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Tight belly blues go away
June 20, 2008
11:28 am
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through_the_fire
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Thanks so much to everyone who responded to my thread "Oh crap..." How can I express how helpful and supportive and thought provoking you all are? Thank you.

Brace Man is doing his hand rehab, sending out resumes, feeling better and positive. He's glad he turned away from his brush with Vicodin.

I, on the other hand, have this tightness in my belly like I'm watching with my gut. I've never felt like this with him before. I've always been able to concentrate well on whatever I have to do. In fact, the first summer of our meeting and falling in love, I wrote my 100 page tenure portfolio in his presence, bit by bit, on the beach. No drama, no worry, just concentration of purpose.

I don't want to relapse as a co-dependent. It's funny, but in focusing on his slip, or on "dealing with" his slip, I can forget and slip into the ways that are so familar to me.
Those ways have nothing to do with what he does or doesn't do. They are my side of the street. They are the ways in which I still try to control, even if I'm not speaking or appearing to control. This takes my concentration and sense of purpose from me.

Do you know what I mean?

Fire

June 20, 2008
11:34 am
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through_the_fire
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My goodness-- it just occurred to me that I need to further develop a sense of safety for myself, within myself, separate from anyone. Mary I believe, said this on the Oh crap thread.

I thought I had come quite a long ways with that sense of safety, but this shows me what much more I have to do.

Fire

June 20, 2008
11:49 am
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Celtic1
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(((Fire)))

It is a continuing journey. We are never completed because it is part of who we are...

YOU CAN and WILL MOVE FORWARD. Name it to tame it..... ;0)

Celtic

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