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To "Inner"..its me Kare
November 14, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Kare,
I hope to God you aren't pregnant.

You don't know who
you are anymore and feel alone because you have let this man rob
you of who you are and the support system you had.

You just don't
know how lucky you were to have your parents taking care of you and
Bella and paying for an attorney and for a therapist and everything
else.

Get away from this
monster. You know where this is leading.

Hugs and much love
to you and Bella Too!

Bitsy

November 14, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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hi
Kare

idk if youll b
able 2 post or not 2day..

I hope to God u r
not pregnant also!! (Bitsy)

agree with Bitsy
.. Get away from him while u still can.. it will only get worse,
not better..

if u think he will
not 'kill' u if u stay with him u r wrong.. he is an evil monster
with no heart and u just need 2 leave and try to press
charges......

love and hugs
thinkin bout u and Bella

November 14, 2010
12:00 am
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darkeyes
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hi
Kare! go see the dr and see what going on with you..Kare you have
choices and you can choose differently..you are alone hun cos that
is the way you want it, people are trying to help you and you are
letting fear take over and only you can change this. you did this
before, you walked out that door, you can do it again step by
step..& hun if and i say if you are pregnant, its something you
have to deal with, so try and become strong mentally. can feel you
dont kno if your coming or going, so you need to plan and go with
it.. even if its to stay with this guy, you need to get strong in
yourself to live this life you choose & for bella..& il
always respect your decision cos at the end of the day hun its your
journey and only you will walk it..sending love and hugs to you and
bella..Dark! ps keep posting to let us kno your ok...

November 14, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Hi,Bitsy,Inner,& Darkeyes I really pray im not also..it
would be more of a drastic situation.I already have
Isabella..geesh..She is so cranky today...I just finished preparing
dinner.(which I rather had been taking a nap).Its just too much to
take on.& Bitsy your right I didnt realize how Great I had it
there.smh..& I'm trying Bitsy..I hate that I fear him....He has
a few buddys over again watching the game.Glad I have time away
right now...Thank u all for being here.Love u all....

November 16, 2010
12:00 am
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darkeyes
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hi
Kare how are you? wishing life will get easier for you hun cos you
deserve only the best!! love you back! Dark.

November 16, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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^Bummmpppp!^ [email protected]

November 17, 2010
12:00 am
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chinadoll
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Hi
Kare,

Sorry I have been
away, I have so much that I want to tell you. I hope you understand
that I only want what is best for you and Bella.

I'm not sure if
what you feel for Bella's father is real love. First of all, real
love should not ever make you feel fearful. I have learned that
whenever you feel fear, that is your body trying to tell you
something is not right. In your mind, you can tell yourself that
everything is going to be ok. But when your body feels fear, you
cannot ignore it.

The other thing
you asked, about why his mother does not say anything, like she
pretends like nothing is wrong. Believe me, she knows that
something is wrong. But he has probably been abusive to her, too.
She is his mother, she knows exactly how he is. She just does not
want to be his next target, so she does what she can to
survive.

They say that you
can tell a lot about a man by the way that he treats his mother. I
wish I would have known that before I married my ex-husband. I wish
I would have recognized all of the signs of an abusive man before I
got married.

Remember that my
ex-husband tried two times to kill me. He tried poisoning my food.
Then he tried to choke me. He knew that I get life insurance money
provided to me from the military.

Another thing that
I wanted to tell you that is important. It makes me sad to know
that he is in the military. I say this because I am in the military
also. I want people to understand that he is not this way because
he is in the military. A lot of times people get the wrong
impression about people in the military (especially the men)
because of some of the negative things that they hear, such as
abuse, etc., and they think that the military causes it. It is not
the military that causes it, this is just him.

I have been in the
military for over 11 years. I am also in a higher rank where I have
people below me, and I supervise them. I have never acted in an
unprofessional manner with them, I am strict with them, but not
abusive. My job is to teach them, to train them, and to help them.
There are people in the military who do not feel adequate in their
job, so they have to take control in another area in their
life.

In his case, he
takes control of you. He does not have a lot of control at work,
because even though he is in charge of certain people, there is
someone in charge of him. He doesn't like that. So, he takes out
his anger and frustration on you.

It does not matter
whether he is in the military or in a different job, he was always
this way. This is who he is, he would be abusive regardless of what
his job is, The military just happens to be his job right
now.

Not everyone in
the military is like him. I've been in a long time, I have seen all
kinds.

