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Thought-proving quote
September 6, 2002
3:45 pm
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Morgann
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I'm curious about something, and I'd love to hear your opinions. I have this book on recovery, and in it, there's an article by Ozzy Osbourne (and this book came out long before "The Osbournes" aired on MTV, so I don't want that to be a distraction...or loss of credibility), but he had a quote that went something like this: (referring to his addictions) "If I lost my leg in an accident, I wouldn't want to sit around talking about how awful it is that I lost my [f-ing] leg. I'd want to go out there and learn to live without it."

The reason I bring this up is because I wonder if you reach a point where talking about the past does nothing more than keep the pain fresh. At what point do you choose to just forge ahead and quit talking about the pains in your life: whether from abuse, alcoholism, loss of a loved one, etc.

I just wonder if sometimes therapy and counseling is an excuse for dwelling. We might not call it that, and we might not want to believe it's true, but isn't that what we're doing? We call it "working through our problems" or "talking it out", but how helpful is it to continue rehashing the past and putting it under a microscope? At what point should you just learn to say, "hey, I lost my leg...now it's time to get on with it?"

Any thoughts?

September 6, 2002
4:00 pm
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Morgann
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hmmm...that title should have said "thought-provoking". And I used to call myself a decent proofreader. LOL!

September 6, 2002
5:19 pm
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gingerleigh
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Depends on how long you're in therapy I would say! Spending 20 years in therapy recovering from an incident that took 5 minutes *might* be a little extreme, ya know? But, it varies by individual. The whole idea behind talking it out and working through our problems is to eventually come out the other side and move on, leaving the problems in the past. It's a balance, giving the problems the attention they need, and then moving on and saying "OK, I'm done with that". Dwelling on it isn't good, and a good therapist should encourage someone to get the issues out and lay them to rest, and recognize when therapy transforms from working through a problem to dwelling on it. But, just swallowing something without processing it can be dangerous too, especially where anger is involved, because then it comes out in sideways, crazy-making behavior. Know what I mean?

A lot of quotes can be misleading too... I wonder what Ozzy would have said if he really had lost his [f-ing] leg? Hmmm...

Interesting discussion, I like it. What do you think, Morgann?

September 6, 2002
5:33 pm
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Ladeska
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It's going such an individual answer for each and every person. Sometimes something that takes place in "5" minutes can really and truly mess up a person for a lifetime. Depends on what it is and how it impacts the person and how they are built emotionally and psychologically. So many elements involved....

The same thing can happen to someone else and they get over it - like that.

I think we just have to ask the question of ourself and answer it - to ourself about "us" and that's about as good as it gets. We can't answer for all these other people and shouldn't try.

September 6, 2002
11:17 pm
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nattie
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Hey Morgann,
I really thought about what you were saying about just dealing with the issue and moving on. I go to therapy and never considered that I keep the issue fresh.

If I lost a leg I would have to deal with it yes, learn to live with the fact that the leg was gone. But In my case with my childhood issues it's very subconscious, I have anxiety, panic attack, insomnia and I can't seem to deal like everyone else. I have social anxiety and I'm depressed. Dealing with a loss of a leg is permenant, it's obvious of the problem and you have to learn to walk again and deal with it. But with the other issues they creep up everyday, I guess it's like if ya lost the leg and the pain of the leg kept bothering you. Inside pain is very different, it hurts deep inside your heart and soul. Everyday is a struggle to get things done sometimes and you don't even know what's wrong. Atleast loosing a leg is an issue to deal with, but with other problems like anxiety you have no clue what's bothering you and how to fix it. Just thinking...good topic.

September 7, 2002
1:35 pm
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irishlass
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I have often thought that myself..but not having been in ongoing therapy..maybe i should have..i can't quite provide an educated answer with respect to both sides of the fence...I do believe that some individuals get so dependent on their psychologists, thereapists, etc., that they get forever stuck in the zone of never letting go and getting on. I believe it depends on whether you have a good shrink or a bad one. A good one will cut you loose when he/she sees positive progression..that would be reasonable to me. A friend of mine sees a shrink twice a week and she believes she is getting the help she needs but I don't think anyone around her that cares about her sees this, though. She is still stuck...not getting better. But then again it is a very individual frame of reference...Should there be a time frame on psychanalysis??

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