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the rest of the story.....
August 30, 2001
11:19 am
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sue2001
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August 30, 2001
11:37 am
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Ladeska
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...yes...?

August 30, 2001
11:48 am
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sue2001
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ok oopps I always do that...

Ok now every one knows that most of the time there is more to the story,.,, and that goes for mine... I have often wondered if my husband is at least bi curious. over the years he has done things that would be odd for a complete straight man to do... and now I have found things on here that I know he had to have put (on the computer ) like things he has looked at and stuff. All most all of it is women and straight porn but every once in awhile he will slip in with a really odd site... gay or bi site.. I don't know what to think about that ... at first I thought maybe it wasn't him ... sometimes when a porn site is up others will pop up with out you looking for them... so I gave him credit on that...so yesturday I was looking in the history and I found some sites that was looked for on yahoo... and one of them was the male buthole pic... he actually looked for that...
I have told him over and over that he can look at what ever he wants to in here.. and ya'll might think I am wrong but we have mags and videos what is the difference with him looking at the sites... to a point... I have found that he is trying to talk to women in the area off of here, and actually has asked one out.,.. NOW I DON'T LIKE THAT AT ALL
and I told him so ... I said it was one thing to look at the stuff that is unattainable and another to act on it.. and try to see people... any way .. I don't know what to do with all this crap that I am dealing wiht I have printed every thing I find... for when I do leave .. I just want to know what is slowing me down... why haven't I left yet SUE

August 30, 2001
12:14 pm
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sue2001
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another thing too is I have a friend that has admitted to me only that he is bi curious and since has acted on it.... he has a family and all of that.... I am the only one that knows of that stuff ,,,, I never told him of the things I think about my husband...he met him one day at work and the next time I saw my friend he asked me if my husband was bi I said no (of cours) and he(my friend) said you might want to make sure..... he said that he could "feel" the energy ... what ever that means...
humph?
sue

August 30, 2001
12:26 pm
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Molly
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They always say people know their own kind. A friend of mine who is gay, says she can tell, a pot smoker can pick a pot smoker, heroin user, and find them in a crowd, crack too, so why not gay, or bi??
I think the biggest problem with some of this porno stuff, is being human and all, how long can you walk through a candy store or bakery and not want to sample the goodies???
When you don't have a solid foundation to begin with, and the trust is in question, it feeds the insecurity that exists, and helps it to grow. Trust is a very delicate thing, and risk is fierce. Especially since you are married, and this seems to maybe an impulse, type of behavior, I wouldn't trust that he uses protection if he should act out on this stuff. I would be in fear, of disease, but that is me. I am not infering that all gays or bi's are disease ridden, butttttttttt, it is a high risk population, male gays have a higher incidence of drug use, which compounds the disease risk, soooooo
Be careful.

August 30, 2001
12:42 pm
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sue2001
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yes I am aware of that... I really don't think he has ever done that I think that for sure he is just curious for now...i hate to sterotype any one but my husband is what I have heard others call a "redneck" and the bi stuff is NOT tolerated by his friends and the folks he works with... he bad mouths other gay or bi men but to my knowledge he has not missed many will and grace episodes hmmmm... well any way I know some thing is wrong... and I still can't do any thing about it.. I have a head ache for real right now .... .. sue

August 30, 2001
12:58 pm
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Ladeska
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You know, Sue....you're going to have to answer your own question here as to why you are hesitating on leaving or whatever. We could speculate all day long - but you are the one with the real answer...

Personally, I think what he's doing is messed up. And the one contact that he made - woulda sent my butt - out the door for good, no questions asked. Bada boom. Kiss my butt because you'll never see my face again.

I don't get into the whys and the wherefores anymore because some things just aren't acceptable to me, so I don't need to examine someone else's navel about it. I have my own mind and it's a damned good one. If you don't have boundaries - people are going to run all over you and send you into confusion and never-never land everytime.

But, the question is - why do you allow this? The guy is giving you signals all over the place that he's on the make sexually and is actively looking with the intent of contact.

If your self worth allows this - then more will follow and you will have given permission. It's all pretty point blank here. He's looking with intent - you're allowing it.

Maybe that kind of - lack of intimacy - is okay with you, feels safe if he's not too close to you. And porn is definitely about - not "being really with" someone. Then again - maybe it's not okay with you. Which is it? And which is harmful to you and which is helpful?

Sometimes I think we enjoy going around in circles, claiming all the time we don't want to, but we keep doing it - therefore it is chosen by us.

The dude is looking for sexual gratification any new way he can get it. What next? Child porn? Do you really want to see how demented this can get? I see the slippery slope of "slliddee" going on here in the future and you protesting the whole way down - but not doing anything to really stop it either. Know what you see and trust it. Then make some decisions for yourself that are black and white.

August 30, 2001
1:09 pm
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sue2001
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thank you ladeska

August 30, 2001
1:43 pm
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Ladeska
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You're welcome, sweetie.

August 30, 2001
4:16 pm
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sue2001
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ladeska I would like to talk to you via email.. not that i can't say any thing in here... it is something I just don't feel comfortable discussing in any forum at all is it possible to contact any other way? If not I will understand.

August 30, 2001
5:16 pm
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Ladeska
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Sure...completely [email protected]

August 30, 2001
6:57 pm
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sue2001
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ty

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