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The really, REALLY important things in life........
September 24, 2009
8:06 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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I am so filled with grief.

My childhood girlfriend recently passed and I will be attending her funeral tomorrow.

whew. sigh.

She was only 50. Died of lung cancer.

We were estranged for quite awhile. About a year or so. She let me borrow her "Food Saver" vaccum-machine-thing and the only thing that she said was to give it back to her before the spring when she would need it for the veggies in her garden.

Well, I never did. And every month that passed, as I looked at it in my kitchen, I just felt worse and worse because I missed the spring deadline, so out of foolish, STUPID pride, I didn't return her call to just touch base several months ago...........until she came to my house about a month ago with stiches in her neck to tell me about the diagnosis....

What a fool I was!!!!!!!!! An utter fool!

Now, she's gone.

We did reconnect again. I saw her in the hospital a few times. On my last visit, right before I left, she said that she loved me and I said that I loved her too.

That was the last time we spoke.

I write and share this with everyone here only to say - don't let foolish, stupid pride get in your way like I did!

The really, REALLY important thing in life is simply who we love and who loves us back.

That's it.

That's the bottom fricking line!!!!!!

Who we love and who loves us back.

I will miss her sooooo much.

She was one of those rare souls who was solid. I mean - solid as a rock - both in character and conviction.....but also had a heart of gold. A real rare combination.......

(I just can't believe that she is really gone........)

It's so easy to get all caught up in STUPID, petty crap and BS these days, but please, DO try and take a lesson from this - tomorrow is promised to no one........

(((((Ingrid)))))) I'll miss you.

September 24, 2009
8:29 pm
chelonia mydas
Forum Posts: 7
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. At least you had most of a lifetime of shared memories, support and good times. Don't be hard on yourself for this one human error. She obviously forgave and loved you very much. You obviously loved her very much and your reaction to missing that deadline reflects how much you respect her and didn't want to face her dissappointment. Your reaction is something to learn from (and is also something I myself have done too). Thank you for sharing so we can all benefit from the lesson.

Would you like to share some of the good memories you and Ingrid shared? I am here if you need a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen. Ya know we've been sharing stories lately in the Coffeehouse, would you like to meet me there to share your favorite dessert and maybe a few stories too?

Hugs and condolences for such a great loss.

September 24, 2009
9:51 pm
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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Thank you so much Chelonia for your honest and sincere heartfelt response.

It really does come across through this forum.

I know that this is an anonymous site and all and that we really don't know each other - really - as in - in person or anything, but the mere fact that we can reach across this large world wide web and connect with each other on such a large and massive - yet at the same time - small and personal and very intimate and personal scale is just - well, pretty incredible - you know?

Something that I am so thankful for.

Thank you for asking if I had any good memories to share between Ingrid and myself. (That tells me so much about YOU Chelonia, actually, that you are willing to put your own issues aside for the time being to directly listen and be open to me and what I am going through right now......you, I feel, are pretty rare and kind in your own right, along these lines, as far as I am concerned and I am oh so appreciative to you for this, right now for that....)

Thank you so much for asking.

I remember a time where Ingrid and I were kids and I was over at her parents' home. Her parents' and mine were playing cards in the den.

(Remember - back in the day - when folks actually got together to play cards? Canasta or something back then?)

In thinking back, I don't remember who thought of it - probably me - but I remember as kids, when our parents were playing cards in the other room - going into her parents' bedroom and just jumping on their bed as if it were our own personal trampoline - and having just a high ole time laughing and such until her mom caught wind of it and made us stop.

We just laughed and went outside to play.

I also remember playing (hijacking?) her mother's organ. I think that she played in church or something and every chance I got - I just cranked it up as if I owned it and really belted out some blues/boogie-woogie riffs with total abandon.

Didn't last long until I heard a real shrill, dutch european voice from her mom shreak out - 'Ing - Glid!'

Ingrid would run to see what her mom wanted and then she would come back to me and say....my mom says that she doesn't want you playing the organ anymore.......

Oh gosh, such times.

We also had our share of the 'high times' after high school. (Late 1970's - early 80's) gettin so blitzed that we decided to go into a Dunkin Donuts and there were a few cops there - and we were loaded and high and laughing and stuff - that when they brought me a stuffed donut - I squeezed it really hard until the filling exploded and we laughed so hard that you would have thought that that was the funniest thing ever....and all the while - thinking that we were going to get busted by the local cops sitting there and watching us....but we never did.

Whew. The things we got away with!

We talked about this in her last days. And laughed.

I also have some great memories of the both of us skinny-dipping under the moonlight in her small pool at her house as adults.

It was great!

We just donned all of our clothes and really had some quiet and really open and honest and safe one-on-one heartfelt discussions about life and just stuff in general and it was really just free and easy and I guess, I am really just thankful for those quiet and intimate times that we shared together.......

Thanks Chelonia for asking me about this.

Haven't thought about this stuff in years.

Good to remember and celebrate the good times as life is just so, so short............

September 24, 2009
10:03 pm
Forum Posts: 39
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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My condolences to you & I hear what you are saying.

I once watched a docu about terminally ill people. Interestingly, not a single person was concerned with money matters or material things. They weren't wishing that they had spent more time at the office working etc. It was all about family, friends & relationships - nothing else. In the end, that seems to be the only thing that really matters.

I'm glad that I 'get that' & it's a good thing for people to keep it in mind when feeling at odds with folks that they genuinely care about.

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