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The Sweet Potato Queens Five Essential Men to Have In Your Life
February 1, 2008
10:30 am
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It No Longer Matters
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I am a huge fan of the Sweet Potato Queens and have even been to Jackson, MS for the St. Patricks Day Parade. Jill Conner Brown is the Boss Queen and is in her 50's. She has a slant on life that just can't be beat and she has had her share of disastrous men. Anyway in one of her books she came up with the 5 essential men. She plainly states it is damn near impossible to find all 5 traits in one man. She said about the best you could expect to do was find 3. Anyway here they are:

1. A man to dance with

2. A man to talk to

3. A man who can fix things

4. A man who will buy you things (flowers)

5. A man to have sex with

And lest we lose all hope 4 out of 5 CAN be gay.

Bitsy

February 1, 2008
10:39 am
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Come on ladies, lets have some Friday Fun: How many of these characteristics have you ever found in one man and your father is obviously exluded for one MAJOR reason. So we can't be daddy's girls here. Although my father is my "fix it" man.

Bitsy

February 1, 2008
11:21 am
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lucky831
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I have married two men with only 1 of these traits. I see other husbands with more (or at least they appear to have more, but then I'm not married to them).

February 1, 2008
11:21 am
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autumn128
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Bitsy,

I received an e-mail from a girlfriend of mine very similiar to the list you posted. At the bottom of the 5 things it said "and hopefully none of these men know each other."

LOL. I have three really good male friends. All of them have different qualities on that list, but of course not ALL of them, and i've never had sex with any of them, which explains why i've been friends with them for so long.

My one male friend, is gay. He took me out dancing for my birthday last year, and of course I had the time of my life.

I'm telling you, there is no justice.

Autumn

February 1, 2008
11:26 am
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Well I thought I had found 3 out of 5 it didn't work out quite the way I thought.
My ex-h did buy me jewelry every now and then and always told me to keep my Christmas bonus from work and spend it on myself. But he couldn't dance, wouldn't talk, was pretty to look at, but couldn't fix anything really, and the sex just wasn't that good.

Bitsy

February 1, 2008
11:30 am
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Ooh

You are not going to like my answer.

My man has all of those qualities, (im just going to whisper this)

However, it has been very trying to get to this place.

Good luck to you all

x

February 1, 2008
12:05 pm
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shyshy
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same here courage. My man has all of those qualities too, except he's addicted to Cocaine and will get abusive. So, you just can't win!

February 1, 2008
12:43 pm
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lewis
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oh my I'm shocked! I've only ever known no5!!!!

I would really like 1,2 & 3

February 1, 2008
1:58 pm
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sad sack
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I have my own list of essential traits:

1. My partner should be financially responsible, but I do not expect him to buy me things.
2. I want a partner who not only I can talk to, but will listen as attentively to me, as I listen to him.
3. My partner and I should be connected on an intimate level.
4. My partner must respect me.
5. My partner must respect himself.
6. My partner must have a sense of humor.

It would be nice to have someone who is handy, but it is not an essential quality. Also, having a partner who dances, is just not that important to me.

I am sure there are more important traits; these are just the ones that jumped out at me. Just my opinion.

sad

February 1, 2008
5:36 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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Okay so I have a man to have sex with, to dance with and who can fix somethings. (not cars) i can talk to him as long as it is not about 'feelings' or religion. I guess I have a man with 2.5 of those things. Luckier than some I guess.

February 1, 2008
6:00 pm
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Robert123
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I'm good for 2 thru 5. I don't dance all that much. I would try the ballroom dance thing if I had lessons and a willing lady.

February 1, 2008
10:54 pm
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peabody
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Weird, huh, I definitely don't have the one to talk to, as he is sitting with his laptop and me with mine and we are each communicating with unknown people...

February 2, 2008
4:02 am
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Worried_Dad
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But that's my ideal woman list!

February 2, 2008
6:55 am
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courage to change
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Its me again.

Yes, my partner does have all the above qualities, and yes he is a truly lovely man.

Last night we went out dancing, and whilst dancing with me he was looking around at other people. I felt angry about this. I Talked to him about this. But all last night I was still raging inside. So this morning I set a boundary and said to him Im happy to dance with him, but I need him to be with me when he is doing this and focused on me.

He is happy to do this. I feel stronger for having set a boundary, but it sure is scarey.

In the past ive had so many relationships where I just put up with crap from men, and my self worth ended up rubbish.

So yes I realise Ive got a wonderful man, but it can sure still be painful and testing.

In response to the original question, I think its important to have our own clearly defined goals of what we need in the opposite sex.

xx

February 3, 2008
12:07 pm
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Codi202
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There is no reason that they all cannot be found in one man.

February 3, 2008
12:35 pm
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razor
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I like Sads list

Problem is...I don't trust myself to recognize these qualities anymore and sometimes I see things that are not really there 🙁

February 3, 2008
12:42 pm
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MsGuided
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WD...I qualify!lmao ;0)

I am a real handy woman!

Well I have issues in the Inimacy department lately..but I'm cacooning!!LOL

February 3, 2008
1:48 pm
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MsGuided
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Inamacy?In A Macy's! ...like: rather shop than be Intimate?

No. Just Intimate was the word!
It aint just cold outside!ha!

February 3, 2008
2:48 pm
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Many years ago a teacher taught me that the word INTIMACY can a;so be broken down to

In To Me See

With genuine intimacy we have nothing to hide. That doesn't mean that we talk about exes, or other things best left unsaid. Our partner wants closeness with respect to our otherness as we journey through life together

littlespirit

February 8, 2008
9:01 pm
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_anonymous
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My husband is all of the above. He doesnt really know how to dance but will if I want him too. I think the list is silly. A lot of charmers have those attributes. I think that honesty, and allegiance, loyalty, are the glue. Oh ya and loving you just the way you are.

March 8, 2008
10:56 pm
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Codi202
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bump

March 9, 2008
9:01 am
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Celtic1
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Codi

I bow down to the

Sweet Potatoe Queens!!!! THEY RULE!!!

Celtic

March 9, 2008
10:37 am
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Celtic, Did you get one of the books and read it? She has obviously been through some crap but has come out ok on the other end.

Bitsy

March 9, 2008
11:16 am
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Celtic1
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Bitsy..
No I have't but I will. ;0) I didn't know there was a book. Or maybe I read the thread which spoke about it and have forgotten. Please forgive me if I sounded lith about the author, (I don't even know who the author is) I didn't mean any disrespect. I remember the five men and would like to have them all in one. Please refersh my memory with author and title/s so I can read and hopefully learn more.

Again, I meant to disrespect.

Celtic

March 9, 2008
11:17 am
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Celtic1
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Bitsy...

OOPPS that should read NO disrespect. :0(

Celtic

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