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The ONE thing a wife can't tell her husband...
August 16, 2007
3:49 am
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marypoppins
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Hikerdad -

I think it's great that you had the courage to post here. I hope you see from all of the responses that you're not alone. I agree with doubleloss that sex is a kind of thermometer in the relationship, which is why so many of the responses to your post asked you about other aspects of your relationship.

I also encourage you, as others did, to seek therapy, read books, and read boards such as this one. Every person and every relationship is unique, but I have found that reading more about a particular issue is a good beginning to finding a resolution. If you feel shy about buying a certain book in a bookstore, you can buy the book on line. Simply having the book on the nightstand might initiate discussion of this very sensitive topic. Also, since self-help books are based on research and often give specific case histories, you may find something you completely identify with, easing your worries and giving you insight into your specific issue.

If you feel comfortable doing so, I encourage you to post the information you said you'd post later. Without more information, this is all mostly speculation.

Sincerely,

Mary

August 16, 2007
3:52 am
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marypoppins
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HikerDad-

I'm sorry. I just noticed that you addressed your post to 2 specific people.

I hope you don't mind that I responded.

Mary

August 16, 2007
7:46 am
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Matteo
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marypoppins ~ this is a public forum and you can post on any thread you feel like. No need to apologize.

August 16, 2007
3:56 pm
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marypoppins
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HikerDad,

My husband and I also had a very passionate sex life in the early years of the marriage, but now it's non-existent. I don't think it's uncommon in a marriage/romantic relationship for problems to go unresolved or for most of the time and energy to go to the kids, work, finances, and health. You said that your youngest is 15, so you must have already sent a couple of your children out into the world.

I often find myself wondering what happened to those two people who couldn't keep their hands off of one another. My husband and I have become such strangers to one another.

You mentioned that your wife doesn't seem to feel comfortable with her body. There's so much pressure on women to look young and beautiful, and it's hard not to buy into it. All the make-over shows, plastic surgery, super models, porn stars with flat stomachs and big firm fake breasts send these messages that that's what men want, and we may become our own worst critics. Telling your wife how much you love looking at her, how much you miss certain parts of her body, and how beautiful she is to you could be very powerful words.

Good luck to you. And again, sorry for replying to your post if you were intending to restrict your replies.

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