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This site has changed from one yr ago...
November 22, 2006
9:18 pm
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snowlover
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Need,

Tell us whats going on, and whats causing you to be so upset right now. maybe some of us have been there and can offer some sort of help for you.

Hugs,
Snow

November 22, 2006
9:20 pm
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clownface
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Need~

What's going on? Have you heard from PS again? I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. I know you will get through this. Are you cooking for Thanksgiving? I hope you have plans and will be with someone you care about tomorrow.

November 22, 2006
9:23 pm
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needtoheal
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thanks for the hugs.. I have followed the Charmer thread and Ladeska's words have helped me a lot in keeping things in perspective...

November 22, 2006
9:29 pm
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snowlover
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Need,

I know how hard this is, belive me i do. I battle with it everyday. But the day will come, I promise you, that you will truly realize that you are worth soooooo much more than what he did to you, and you will be able to walk away from that, and know in your heart he will never hurt you again.

It just takes time sweetie. Ive been doing this with T for 20 YEARS, and Im the last to tell anyone they need to just "get over it", cuz it just aint that easy sometimes. But it will happen, I promise you that.

Snow

November 22, 2006
9:40 pm
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needtoheal
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I know it takes time.. I had been married for over 10 years and my ex-husband had left.. He did not want anything to do with me but yet he still could not completely walk away so I ended it.. I know these feelings will pass.. However, I was not this depressed at the demise of my marriage.. I am fine with the kids.. they are what gives me the strength to start a new day..

November 22, 2006
9:43 pm
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snowlover
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I understand that too Need. I was married for 13 years and was able to get over my divorce a lot easier then I have been able to with T the weenie!!

This is a raw wound still, and of course its hurting you. Plus, with the holidays, it just makes it more painful, and we all understand that.

Snow

November 22, 2006
9:47 pm
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needtoheal
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My kids are having what they call a NEW YEAR'S EVE celebration tonight... staying up late since there is no school.. They bring me sunshine on my darkest days.. and I am grateful to have such wonderful kids..they are a blessing.. so it is difficult for me because I have to be strong.. thanks for responding Snow..

November 22, 2006
9:47 pm
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cyndra820
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Need~ I wondered the same thing. I've found it very hard to let the "idea" of FIB go. It was easier to throw my husband out and divorce him than it has been with this two year relationship. I'm thinking that, for me, I hold on to it because I don't know if there is someone else out there for me.

So if PS is the source of this agony, I completely understand.

(((Need)))

November 22, 2006
9:49 pm
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snowlover
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Youre a great Mom Need. I see the stories you tell about the wonderful things you do with your boys. No matter whats going on, you make them #1, and you make sure theyre happy.

That right there is something that should make you feel VERY special and important sweetie!!

Snow

November 22, 2006
10:02 pm
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clownface
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I did not have near as much difficulty ending a 21yr marriage as I have had ending this 6 yr tulmultuous relationship. The first produced 3 children. You would think it would be the other way around.

I think like Cyn, maybe there is NO one else out there for me. I am not a spring chicken here, the pickins are slim at my age!! But is it worth just settling for companionship???

November 22, 2006
10:24 pm
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needtoheal
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that is what my doctor talked to me about yesterday.. Maybe I am sad because I think that there may not be another person out there to be with. I admitted that is how I have felt..

thanks Snow for the compliments as a mother..

November 23, 2006
1:24 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Bumping for mama to read

November 23, 2006
4:02 am
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alycia
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I am back and to some degree after reading all the replies i dont know where to begin.

I think i will begin by reassuring jenni that i meant no harm in saying i see friendships forming, of course thats going to happen on a support site.

I had originally set out to make two points and the first was i felt sad for need to be singled out and told that her sisters enjoy chatting to her but somedays they want her to leave them alone, (obviously not said like that but you get my point)

I honestly dont know how else to word it...

I would like to know how need is meant to be a psychic and know when she can chat to them and when she can't... I am sorry i commented on that but i felt sorry for a user on this site being singled out like that.... that is when it is becoming cliquey, that is what i meant......

I also said i do think they are taking it a bit far, if you read what lolli has added in then that is what i meant in regard to that comment....

In some ways i am sorry that i did put my feelings down here cause i see people leaving, people asking why its all happened etc etc...

