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Thumkin.....
November 1, 2006
12:35 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Just trying to check on you hon and see how you are doing....Miss you. I do hope all is well....

November 2, 2006
11:15 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Just checking on you, where are you sweetie? How are ya doin'? Haven't heard from you in a few days...What have you been up to?

November 2, 2006
2:22 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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My daughter is watching a baby story and it is making me sad....You understand this....where are you at? I miss you..

November 2, 2006
2:36 pm
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thumkin
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Scared

Sorry I have not been here. I know watching baby story is unexplainably horrible. I cannot watch it without tears streaming down my face and my heart aching.

I have been so busy and stressed here lately its not even funny. I feel like I am on the verge of going crazy. Last Sunday my 13 yr old daughters teacher called me and told me that there were rumors my daughter was going to kill herself this weekend. I knew she has been so unhappy but I was floored. We both cried a whole bunch. I called in sick Monday and all my kids skipped school Monday. They were out of school on Tuesday and Wednesday. Today was her first day back so I am anxious to get home and find out how she is. I talked to her teacher and her principal on Tuesday, took her to the family doctor and a counselor. I am praying that something helps her to be happier. Work and the rest of my family are stressing me out. I just really want to quit and run away. It is so hard, just a daily struggle. But I am forcing myself to go on because as soon as I lay down I am not sure I would get back up. I have been in court all week long so I am behind on everything else so I will probably be out for the most part of the rest of this week. I hope to get a break and be able to breathe again by next week. I am just SOOOO Stressed.

November 2, 2006
2:44 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I am so sorry about your daughter..Do you have any idea what is hurting her so bad that she wants to die? Did she admit that is true, she was thinking about that. Oh, tuhmkin, I am so sorry. Don't give up sweetie...Your baby needs you. I am so glad that I was looking for you, I am glad that I was able to find you. You know you don't have to carry this all alone. Talk to us, talk to me. I care about you very much. I will be holding you close. Have you heard any more about the job possiblity at the shelter? Thinking about you lots...if you need ANYTHING, you come find me sweetie. Don't do this all alone.

November 2, 2006
3:22 pm
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thumkin
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She has been so unhappy. I have cried on my b/f shoulder and my moms and her dads for the last year on what I could do to boost her self esteem and help her be happier. Some of the kids in her class are very mean to her and she extends it to the whole class hates her, she has no friends. Part of her problems are real, normal adolescent things, while the other part are an exaggeration. She holds so much inside and will not talk until it gets so bad she explodes. I have been on her for months (not in a bad way) trying to explain to her how she has to talk to someone, it is unhealthy to hold it all in like that. She of course throws it back in my face Like you do mom. I know and I am trying to do better so that she can come out of this and find happiness. She is too young to even know what suicide is. I hate it. She did tell me that she would not commit suicide, she does not have the courage and is too curious about what tomorrow would bring to do that but I am still scared to death. She is my baby no matter how old she is or how big she is.

I have not heard on the job yet. I am still hopeful cuz the lady said the end of this week or next week before we would hear back from her so my fingers are still crossed.

At school friday she had a detention and part of thier detention is to write on something out of the encyclopedia and she chose to write on suicide. I asked her teacher where that paper was and she said that she threw it away without ever looking to see what it was about. I so wish she would not have thrown that away.

I dont think my baby is in imminent danger of doing that but I do believe it was a cry for help and for that I am thankful cuz if she would have just kept it in without talking it could have happened that her curiosity for what tomorrow might bring would fade away and then I would lose my baby and God knows I could not handle that.

November 2, 2006
3:56 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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You love her, and i can hear your pain, and I am so sorry. (((thumkin))) Just hold her, and love her. SHE NEEDS YOU. I referred to her as your baby because I agree, age means nothing, they are still your babies. That is how I refer to mine when I am worried about them or whatever too. You ARE a good mom, I can hear it, and I can see it. Don't doubt that. I am right here with you. Don't lose hope...I wish I could just hug you. Cyber hugs is all you get, but it is there. I am keeping you and your daughter close in thought, and in my heart.

November 2, 2006
4:06 pm
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thumkin
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Thank you so much. It means a lot, just having someone to talk to about it.

November 2, 2006
4:17 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I am usually around, please don't hesitate. If you don't want to talk don't. I have learned to not push. BUT, just know that I am here, and I care very much. You are a good person thumkin, don't ever forget that. If you weren't a good mom, this wouldn't all be bugging you. I care and I am here, I guess that is the bottom line...