Also, because
Bella is his daughter, he gets extra entitlements pay and benefits
for having her as his dependent. It does not matter if he claims
her on taxes or not, he is already claiming her as a dependent with
the military. I'm sure of it. If you marry him, he can claim you as
a military dependent, and get even more entitlements pay allowances
and benefits. It's called BAH. And he will get more BAH the more
children he has, whether from you or someone else. The military
just lists the number of children, they don't have to be from the
same mother.

If you choose to
marry him, make sure it is for the right reasons, and not so he can
just use you for his benefit and extra pay. Think long and hard
about this, you see what he is like not being married to him. It is
not going to change after you marry him. It does not matter what he
says. He will not change. This is who he is.

My boyfriend is
also in the military, he has been in for about 10 years. He is also
in a leadership position and has people below him. He is strict on
them at work, and expects them to do their job, but he is not
abusive.

He has never been
abusive to me. He is always caring and treats me with so much
respect. He has never even yelled at me. He never raises his voice
to me or makes me feel afraid.

So if Bella's
father tries to give you an excuse like you "made" him mad, it's
not true. He has total control over his emotions. The military
teaches us how to do this. We have to be in control of ourselves at
all times. If he tries to blame you, don't take it to heart. Deep
down inside he is insecure. He does not feel good about himself, so
he has to make you feel as bad as he does. He does not love
himself, so he is not able to love you.

Please think about
what I am saying. I am not here to judge you, or to make you feel
bad.

We have to learn
our own lessons in life. I can tell you everything I know, but you
can choose your own path. You don't have to listen to me, but I
hope that you do.

If my ex-husband
did kill me at that time, I would not be here to tell you that I
know how you feel. I told you this before, when these things
happened before. Things will not change if he does not change, and
it doesn't sound like he has changed or he will change.

This is my chance
to help you before it's too late. You have your whole life ahead of
you. What you decide now will set you on your path, you are the
only one who knows what you want for you and Bella.

I wish you nothing
but love and happiness. I hope that you will have that. I just
don't think that you will have that with him.

Sending you &
Bella lots of love and hugs!!

Sorry this was so
long. I hope you are here to read it before the post disappears
after so many days.

I will try to
check on you again soon.

November 17, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Hi,Darkeyes,Inner,& China..gosh I have been way out of
it.Inner im sorry to hear about you and your
husband.:(..geesh..Darkeyes thanks for all the LOVE & Positive
energy.China(WOW)Thanks...Gosh,most the time I feel like its my
fault.idk..& Thats true i never looked at his mother not saying
anything in that kind of way.& I do fear him and maybe your
right about the really not loving him part..geesh..just so much to
think about....Im really starting to feel that I dont love myself
much either....idk..why..i use to....Thank u so much Chinadoll for
giving me a bit of clarity.I really couldnt write everything I
wanted to.But its just almost everyday now he has to get
physical...Today he got so mad over nothing at all...I told myself
if it gets physical I would fight back...it did...But I just
couldnt stand up to him....i know I suck.....I talked to my parents
they keep sayn come home.But its hard he will hurt me....&
them.....& at first I did think it was because of the
military...Like I know im not a bad person at all & I try so so
hard with him.

November 18, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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hi ya
Kare, did u go to a doctor yet? i hope u r ok...

U dont sound like
urself.. i hope he wouldnt do that.. i mean hurt ur parents or
something and u.. that would b super bad... he sounds like a
monster who needs 2 just DIE... or b put under the
jail..

are u 2 afraid 2
press charges on him, u think he would 'get away with it' and come
after u? idk what u can do.. iknow u dont love him, (maybe as the
father of ur child the way i love my stbx) but u really seriously
need 2 get out.. go to a shelter for battered women they can help u
im sure theres at least one near where u are.. u still have a car
rite..? they will know what to do, they could 'hide' u and Bella
for awhile..

u had it so good
b4 u went bak, he WASNT gonna get bella in court i wish u woulnt
have ever gone bak to him.. how old is he anyway?

are u still in the
same state u were in? (im talkin about like fla, ga) that kinda
state lol

love &hugs
& prayers 2 u

November 18, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Hi,Inner I had an appt.yestetday but I didnt go.I made a new
appt.for Wed.& he said he would hurt them as well as myself and
I have no reason not to believe him at this point.Lately he has
been acting very out of control.I think I should go to a shelter
for a while.Then after go to my parents because I dont want them to
get hurt......& Inner yes I do think he would get away with it
and def.come after me.He would come after me regardless...He hasnt
be hesitant to paint a picture of what would happen.I know..i knw i
have to leave.but im terrified.....& theres def.some shelters
here..i looked two up but feel so scared to call...& yes I
still have my car but I dont have access to my keys.Idk..one of
these pass day he just start taking them....& he is 29 now...i
got involved with him when he was 25.I know I was too young...way
too young....geesh...