In reading all thats been said, snows comments and lolli's actually were the ones that i completely agreed with, not to say i didn't agree with other people but i know that at least two people knew what i was trying to say...

Sbd and jenni, i am sorry i named names. Please continue in your chats and i have seen jenni chat to numerous people, you both have...

Mich, i am sorry that i did say how i feel, i know you reply to loads of people and it was never about that.

I am sorry its gone too far where people have spoken of leaving, someone did say, how could i be so cruel so to speak and print this, i agree i should have kept my opinion to myself.....

I am glad everyone has replied in such a respectful way and i hope we all can move on from me expressing my opinion.......i am sorry to those who have taken my words far too hard.......

November 23, 2006
5:57 am
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dereka
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Hi I am sorry i dont know if anyone is still reading this but I do feel a little left out a couple of people have posted me but I cant help feeling this way sorry but thought it would be better posting it than keeping it to myself.

November 23, 2006
7:00 am
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sleepless in uk
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Hi Dereka...welcome abouard. Its good to see you here....

love from one Brit to another...Us Brits have to stand together sometimes!!!!

November 23, 2006
7:08 am
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lollipop3
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(((alycia)))

November 23, 2006
9:57 am
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cyndra820
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Alycia~

When I read your last post I couldn't decide if I wanted to say anything. I don't think you meant to be insulting, but calling us a clique was just that.

I don't know how much of the threads you read, of if you even saw that Mich had apologized to Need. I'm guessing you didn't or you didn't see it as an apology. I don't know. You didn't acknowledge it so I'm going to go with you didn't see it.

Sometimes when people are in an emotional downward spiral they aren't always paying attention to what they write or say. Mich was in a really horrible place then.

I've shared some of Snow's concerns and was even woman enough to apologize to Lolli for lashing out at her when she only meant good. I've always respected and liked Lolli so I wasn't dismissing what she was saying entirely.

All points have merit. SBD has said he isn't sure the chatty threads belong here. The SC has asked us to go to the other side. I've started a thread there for the Sisters. We did feel attacked because as innocuous as our thread is we were asked to leave, but someone can tell someone to kill themselves and no one blinks. That shocked the hell out of me. I don't understand that. Can you explain that to me?

If our healing was of concern to you you could have addressed us. You chose to air it in this way and quite a few others joined in. I appreciated the way Kroika chose to handle it on her own thread, and I appreciate her concern.

My chosing to leave is more about not wanting to have to deal with this again. Recovery is difficult enough without having to be wary of what is said about something that's been written. I have a long road to go and welcomed the friends I've made here. I will miss them because I do not expect them to give this up.

It is a valuable tool, as Turnabout said, it is not a crutch for me. I was a tool for me to be able to have a safe place to discuss what happened to me when I was overwhelmed. It gave me a place to share what little knowledge I have.

I am not perfect. I will make mistakes and I will continue to learn from them. I have learned a valuable lesson from you. Thank you.

May God bless you and keep you.

Regards,
Cyndra

November 23, 2006
11:39 am
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dereka
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hello Sleepless in uk 🙂 How are you today?

November 23, 2006
11:50 am
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atalose
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Hi Dereka,
I'm sorry you feel left out at times here but I can understand how you feel.

Sometimes I read posts that catch my eye and sometimes I tend to just go back to the ones I know I've replied to. For me, often I just don't get the chance on a daily basis to read through everything.

I have been around here since last June, I still don't know everyone and at times when people haven't posted in a while I forget there stories and that makes me feel bad. Sometimes people come and go so quickly, it's hard.

At times I read but don't always post because I don't have anything to offer or I feel down and don't want to project my emotions on someone else.

I also leared that you take what you want and leave the rest. Some advise others have received that have helped me a great deal, then there is advise that I just don't agree withand keep my opions to myself.

I'm glad you are here and hope you stay around....happy holiday!!!!

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

November 23, 2006
1:16 pm
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dereka
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Thankyou thats really sweet, Its so nice when you get a reply I can understand about feel bad not remembering things and not knowing everyone and their stories because I do too and feel really guilty and then I feel selfish Blah blah blah I am going on lol. Thankyou atalose for making me feel welcome again x

Dereka Happy Holidays to you

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