(((thumkin)))

Love, Mich

November 8, 2006
11:24 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Thinking about you...hoping you are well.

Scared

November 10, 2006
11:22 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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November 13, 2006
11:02 am
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thumkin
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Scared,

I am here. Not altogether well. Right now I am so stressed and depressed and unsure about everything. Wishing the answers were easy. Staying very busy at work which is a lot of the stress. Just wanting it to all go away and leave me alone. I need help. But have no one to help me. I dont want help from my family. I am tired of the way they look at me. I am tired of them thinking I am making so many mistakes and am beneath them. Of course they think I am beneath myself too.

But thankyou for thinking of me. Just coming on here and seeing that you put my name on there and were thinking of me meant alot. Truly it does.

I hope you are doing better. I have been happy to see that you and the sisterhood have such a great bond. You all really seem to have a great thing going.

November 13, 2006
11:15 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Thunkin,

I am sorry that things aren't going well. Is there anything that I can do? Anything that you want to talk about? I can listen...! I know that I don't always offer the best advice, but I always listen, or at least try to. Did you ever hear back about that job yet? How is your daughter doing?

Just because I don't always hear from you certainly doesn't mean that I am not thinking about you. You worry me. I am sorry that your family treats you so poorly. I wish they could see the thumkin that I do. You are a sweet caring individual with a good heart. I wish that you could see that. I know how hard it is though. I am the same way. Feel like a failure, and MOST of it is due to things that people say that shouldn't even really matter to me. Please know that I am here for you. You can start a thread to me whenever you want. I am usually around. Most days in and out, but I typically appear somewhere. I care about you, and I want to be here for you.

Yes the sisters are a VERY tight group. You are welcome to post over there to me or any of us. There are NO special requirements to be there. Promise. We are just a group of people that care a lot about each other. I am going to re-post to you what I posted to jas last week in just a minute. Just read it and think about it.

November 13, 2006
11:15 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Thunkin,

I am sorry that things aren't going well. Is there anything that I can do? Anything that you want to talk about? I can listen...! I know that I don't always offer the best advice, but I always listen, or at least try to. Did you ever hear back about that job yet? How is your daughter doing?

Just because I don't always hear from you certainly doesn't mean that I am not thinking about you. You worry me. I am sorry that your family treats you so poorly. I wish they could see the thumkin that I do. You are a sweet caring individual with a good heart. I wish that you could see that. I know how hard it is though. I am the same way. Feel like a failure, and MOST of it is due to things that people say that shouldn't even really matter to me. Please know that I am here for you. You can start a thread to me whenever you want. I am usually around. Most days in and out, but I typically appear somewhere. I care about you, and I want to be here for you.

Yes the sisters are a VERY tight group. You are welcome to post over there to me or any of us. There are NO special requirements to be there. Promise. We are just a group of people that care a lot about each other. I am going to re-post to you what I posted to jas last week in just a minute. Just read it and think about it.

November 13, 2006
11:20 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Sorry about the double post there...Her is what I wrote to Jas. Just think about it. You are always welcome to go over there.

Here in these threads you have what has become a VERY large group of women who all care VERY much about each other. We have NEVER denied anyone the right to be a "sister."

But when we just feel like we need to be held, we are. When we need someone to back us up, we have that. When we need to whine, piss and moan, we have that as well. When we want to laugh (and sometimes even when we don't want to laugh) it is here. We have all gotten VERY close, we talk about EVERYTHING. We have a thread song....we have a thread afghan..Now that afghan was brought about one night when one of us was having a horrible night and Cyndra offered her afghan...it has been around since...We have a thread couch, that is where we sit to have some of these conversations that are tough. We get a little "pushy" sometimes, but the word "sorry" is very rarely accepted here. We all give opinions, I even offered for my sisters to babysit my three month old last night. It was fun to watch them fight over who got him first. Naturally, LL, the BULLY used her being the oldest as an excuse to get him first, and the other girls conceded. But this is a great place. If you are looking for a friend, a place to be comfortable, and all kinds of things, you are in the right place. Jas, youa re welcome here, just as anyone else would be. If you can stand us...stick around. You have all the things that go along with true relationships...misunderstandings, failure to respond, and even a couple of arguments...but we ALWAYS have each other in the end. That is what makes this place special. We really have no one in the outside world that understands us, so here we have basically a support group of sisters. Love to you Jas...and I hope to see you around on our threads here.

Mich

November 13, 2006
4:07 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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How are you holding up sweet thing?

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