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the question of not existing, changing, doing the unfamiliar
May 15, 2007
6:00 pm
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loverbee
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September 24, 2010
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Well, I have been thinking about it and it seems so terrifying to think that I am going to be living in NYC and be living with people that I don't know very well and trying to make it work so that I can become a chef. The thing is, when people say, I am afraid to not exist after I die or i am afraid to be without someone or I am this or I am that and I am thinking, if you don't exist, then you won't care that you don't exist because you don't exist. So when I think about the fact that I am not going to be living as close to my ex who is also my best friend, it seems terrifying but now i am thinking, I haven't always loved him my entire life, forever, I only met him nine years ago, so I know I can do this without him. Maybe I will meet someone else that I want to spend the rest of my life with and maybe we will get back together, but the point is, I am scared and I am sad and I don't seem to understand how to stop that. Its just so overwhelming.

May 15, 2007
6:18 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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I am so sorry you are scared. Change is a scary thing but I think it would be very exciting to live in NYC and just think you are doing something about a dream you have. that is very excellent.

I know you've had some hard times lately but I'm impressed that you have been able to get going and do something with yourself.

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