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thinking of proposing, any advice?
December 27, 2005
11:09 pm
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orangeboy
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i'm very pleased to say that things are going amazingly wonderful with my girl, and i'm thinkin' of seriously asking her to marry me.

we've been talking about it for sooooo long now, but neither of us has ever asked in seriousness.

i just am not sure whether it's too soon after all the drama ensued, or if it's perfect because things are going well...

December 27, 2005
11:15 pm
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orangeboy
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i'm also looking for ideas and advice on rings, 'cos i, being a man, am, like the stereotype, pretty clueless on that stuff...not on romance at all, i'm a hopeless romantic, but on jewelry and hair and clothes...

December 27, 2005
11:41 pm
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addicts wife
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((((OrangeBoy)))))))
WOW!! 😀
I think that's great!!!!
As for when where and How...Iam clueless
But as far s rings goooo...
May I suggest a Princess cut((Square))
Solitaire in white gold???
That is my personal favorit "dream " ring... NAd Im one who never thought diamonds were all that . I kinda thought they were overrated and woulda rather had a down payment on a house or perhaps my "dream appliance like a stainless steel refridgerator... BUT in some years of maturity under my proverbial belt.... that is the ring style i would really like.

Since you are also a romantic I want details of the proposal to be!!! ((I LOVE hearing those stories and plans of romancing..
Ohhh, and since things are going soo greatly, And you're thinking "it's time." I say listen to you gut& heart and go for it.
((((Bst wishs!!!)))
Luv ya'
Aw

December 28, 2005
12:07 am
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mamacinnamon
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OMG OBoy I had no clue. You sure about this? I think it's wonderful, but don't rush in when you've just gotten back together. You and she both need your time.

I agree w/ AW.. a solitare would be most fitting... then you can have an engagement time if you want to and she can help pick a wrap to complete the wedding set. It is much cheaper also and just as elegant if not more so.

Wow.... Happy New Year. Congrats to you.

December 28, 2005
12:17 am
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camra
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Orageboy, if your planning to propose to her why not propose then take her to a jewlery store and pick out an engagement ring togeather..

just an idea...

congradulations!!!

camra

December 28, 2005
1:41 am
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hopeinhim
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Totally agree with AD - a diamond solitaire in white gold - ooh, or platinum if you can afford it. But, have it have something unique about it so it is not too plain.

Let us know how it comes down!

Hope

December 28, 2005
1:43 am
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Lass
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OrangeBoy,

I would suggest premarital counseling with a pastor, the full deal.

If she has a ring that she wears on her right ring finger, and takes it off, you can either draw it on a piece of paper, or borrow it to size her left ring finger.

It is slightly more romantic to offer the ring when proposing, but you can learn a lot about one another choosing rings together, too.

I would suggest not living together first, if you at all possible, as you greatly increase your chances.

Go shop some books on marriage compatability and good communication and read them simultaneously or together. I suggest "The Five Love Languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate" by Gary Chapman.

Best of luck! And go slow! Once you start this train she goes 'til she runs out of track! It is also a good idea to offer a "Promise Ring," a promise to get engaged (a "right hand" ring.)

LL

December 28, 2005
2:15 am
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orangeboy
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thanks all.

lass, the thing is she gave me a promise ring two years ago this new years, a ring that she made, and i was so flabbergasted and amazed that i lost it only two weeks later. i'm still kicking myself.

we've been talking about marriage since we were very first together, and i want her to know that it's real this time.

but i am totally clueless and inept when it comes to jewelry.

i don't know about the diamond solitaire. i was thinking of staying away from diamonds and gold, and trying to figure out how to design something to have custom made, then put our birthstones in it???

we're not real traditional types, you know? but maybe there's a time to be traditional...

December 28, 2005
9:41 am
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guest_guest
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Lass, are you saying living together before marraige increases the divorce rate? Could you tell me more? I have a girl in my own life whom I'm serous about and was thinking about the possibility of living together first because we like each other so much.

December 28, 2005
10:18 am
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goodenough
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I think it is wonderful that you are thinking about getting married. Proposal is an ultimate compliment to a woman that has an effect longer than 5 minutes. I hope all will be well with you two.

As far as a ring goes, I would get in touch with a friend of her who can keep a secret. You can get tons from a woman's friends. They know it all because they talk about many things when men are not there, including the "dream ring" and "dream wedding". Your woman's friends will probably know her taste.

Also you can propose in a jewelry store. I am sure that the clerks will be ahppy to assist you with that. I can't imagine a store that would not allow do that - like pay them to be open 10 minutes after the closing, so that there would be no customers...:)

December 28, 2005
10:35 am
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D dog
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Orangeboy!!!

Say no more - you want something unique?

Check out this site:

http://www.justmetal.com

The rings are AMAZING! And under $200.

