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to him
January 26, 2005
4:39 pm
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ILSILS
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January 26, 2005
4:44 pm
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ILSILS
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thank you for never being there for me when i needed your support,
thank you for falling asleep the day our daughter was born,thank you for staying asleep through all the things i endured alone,for all the times we were broke because you baught drugs,for all the times you yelled at me, the times you were drunk and acted crazy,the times you slammed the door, the times you threw things, the times you manipulated me, the times you lied, and there were many, the times you belittled me infrom of your friends, the times you did it infront of my friends, the time you yelled at me to shut up because i was throwing up and disturbing your sleep, the times you would yell at me to shut the baby up when you were sleeping, the times you never showed up, the times you never made me feel apreciated, all the nit picking, thank you for all the dreams you laughed at,the mess you made, the fear you installed, the hurt you caused,
thanks for being such a crappy father, thanks for never reading your daughter a story, thanks for being so mean. thanks for everything!

January 26, 2005
4:50 pm
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Anonymous
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ILSILS,

I can feel the heated anger and bitterness in your words. I sincerely hope I don't piss you off with what I'm about to say...

You may not believe me now, but there will come a time in your life when you will be able to say "thanks" and mean it. Not "thanks" to him, but "thanks" to life because you are chosing another path away from abuse, violence and sickness. Had your man not been the way he has been, you may never have sought a fruitful and healthy path for yourself and your child.

I know you are hurting now and you have every right to feel angry. He was terrible to you and no one should treat another person that way. I guess what I'm getting at is that you could have made a different choice. You could fall in with another abuser. You could choose to take your child down a horrific path of constant abuse and shame--but you aren't. You are changing things and for that, I give you thanks.

Love,

Ren'ai

January 26, 2005
4:52 pm
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ILSILS
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thank you ren,
just had to do a little reminding myself of why.

January 26, 2005
5:12 pm
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ILSILS
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but ofcourse i keep rewarding this behavior by thinking and giving him the benefit of the doubt that he will be better, some of the things change but some never do

January 26, 2005
5:14 pm
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tracylyn
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I don't know if it helps right now, but leaving my husband was the best thing I could do for my kids. He was controlling and angry. He was also a workaholic, never time for me or the kids. He didn't read to them, sing them to sleep, help get them dressed. I'd have to get myself and 3 kids ready while he stood in the doorway screaming at me cause we were going to be late!!!

Anyway, he now sees the kids every other week end. So only 4 days a month unless he makes the effort to see them more. (which I always encourage) 4 days doesn't sound like much but it's 4 days of quality time. Time that he HAS to be dad cause mom's not around. They are closer to him now then when we were married. Leaving him, actually made him have to step up and be a dad.

t

January 26, 2005
5:18 pm
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Anonymous
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ILSILS,

"Never" is a long time.

The fact is that things are changing for you. Whether you see it or not, you have made a choice to get out of this relationship. It will happen now, or later but it will happen.

Love,

Ren'ai

January 26, 2005
5:56 pm
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ILSILS
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chaio for now all see you tom.
thank you for all the kind words, im so glad we are all here for one another

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