begin his self-abuse 48 hr. marathon, he has already worked for 12 hours that day and his day started at like 4:00a.m.

Imagine what his poor body needs to do to recover from the torture he puts it through?

His work is extremely physical, extremely intellectually demanding & he needs to be very personable every day.

 

I feel very bad for him on some level because he really is a very hard worker and a very brilliant thinker.  His real problem is that he continually thinks & he is very aware of the nuances of being alive in 2013 & trying to cope with many challenges.

He should have done more with his mind so far as work goes.  As far as I am concerned he is a wasted effort, but realistically he earns a good pay & he has obtained many things (material) by his sheer determination &  self motivation.

I never want to be in judgement of him because he has earned the right to do whatever he wants with his free time.  I just get scared that one day he might not be aware of how far he has gone by unintentionally hurting himself to the point where he expires or is compromised health wise.

To me he is like a treasure at times.  Someone I respect but I cannot really touch it or change it in any way.

It's painful to watch him.  I try when I am with him to give him as much love as I can, but whatever his real pain is, I do not think anyone can heal it.

 

One Day

May 20, 2013
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Good Morning One Day!

No doubt this man is choosing to engage in self abuse.The substances he is choosing to take cause immediate and long term physical damage to himself as well as emotional harm to you. If he continues abusing his earthly containter then he may suffer from a decreased quality of life and or a premature death and this would be devastating for you to witness. You are correct no one can heal it, but if he chooses to he can. 

I am looking forward to talking this over in person with a woman I have been in love with for a long time.I have no idea how it will go but I want to follow my heart and do what feels right. Getting ready to go to the gym with a friend of mine and hope that I will get some work done that I have not gotten to.

How are you One Day?What did you do today? 

 

Flu Boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

May 20, 2013
5:13 am
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Flu boy,

the day is only just beginning here.  I have addressed some concerns in writing & have written a bit more of my own novella.  I awoke quite early & it is only when I have this very alone & quiet time that I can address my personal writing.

I expect to paint today & tidy & if I find the time maybe go for a walk or take a tan & read a part of a lengthy grouping of books on my list.  Some are due back to the library rather soon & cannot be renewed, so I must do my best to read them.  One is particularly good & in demand!

I hope you have a good day & success at the gym.  I went yesterday & it was stressful and tiring.  I have not been well lately.

 

I really hope your "talk" goes well with your lady friend.  I don't know what you will say to her, but I hope it helps both of you to cope better.  You have tremendous courage to finally tell her that you do love her and that you have for a long time, but what does it mean for the both of you?

 

One Day

May 20, 2013
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One Day,

When you say you have addressed some concerns does this mean you wrote your BF a letter? What will you paint today? I hope that this lady actually shows up like she promised in person. Then I can see where she is coming from. Getting ready for my day. Will write more later.

 

Flue Boy

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

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