November 18, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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&
yes I'm living in the same State as before...Isabella is awake I
really hope she is not gonna be cranky....I'm way exhausted I
decided to get up here since I was already awake...& needed
comfort.I literally been up all night......

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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hi ya
Kare, aww, sorry u been up all nite...

did Bella keep u
up or just cant sleep like i couldnt 🙁

or he keep u up
🙁

i hope u get some
rest.. u need 2 b with ur parents where u can rest (and
recover)

please i am so
worried bout u.. is he 'abusing' u everyday now?

u need 2 go 2 the
hospital and press charges!!!

love u .. ill b on
for a minute.. if u wana talk!

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Hi,Inner are you still on?I have just waken...from a little
nap.& lastnight we were argueing all night.Then afterwards i
tried going to sleep but had trouble.& him being physical have
become a frequent issue....& im really working on getting back
to my parents soon.

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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hi
Kare, im bak...

im glad u r still
alive! 🙂

im sorry that he
hurts u at all, he needs 2 die... u could put him away! then he
cant c Bella at all!!

go 2 da police
station, file reports go bak to ur parents but first ask the police
for a RO and also tell them his threats and say u think u and ur
parents need protection- they might provide some until u can get
him put 'away'!

i just want whats
best for u and little Bella.. u r missin out on her 'baby hood' cus
this bastard. they r only a baby for a very short time and they
need more love and support than u can give her when u r with him
and always in fear of him and fighting with him,, u will look bak
and kick yourself for 'missing' alot when she was still a precious
baby and helpless baby..

have ur parents
got custody yet? i think that wud be best rite now for her sake...
until u can get strait and away from him, i know u might not like
this but i think she needs 2 b with them, as long as u choose to
stay with the monster...

good luck.. i hope
u really r gonna go 2 their house, but this time u have 2 stay
there and HAVE to try to put him in jail.. or else he might try to
kill u!! please b safe

hope u have a long
time free from violence and pain and concentrate on that beautiful
baby girl.. give her a hug from me!

love u!

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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Kare,
Im up for a bit if u need 2 talk...

hugs

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Thanks Inner..thank u sooo much.I just had to make sure he was
straight first.Because he is attending to Isabella for a
while.& I suppose to be cleaning.I am..BUT have the laptop with
me.& I would have to give temp.custody to them willingly.But he
would have to also...but he wont...So,they would have to prove he
is a unfit father..Its alot with that..:(

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Are u
still on Inner?

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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hey
girl.. im on here now

....

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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is
there anything i can do to help u ?

i mean from here i
can only type on here to u and pray that u will b ok.. one day to
the next..

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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ok!.glad your on....hey today was ok I mostly just attended to
Isabella.My parents called didnt get to speak to them.Im planning
to call them back tmr.How are u tonight?

November 19, 2010
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innerturmoil
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hi
girl.. i might can stay up another 1/2 hour...

im soooo tired.. i
got some 'drama' goin on round here 2.. ... but i dont wana talk
bout that i just wana make sure u r ok...

hope u can get bak
on..

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Ummmm..i wish I could share my personal info.But I I know..we
cant...I will just have to accept the post and support from a
far.Thank u..just being here so I wont feel all alone...Like a big
sis I never had....this is just so HARD

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Thanks for being here..hope at your house things get
better.

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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innerturmoil
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awww

thanks everything
is quiet here now, sons asleep, husband out in garage, and bf is
occupied w his gf.. lol

what can i do ,, i
wish i could get ur info also but against rules.. i
know..

do we need a code
system ? lol

awww, ty i feel
like ur 'bib sister' 🙂

November 19, 2010
12:00 am
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KareLoveLy
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Oh,ok.lol & least its quiet there.I swear he just have to
have the tv up soooo loud.The surround sound echos from
downstairs.geesh..& yes,we def.need a code..I mean I wish I can
give u ummm..email atleast..lets see Code..hmmm...thanks for making
me smile.Wats the code?...;)

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