Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
the wall is going up
September 10, 2001
4:55 pm
Avatar
Reloe
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My previous thread was about my daughter in a codependent relationship. Now it is about me. Last night we got into an argument and she wants to move. Fine. Then I get spiteful - you hurt me - I'll hurt you. I finally calmed down and the urge to hurt goes away. Now she is determined that she and his guy and baby will make a happy family and I'm not part of the family any more. I feel rejected and hurt and when I get hurt, I put up a wall. I act cold and distant. Right now I want someone to understand my hurt and maybe some healthy way of dealing with the hurt.

Thanks.

September 10, 2001
5:35 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Do I ever understand. We as humans do some wierd things to protect our selves, and after the best weekend I have had with both of my daughters together, tossing in my sister, I want four walls my self. Way to much effort. LET HER GO. LET HER LEARN HER LESSONS. LET YOUR PAIN STAY WITH YOU, AND BITE YOUR TOUNGE.
For the healthy out let, I suggest posting here, or start a journal, that you can set on fire. Join a gym, or buy some good running shoes, write, and work out. That is the healthy way, your hurt, and damn angry, and justified, but don't die on this mountain today. Just like everyone on these threads told me a year and a half ago, she will come around. don't build the permant wall, ok. Don't be a door mat either.
She is going to need you big time, and your going to need your energy, and love and money, when she does get it, which could be real soon, if she moves out with him soon. In fact I would encourage her to do it right now, so that you can help her pick up the pieces before baby is born. In fact healthy outlet number one, lets get a pool going on line here to see how long before she is back home!!
Mama, just put on her shoes, and remember how well, how smart, how yada yada yada you were at her age. Smile, you have lots of moms here that have been there and done that.
I know that you are bleeding internally right now, its killing you, but keep the damage at a minimum, bite the tounge, and act with confidence that she knows what she is doing, and you are not in a position to support her efforts right now. Like buying furniture, or helping with rent, or medical bills, or I was going to say baby sitting, but I bet she will be begging to come home by then. I made the mistake of venting my pain, during my growth spurt, the rejection thing, and said some things that feed their dad's agenda. Thank God, I didn't spill everything, but then again, wonder ...
Let her go,and process here. She will be back. But most important, its her life. Her choices, and don't wear it like its a reflection on you, guilt trips don't serve us. helping her pack is it..................

September 10, 2001
5:48 pm
Avatar
Reloe
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I really want her to go now. Here are the obstacles to now: he has no apartment and she is going to school close to our house. I've told her I want her to go but her response is she has no place to go now. I think a pool would be great! I feel so much better after hearing from you.

September 10, 2001
6:06 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ok, so get her all the phone numbers of the rentals in your area. Are there apts close to school? Get her a basic rental application simply to hand her, let her fill her's out, and one for him, then suggest she xerox it for all the management companies.
Is he still with Mama? How far is that from school? Ugh ugh I am sure he can drive her. Is it her objection mama, or yours?????????????
Nasty aren't I? Ok, what is your time line, if and when you get her out, and don't you dare offer to let him move in. Bold as well as nasty, I can't help myself. It just sucks, but there is one thing to be really greatful for, you only had one child.

September 12, 2001
3:00 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

So, what is going on, MoM????

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
28
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110920
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714201
Newest Members:
kevinkovalsky, izzy39, RoyFollman, kevin021, Fice1990, KyleGallegos
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer