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This is messed up, I'm sick of creepy guys, booze and drugs
April 1, 2007
5:09 am
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Tonight I was up very very late (4am) working on a project. All of a sudden I heard some loud noises and yelling. My dog got nervous and barked which she never does. This girl was saying "STOP IT, NO!" Naturally, this was disturbing. I opened the door and she was on the floor naked with platform shoes in her hand half wrapped in a towel shoving stuff in her bag frantically. Then some guy came out trying to get her to come back in. This guy was not even my neighbor. The security guy downstairs said the guy I didn't recognize was my neighbor's friend and the girl was drunk when she came in. I figured they must have picked her up somewhere. At first I thought she was a call girl but I don't know, it struck me as someone who got caught up in something she wasn't expecting.

He was trying to make her be quiet, and I said "Is she alright?" he said "Yes" but I didn't believe him so I asked her. She said she was but seemed edgy. Maybe she was coked up and/or drunk, but what the hell? The guy was fully dressed. Then they went back in the room and again the banging and the "Stop it" "Stop doing that" started. My intercom wasn't working so I had to go downstairs myself. They called upstairs and told them they would call the police.

Well, my intent was not to make a noise complaint but to make sure this girl was okay. I hope the security people realized this. Honestly, I don't believe she was okay, but what more can you do?

Did I do the right thing? It made me feel weird. Should I have ignored it? Minded my own business? I've lived in NYC long enough, this sort of thing used to happen on the regular where I used to live, but not here.

It shook me up for many reasons, one being that it reminded me of my old life. Another because I believe my neighbor and his friend are real creeps.

I'm sick of scenes like that.

April 1, 2007
7:33 am
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lollipop3
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Ella,

I absolutley think you did the right thing.

Regardless of what her reasons were for being there....something was obviously happening to her that she didn't want to be happening.

(((ella)))

Lolli

April 1, 2007
7:41 am
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lovinglife
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mzrella~ you done good. Most people don't like to get invovled with others 'problems' and because it was more of 'a problem' verses just a noise complaint - at least you brought it the the attention of someone whose job it is to handle whatever you complained about.

Guess the only thing you could have done was called the police yourself. But think you did the right thing for you reading just how upsetting it all was on you in the first place- if you would have called the police yourself-you might be experiencing even more upset- the worry, the whatever and gotten even more invovled perhaps by having to give a statment of something.

Hope you are feeling less shook up than when you were writing the post.

(((Mzrella)))

April 1, 2007
7:57 am
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Rasputin
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Ella~ My heart tells me that you've done something virtuous & altruistic. Bless you! If only we had a sufficient number of folks like you, the world would have become a better place. (((Love you)))

April 1, 2007
9:39 am
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Robert123
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It doesn't hurt to err on the side of caution. If you did nothing and you found out later she was being hurt your feelings would likely be totally different. I would have done something similar if that was me.

April 1, 2007
10:36 pm
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southgoingzax
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I think you did what was right...maybe you could have done more, but you might have put yourself at risk.

Once I was driving home after visiting my bf (he lives 50 miles away, so I was passing through one of several small towns I drive through to get home (I live in Colorado - nothing like NYC). Anyway, it was nearly two in the morning, and I drove past a girl walking down the road in a towel. It took a second or two to sink in and I had to do a U-turn and go back - yep, that's what I saw....I stopped and asked her if she was okay - she got in the car, she was very disoriented, she didn't know what town she was in, she wouldn't tell me what happened (or didn't know) but she kept saying it was her fault. I didn't have a cell phone at the time and couldn't find a payphone...so I finally was able to get directions out of her and drive her to a friend's house - she got out of the car and ran sobbing inside - they didn'[t have a phone there either, so I had to drive home and call the police. Of course, there was nothing they could do at that point, but the girl seemed as if she had been drugged and likely raped, and she should have been taken to the hospital and had a rape kit done....I asked her repeatedly if I could call the police and she said no. I was scared, and i didn't know what else to do, but I didn't want to leave her in my car to find a phone - she seemed so dazed I thought she might run off if she knew I called the police. I wish I had done more. The next day her father called to thank me for picking her up, but I don't think she told him what really happened, if she remembered. It's so awful to see these young girls blaming themselves for crimes committed against them.

I was shaken up for days. But you did what you could, so try to take heart in that - the girl likely wouldn't have told you the truth of what was going on or gone with you, even if she hadn't been on drugs.

zax

April 2, 2007
1:07 am
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Thanks for the replies because I was feeling kind of weird today. I was not satisfied with the night building employee's response last night. They were treating it like a noise complaint. I spoke this morning to the guy that I know that works here, he is very fatherly and was very concerned. I told him I didn't care at all about noise- if it were people having a good time listing to music or something, I never would have said a thing. It was just not right. Still, I felt like I was putting myself where I didn't belong, but frankly I wish more people cared when I was living that kind of life.

Maybe that girl knows the guys, I don't know. But there are other girls in there at times. Whatever their social lives entail is not my problem until it sounds like someone is getting hurt. Just weird. And that she apologized to me? I didn't get it.

I still don't understand a scenario that makes sense that ended up that way. Best I can come up with is that they picked up a drunk girl, told her she could take a shower to get sober, she passed out in the bathroom, and woke up not knowing who they were. Still didn't make sense, also, I think she was back there tonight so go figure. I saw one of the guys and he shook his head at me. What an indignant ass. He's hardly in the position to disapprove of my reaction knowing how bad that looked for him, and that he doesn't even live here.

No way would that girl have told me the truth. I know what it's like. It's embarassing the next day too. Besides, if these are guys she knows, she is insecure enough to feel like she needs them around, creepy as they are. I know what it is like to be that low too.

The reason why I didn't call the cops is because we have security in the building. Obviously, if there is a next time I might want to think about it. But with NYC cops it's always a gamble I hate to say. You have some great ones- and you have some real drips who act like you are the perpetrator rather than a victim or concerned person. That's another reason why a lot of us don't like to call them. Personally, I feel there are some instances that are worth being insulted by an ignorant person over. So I have taken my chances a few times in the past. Also, keep in mind that domestic abuse laws in NYC are strict enough so that they will arrest a battered woman if she fights back- and straighten it out later. This happened so many times to people in my old neighborhood... and to myself! The case is dismissed when you are innocent, of course, but it goes without saying that it is a very traumatic event to have the police take you away. I guess that kind of inhibited me a bit, I didn't want HER to get in trouble if it was the guy who was causing the problem. As it stands, I'm sure she's pissed that the security people were involved and so are they, not that I care about the guys.

When I moved I thought things would be peaceful. This is a high security neighborhood and building. I swear, I purposely keep a low profile around here, do not talk to my neighbors much, etc... ugh. I wish I wasn't an incurable night person. All the freaky things happen late at night.

-ella

April 2, 2007
8:41 am
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risingfromtheashes
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ella,

you did the right thing...your gut said something wasn't right.

a nekid girl in a hall, dazed and confused...guys fully dressed...shouts of stop it coming from the apartment...apparently she didn't want them to do what they were doing. NO MEANS NO.

and all at an ungodly hour...someone once told me that nothing good happens after midnight or something like that.

anyway, you did the best you could. And if security didn't do anything about it...that's their responsibility.

pay attention to your gut...it never steers you wrong.

April 2, 2007
1:17 pm
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soprano2
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Take it from someone who has been there, you did the right thing. I wish I had had somone that heard me say no.

Don't give it another thought. Even if the police went up there for a noise complaint, there is no hurt in finding out exactly what is going on.

and yes, I too am sick of creepy guys, booze and drugs.

yeah!!!! there are still heroes out there who do the right thing. Give yourself a pat on the back. And thank you from womankind for helping out a sister.

April 2, 2007
2:57 pm
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((Soprano2))

So sorry that you had a horrible experience like that.

April 2, 2007
3:23 pm
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soprano2
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Was years ago. Is part of who I am. Had a lot of therapy to figure out everything after. Can't say that you ever are "cured" from that, but all of life's experiences have helped me on the journey of who I am becoming.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I currently work in an inner city school, and I have helped several kids in the same situation throughout my time here. So, at least my experience can help me empathsize with kids who have no one else to turn to.

That's one of the reasons that I love this site so much. It's lots of people who share both knowledge and experience.

April 3, 2007
9:15 pm
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This morning I was asked if I could write a letter about the incident to the super and/or talk to him. I don't know how I feel about this. The buildings guy told me a lot of people complain about these guys and that night other people told them what happened. They told me something would be done about it, but I don't know. It will be hard to live next to this jerk after making a major complaint like that. I know I'm being selfish, but I'm tired of drama from neighbors. That is why I moved from my last building (where I was assaulted by a NEIGHBOR not a boyfriend).

I do also have my own experiences where I was on the receiving end of rough behavior and I feel bad not doing more. But I have a lot of issues going on right now... I have a feeling they won't need my letter. But do you think it is good to document it? My mother says no, stay out of trouble. I don't know.

Apparently all the noise AFTER I shut my dor that nigh was because according to one of my other neighbors: the jerk pulled this girl into the apartment by her hair. Nice guy.

-ella

April 4, 2007
11:04 am
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soprano2
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If you have mixed emotions about it, there are ways that you can document it and keep it in case they need it.

What you can do is write down the incident and then have it notarized--you can usually look in the phone book for it. It's not too expensive, and it will have a date on it so if it is needed, the people that would need it will see that it wasn't done way after the fact.

then you can hold on to it if you want and don't have to turn it in. Several lawyers have suggested this type of thing in domestic disputes.

the notary is the important part of that, otherwise, it cannot be used in any fashion if they need it.

I agree, though. It may be best to not get too involved. At the same time, your super might be having problems getting enough evidence to take care of the situation. And you might want that situation taken care of as well.

Anyway, I guess I see both sides. Good luck with your decision.

Sorry you have so much going on. Hope things settle down for you soon.
s2

April 4, 2007
5:34 pm
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Thank you soprano, that was good advice. If I wasn't having a personal crisis on my own I would get right on it! Maybe I can work on it with my handheld when I'm stuck on the bus or subway and print it when I get home. I'm just so much a mess right now about my own stuff. In a way, I wish I did call the police that night- it would have been over with.

April 5, 2007
10:10 am
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soprano2
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Yes, but I can understand your hesitation. When you have your own stuff going on, you don't necessarily need to take on other people's stuff either.

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