Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
To M&S from P&L (GG and anyone else too)
September 19, 2006
4:43 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

M&S

I read pp 165-170 of the Betrayal Bond today, and the book is worth those pages alone. I did those pages (workbook style), and wow, were they helpful. I had a dream last night about my job and how to get refocused on what i love about and why I got my doctorate, after all the pain of the past year. SO, I think I have it figured out, sort of like remembering why two people fell in love in the first place! So, now I remembered who I am and why I fell in love with my topic that I study. I am ready to publish, publish, publish! I am ready to be who I am, and I am ready to be very clear on my boundaries at work. The book talks about "no contact," "limited contact," vs "full relationship." I found this very useful. This limited contact idea is really helful, because we always talk about no contact, but there are just some people with whom you are stuck (like at work), and you have to figure out what to do with them and maintain inner and outward peace. So, I liked having to write down who is on me "list." Now, I know very clearly who is on my list. I also had to write down boundaries and bottom line behaviors. SO, this all was helpful. Anyway, thanks M&S. This was a great exercise. I believe it will work for me. Okay, hope you are well.. Update me!

Hugs, P&L

September 20, 2006
1:03 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hello P&L:

I am glad to hear that you continue to make progress. I too sometimes find solutions to problems in dreams.

I also found the concept of limited contact helpful. It seems to be possible if strong boundaries are made and enforced in some cases.

I hope that your health issues will improve soon.

I ordered the book by Karen Casey that you recommended. Looking forward to reading it.

Take care.

M&S

September 20, 2006
1:58 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

THanks for writing, M&S-

The reason I liked the limited contact thing is it reminds us to enforce strong boundaries with people we have to see so it is not a free for all. I found myself trying so hard to be nice and thinking the nicer I am, the nicer they will be. As you know, it just doesn't work. So, it ended up being all or nothing...no contact or full relationship. So, the limited contact list reminds me "orange alert" or red, yellow, or green light. Now that I have written the list, I know who is not a green light.

Let me know what you think of the Karen Casey book!

P&L

September 20, 2006
3:53 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

And you will just check the list before interacting 🙂 I like the idea of color coding your associates. Makes me smile!

I started reading a book about assertiveness because I need work in this area too. Very useful.

"Your Perfect Right: Assertivness & Equality in Your Life & Relationships"
Robert Alberti & Michael Emmons.

M&S

September 20, 2006
4:08 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

M&S

I am so into getting back to work and who I was before all the crises. I have a plan for getting focused, and it just feels fantastic. I am shutting out all negatives right now. I feel like I am healing!!!

You know you helped me turn a big corner, when you encouraged me to draw that line in the sand. In a way, you confronted me with my own self-defeating behavior based on fear. I really appreciate your honesty. I needed it.

Hugs, P&L

September 20, 2006
4:27 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

P&L

Many on this site have helped me with observations and advice. When you are in the situation, there is no perspective.

Getting a consultation from emotionally detached and experienced people is such a blessing. They can often see what the person involved cannot.

What was fascinating to me was watching you connect up the pieces and realize what you yourself needed to do to improve the situation. And then, you did it. That took courage.

I too am continually learning that taking care of oneself is the best way forward.

Hugs.

M&S

September 20, 2006
5:10 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

M&S

Thanks so much! 🙂

P&L

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
42
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110905
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38534
Posts: 714189
Newest Members:
sendlv, ViolentFighterBrownCaveman, kbrfDazy, traceyob69, JohnMeave, EthanDiord
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer