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to heisthe1
September 26, 2003
11:03 pm
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darth
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September 27, 2010
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HELLO, thanks for the reply, my answer I want to stay clean and sober. I would do anything to make this relationship work again.I am very patient, I guess my biggest problem is the lonliness that comes along with all of this. The recovery process is and has been as painful as the addiction process only in real time.Is there more that she needs from me, please help.I miss her.
I feel sometimes as though she brought some of this into the relationship, it hasnt been all my baggage, she picked me subconsciously for what she neeed, I fed her what she neeed subconsciously, my drinking was not an issue early on in our relationship.But as she began to shut me out it got worse, mostly because I was afraid,I suggested therapy two years before this all went bad but she would not consider it. She knew how to handle and control her life. Fear is my biggest enemy. By the way our relationship never got physically violent it was me lashing out at her to give me my life back.And get back into the relationship.

September 26, 2003
11:31 pm
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unhappy camper
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September 30, 2010
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Darth....I know fear is your big enemy. My husband's too. It will be the death of him.

Like any phobia, learning how you feel and why and how....will all help you to overcome it.

There are some wonderful counselor, therapists, self-help books and medications and groups....you can avail yourself of it all as your own pace.

YOU are worth it. Please do that for YOU.

September 26, 2003
11:34 pm
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darth
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I think I am absorbing to much information and am unable to process it all, this is a new field to me. Trying to jam all that I read all that I learn into my very small brain has created as many questions as I have found answers, and the answers unfortunately are seldom clear and black and white.

September 27, 2003
9:20 am
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unhappy camper
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How about making some notes.

There are some real verbal gems offered here. Why not read through the threads and jot down all the good phrases and ideas that could apply to your situation.

Keep it by your bed and study them.

Put an X beside any that you want to discuss here.

Put a copy in your wallet.

These can be the basis for change. Then move on when you can.

BTW, it won't be in a straight line.

You will zig-zag all over the place, but if you don't stop, you WILL get from point A to point B.

🙂

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