Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
The ultamatim Please read
September 15, 2005
1:29 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

my meds just get me through

September 15, 2005
1:31 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

until you deal with it you are going to continue to have the nightmares..i know it is hard and it is easier to ignore things cuz thats what i do too but you can't add to your problems it is just making things worse...how do you get close to him physically if you still have nightmares? you can't live the rest of your life being on medication and ignoring things cuz you'll never be happy. do your sons motivate you to get better?

September 15, 2005
1:31 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm sure you've thought about it - what type of person, situation, life would make you happy. How do you picture you life in 5 years, if you could dictate exactly how it would be?

September 15, 2005
1:33 am
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Alright, I just read the rape thing, I'm in the car and I'm coming to get you right now. Random, I'm floored.

September 15, 2005
1:33 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

aren't the medications suppose to help better yourself not just get through the day? if that is all you use them for do you feel you are on them for the right reasons?? you should take advantage of them and work on your problems...like i said i know it is easier said than done...how often do you see your therapist??

September 15, 2005
1:34 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

the only thing i can think of is being happy for once in my life living in a nice house. Writing my poetry creating a book of my poems having a husband who loves me and would do any thing for me my children doing great in school just being happy

September 15, 2005
1:35 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I see her once a week

September 15, 2005
1:36 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

those are all things you can and will achieve if you are on the right road but those things don't just come to you you have to work for them and or go and get them...as far as your husband i would think that he loves you and that is why he wants to be with you but until you work on your relationship it won't ever get better.

September 15, 2005
1:37 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

how long have you been seeing her?? i think its great that you are talking to someone and that you see her that often.

September 15, 2005
1:41 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i have been seeing her for about 3 months. my husband also has anger issues he doesnt hit but there is lots of emotional abuse

September 15, 2005
1:44 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

maybe he has gone through things too have you ever tried to talk to him about him? i know guys are a little harder to get to open up but if you two dont talk and begin to understand each other then do you really know each other?

September 15, 2005
1:45 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know aobut his childhood his dad was an asshole but what he doesnt realise is that he is turning into him everyday but if i call him on it he flips

September 15, 2005
1:48 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

of course he does cuz that is the last thing he wants to hear...have you tried taking different approaches to get him to see this instead of telling him straight out? for example if he is getting worse tell him how he would have dealt with something before and show him the difference like maybe he gets more out of control now or just jumps to conclusions...i have learned with guys you cant just tell them things you have to show them that is how they work.

September 15, 2005
1:49 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

unfortunatly he has always been an asshole i just didnt see it at first i saw it as a guy who would except damaged goods

September 15, 2005
1:54 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

so basically you settled because you did not feel that you deserved or could do better?? the first thing you have to realize if you have not already realized it is that you are so strong by choosing the path you took. you definitely too the hard way. the easy way out would have been to become an alcoholic and addicted to drugs and followed in your parents footsteps, i am not talking shit on your parents, i am just saying you could have chosen their path but instead you chose the better path which proves that you know you are better than that so you can't just settle because you need to set an example for your kids...you have such a huge influence on your kids so use them to get better. your husband may not be good enough for you but don't give up unless you know that for sure. if there is any doubt and i don't mean doubt cuz you dont think you will find anyone else than try to work things out but if not then you need to be selfish and do what you need to do and that is get out of all the negative situations that you are in and surround yourself with positive people that bring out the best in you.

September 15, 2005
1:58 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

some times i wonder how much good is in me i spend my day yelling my house is dirty and no matter what i do i cant seem to be happy i realy dont like my self and i dont know how to start

September 15, 2005
2:01 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

geez you and me both...you have so much good in you that i can see and i don't even know you...i'm not just saying this to make you feel better either. you yell and you are not happy with anything around you because you are not happy with yourself.. i am the same way and i am so extremely irritable..it is very rare that i will have a good day. i dont like myself either and i dont know how to start.
maybe you don't like yourself because you don't forgive yourself for all the things that happened to you.it may help to talk about them but that is just temporary cuz it is just venting..do you forgive yourself??

September 15, 2005
2:02 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I just wish that there was someting i could have done to stop the hell i went through or if i desirved it

September 15, 2005
2:05 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

how could you stop it it started when you were three when you had no control and if it kept going on then what would possibly make you stop it then...that is what you knew. it is not your fault and you did not deserve it but i think back to that saying that god wont give us what we cant handle and i believe that if all those things were to happen to someone else they might have chose a different path or maybe ended their life where you are strong enough to turn your life around.

September 15, 2005
2:07 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

my councler asked me were i got my strenth to pull through from and i told her from prayer i prayed everyday for it to stop. I have ahd thoughts aobut ending it but none in the past month

September 15, 2005
2:10 am
Avatar
sensitive
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

if it means anything i am really proud of you...i don't think about killing myself or hurting myself but many times i find myself wishing i was dead or something would happen to just end everything if there is a difference in that at all to you.. i believe the reason i don't think about hurting myself is because my sister tried to kill herself so i have a whole different perspective on it being on the opposite end of it considering we were both going through a lot of the same problems.

September 15, 2005
9:47 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thank you all for talking to me i only have one friend and i feel like im srounded with friends whenim here

September 15, 2005
10:04 am
Avatar
jamaicanwife
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey, my house is dirty, my husband doesn't like to talk about my past, and I can't move on, and my son is perfect but I can't manage another - we should start a club.

Rw2, it is okay to be selfish. Other people use the word as an insult when they want you to please them instead of yourself, but I think you more than anyone else need to do things for yourself. You need to be selfish. Practice it until its perfect, doing things just because they make you feel better, or because it is what you need right now. You have to do this or you will never get a moment's peace. You need to TRAIN these people to give you some space to recover and grow - because you have not fonished growing up. My childhood was a walk in the park compared to yours, God bless you, and I'm still stuck at 12 years old. I don't know where you must be stuck, but don't let them pressure you into having more kids - you need time for yourself, to look after yourself. Don't let them live out their fantasy that your fine now and everything is going to be okay - remind them that you have only just started a long, hard journey, and you are going to need their support on this journey.

Or that little girl you hope to have might have a different father and grandmother, people who actually know how and care enough to be there for YOU.

September 15, 2005
10:10 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

that is so true if my husband doesnt shape up and maybe take care of me for a change instead of me taking care of him all the damned time i might just leave and be with someone who loves me for me not what i am whilling to do for him

September 15, 2005
10:28 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

does anyone know how i can put the whole husbad rape thing behind me so i can get on with my life?

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
27
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110978
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714262
Newest Members:
brianwolfe, swright, nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information