I would especially kill for the "Garibaldi" design...sigh.

Good luck to you!

:o)

December 28, 2005
2:39 pm
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kathygy
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orangeboy,

"i just am not sure whether it's too soon after all the drama ensued, or if it's perfect because things are going well... "

When in doubt, wait and be sure the relationship stabilzes before getting married.

yes, its very romantic to get engaged and to have a wedding ceremony but then comes the actual marriage after the dust settles.

Its a lot harder to get out of a marriage than into one. I would just wait and have some more evidence that things will continue to go well over the long haul.

I picked out my own engagement ring because that's the way I wanted it.

December 28, 2005
2:58 pm
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thewall
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orangeboy,

How cool. You have to tell us how you propose, k?

My friends fiance kidnapped her and took her to a lil get away w/e in Vegas, had the room sprinkled with flower petals etc. She had no idea where they would end up until they landed. sigh...how romantic.

My h and I went ring shopping together weeks/months before he proposed (both in catalogues and at the mall). I picked out 4rings I liked and then let him make the final decision. I had no idea when or how he would propose to me or which ring he would end up with (now that was torture:)).

I think this is the best idea b/c its something she has to wear forever and should like it (I'm really picky about my jewelry).

Also it was still a surprise bc I didnt know which of the 4 he would choose.

Marriage is a decision for both of you so picking out rings together is a good beginning too. 🙂

Keep us posted. Cant wait to hear the details. Congratulations!!!

December 28, 2005
4:24 pm
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overcome
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Orangeboy,

That is SOOOOO wonderful! My advice is try to think of her in past-tense...I mean what type of exwife would she make?

I like to use the xwife-o-meter....

If she rates 8-10....marry

5-7 Get a prenup.

2-4 just stay for the booty

under 2....run like the wind!!!!

There is my advice.

December 28, 2005
8:01 pm
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orangeboy
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thanks y'all.

lol overcome, that's some great advice.

and ddog, the rings at that site are just about perfect, i'm still looking.

i always wanted to do a skywriter thing, but we live in the land of perpetual fog, and it seems that it'd cost around 3grand to do it, so i guess it's gonna have to be out...

December 28, 2005
8:05 pm
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orangeboy
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oh yeah and ddog, that garibaldi is killer. topaz is her birthstone. is that weird or perfect? seems like she should wear my birthstone and me hers? or we should each have both???

we both like sapphires and topaz and opals, and also turquoise...

December 28, 2005
8:37 pm
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D dog
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OB -

Glad you liked the site! Yeah, I pretty much love everything on it.

Got H. the Matrix B bracelet for Christmas...it's awesome. Now I am shopping for myself...bought the Heisenberg bracelet as it was marked down to $15 and is rather girlie...

Hoping someday I can ring shop with H, but feel like I'm jinxing myself just looking! LOL!

December 28, 2005
8:44 pm
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Rasputin
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((((Orange))))

Wishing you All the best, and keep us posted!!!

Word of Caution: Just make sure she is the right girl!

December 28, 2005
11:07 pm
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D dog
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OB -

My wish came true...we got the sale ring, the Titanium with Roman Numerals...we're oh so not at the wedding stage, but I thought it would be a good "friendship" thing for us to have.

With this ring...I thee tolerate!

LOL!

December 28, 2005
11:25 pm
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orangeboy
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lol.

how long have you been with your person ddog?

December 28, 2005
11:39 pm
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orangeboy
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right now i'm thinking that maybe its best to hold off for a bit. not because i have doubts at all, but because i want to give all the hard stuff a bit more time to pass first.

her mom and friends are still a bit upset with me, and my friends are still a bit upset with her.

but, i did go and get her name tattooed on my chest. which i know seems completely foolish, but as i said, i'm a hopeless romantic, and i am committed to this one forever.

i read in an article by a marriage couselor that if your partner is 75% good then stick with it, 'cos otherwise you're gonna have to start all over again and the new person's gonna of course have flaws too.

i think she's 93% good overall. sometimes i think shes 236% good. other times i think she's 80% good. doesnt really drop below that though (knock on wood).

December 28, 2005
11:44 pm
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bonita1
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hey this is where you hanging out??

December 28, 2005
11:50 pm
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orangeboy
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nope

December 28, 2005
11:52 pm
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orangeboy
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no, i was hanging out with you over there. come back!

December 29, 2005
2:56 am
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Lass
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GuestGuest,

Yes~ All the evidence is in on that puppy. People who live together before marriage are far more likely to divorce than those who do not cohabitate prior to marriage. I don't have the exact stats in my back pocket, but you could google it and find it.

I think it has to do with the whole approach and respect for marriage, its sanctity, its commitment. It doesn't mean your marriage will be perfect. It means that you will hang in there when the going gets tough and give it everything you've got, and then some.

LL

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