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the tangled web we weave...
May 12, 2001
4:36 pm
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shugarmagnolya
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September 27, 2010
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I've been depressed for the past two years...i got help off and on but developed all of the fears and quirks the past 2 years. I've been dating my boyfriend for about three and have known him longer than that... We are pretty serious, even lived together for awhile. The problem is ive been hesitant because i know he wants to be with me forever and it basically comes down to the fact that if I dont love myself how can I love someone else. So he lives about 8 hours from me now, long distance relationship till he graduates from college. by the way, i am bipolar. So during one of my up, happy phases when I first moved back, I started hanging out with all of these guys. One asked me out and we've been hanging out ever since. I started cheating on my boyfriend with him. I just wanted to "feel" something. But then I started to feel bad about it all...I love my boyfriend-i would never find anyone as sweet and caring as him. Ive been hanging out with this other guy because I became friends with his friends and I dont know anyone else around here. I know I would be really lonely if I broke things off but I want to because of my boyfriend. Every time I think im going to call it off, I end up going out with this other guy (who I totally do not trust), but he tells me wonderful things and about how he wants to be with me and I like to hear it for the time being. I know this all sounds selfish and im a horrible person for it.

The thing is, my confidence level is like negative 10 right now. I've never been this way before and its like i need some kind of affection or approval at all times. My boyfriend gives me that but he's so far away right now. I was just put on Neurontin for performance anxiety and bipolar and I will be starting therapy soon. I do not know the slightest thing about therapy, can you work on building your confidence level up?

May 14, 2001
7:15 am
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janes
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September 24, 2010
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Start listening to yourself....

You need to be secure in YOU.

Stop into a bookstore and spend half a day in the self help section...

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