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thought I would share....rising
May 24, 2007
3:05 am
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courage to change
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Lorelei

Ditto what you have just said. I guess somehow I was trying to say this in my response, but did not come across as well as you put it.

Its so healthy, to get wonderful advise like that. Great to hear. Just reaffirms, that I will keep on living my life as the above.

Thank you.xx

May 24, 2007
8:28 am
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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hey guys...yes, I put thought into my safety net.

one - rents are inexpensive and abundant here...if the living situation does not work out, I have plenty of options and none of them will hurt me financially.

two - in living with him, I will have $1000 extra in cash each month. I have agreed to pay $500 into an account that will fund our renovations next year. The rest is mine. I could offer more, but I want a nest egg. Once my bills are paid in January, I will have $1500 extra a month...so I will be able to put away $1000 a month for my nest egg.

three - if, BIG IF, we separate, I have no doubt that he will support the child and be an active participant in the phsyical and financial support.

four - I have his social security number, date of birth and all that - so if he bails (which he won't)...I can get support thru the courts.

I had NONE of this when I had my daughter.

I also have a career that is flexible and will allow for any time off, even work from home if needed.

I did think long and hard about moving in with him....the pros and cons.

And basically, the financial gains was a pretty big bonus. But also, I feel more comfortable around his family and feel he is ready for that level of commitment.

He won't run - he owns 86 acres and a home that is bought and paid for. And his commitment to this kid is extremely strong. He lost his dad when he was 18 - he is not going to abandon this child.

Now - if we don't work out...I think we can work things out so that everyone is cared for properly.

I have my safety net...like I said, I put alot of thought into this choice before making it.

I hear everyone echoing the same sentiment...which is totally understandable...including my own family and friends that live in CT.

HOWEVER....the friends that live here...who know him and see the changes in him...totally stand by us and think this is the right thing...they see how much he has changed and they think this is what he needed to prompt him to "grow up" and "step up"...tho he was stepping up before we even talked about a child.

It's hard to see that from a distance, so I understand the concerns.

I didn't go into this blindly.

My first daughter was a total surprise and I was not prepared.

I am prepared for this child and looking forward to him or her.

May 24, 2007
8:53 am
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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Loralei,

I don't think I would EVER become dependent on a man...that's one of my negative traits really.

Cuz I don't trust a guy to take care of me...nor do I feel worthy of being taken care of.

I will always have a way to support myself...that's for certain.

May 24, 2007
10:37 am
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smarterone
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congratulatings and good luck.

May 24, 2007
11:42 am
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sleepless in uk
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Congratulations Rising.

Always lovely to hear of a new little life. I wish you a safe and happy pregnancy and a lovely healthy baby...take care

May 26, 2007
4:19 pm
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StronginHim77
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By the way, how is your pregnancy? Are you battling any morning sickness or are you feeling OK? Please fill us in. Every pregnancy is different, so I am hoping that this is a simple, uncomplicated pregnancy for you.

- Ma

May 27, 2007
10:29 am
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risingfromtheashes
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Ma,

I am fighting some swelling of the angkles...too soon to be anything of concern...I think I am not getting enough water in.

My breasts are VERY tender and swollen, tho I remember that with my daughter too.

I had some early cramping...stabbling pains, but hear that's normal and it's resolved now.

Weight gain and a belly already, tho I am overweight to begin with.

NO NO NO morning sickness...so far anyway...going into week 6...so it may start soon. Some heartburn, but I have that anyway.

My only REAL complaint, besides the breast tenderness is my EXHAUSTION. I get winded easily...my heart races...and I am tired alot. I think my age has alot to do with that.

Overall, I think I am doing pretty good tho....the lack of nausea is nice and I pray it continues.

We have already picked a girls name - Sara Anne....a boy's name is a little elusive....which makes me think I am having another girl, tho daddy wants a boy.

We go for first ultrasound on June 20. We plan to find out the sex when we can...so we can prepare.

My best friend gave me a beautiful heart quilt, some bootie socks and some chocolates for me...she is so sweet...my mom, despite her previous disappointment with the news, has started shopping for grandbaby number 2 already too.

My dad was very rude about the news...so we are trying to figure a way for me to see my mom this August WITHOUT my dad...instead of going to Florida, where I can't avoid him....she may come north here, so we can spend one on one time together. I am feeling well with him so far away, I really don't need to put myself in the line of fire. I also warned my daughter to stay out of the middle of things when she goes down there for the summer. I have a feeling he will talk shit about me, especially about the baby, considering he knows she isn't happy about it.

The last thing I need is for him to talk her into moving down there with them...I won't stand for that.

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