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The OK Corral
August 31, 2007
6:00 pm
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_anonymous
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I went 200 miles and back for my husbands sentancing. Saw him the day before and after the hearing. This visit did not go well. I had to just come right out and tell him like it was. He didnt like it. Told me I was harassing him. I told him I couldnt sit there and lie. He said I was trying to justify the devorse and said I was going to do what ever I wanted in that area and I said I was going to do as I saw fit the same way he did as he damn well pleased the entire time we were married. I told him I could not believe that he told me that he didnt love me when he married me, but married me cause he wanted a wife and knew he would grow to love me. I told him that he lied to me when he said his vows, the marriage was based on fraud and if I knew he didnt love me I would have never married him. Then he said he is in love with me now. I told him I wanted to marry someone who wanted Me Desinty not a wife. Do you know he has NEVER said my name the whole time I have known him???????? He would write letters Dear Wife, Then sign his name. When I asked him what his plans were when he gets out of jail he said "I dont know" then I told him I could not live on "I dont know". He said he did know he wanted to be with me. Like I would ever be around his stupid, chaotic, neverending insulting, disrespecting ass again. My divorce is final 9-28-07. Then I will send him a copy. I am still trying to buy a pony that will be born the end of feb.

August 31, 2007
6:18 pm
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horsefly
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Dear Destinyhorse, Unfortunately, I have been in a sick relationship to understand word by word of your conversation. I guess how we can let them devalue us is the main problem, huh? I understand my friend I really do. I am here, just not sure if I have any answers. I still get pissed thinking of all of it. Your horsepal..........HP!! horsefly

August 31, 2007
6:36 pm
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Yes you are right DEVALUE. If you had to do it all over again what would you have done different in that situaitio?

August 31, 2007
6:38 pm
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horsefly
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Destiny, You are having aa toxic reaction. It is ok. You are just fine . horsefly

August 31, 2007
6:39 pm
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horsefly
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Wrong word , maybe you are not fine........HF

August 31, 2007
6:47 pm
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horsefly
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Destiny, I am no expert , but I have been through alot of hell with my EX. Maybe I can help sort some of this out? HP....horsefly

August 31, 2007
7:06 pm
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horsefly
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To answer your question , I have none about what I would do different. I do the best I can without overshooting what I would like to ............other than that I stay at the OK Corral .......making the best peace possible....horsefly

August 31, 2007
7:12 pm
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horsefly
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(((((((((((Huge Pony hugs)))))))))))) horsefly

September 1, 2007
1:14 am
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Horsefly- I ask myself what I could have done different with my husband. The only conclusion I could reach was I should have straight up gotten in his face and told him to F-off the first time he pulled his shit on me. I was stupid for ever putting up with it. I cant go back but I go forward.

My daughter just called from jail. My X who just passed away was a federal agent. His friends from the force showed up and are getting her out. I am happy about that. But what makes me mad is she is talking about using her inheritance to get some looser drug dealing boyfriend bailed out of jail and a lawyer. I have her money but I didnt tell her. I hope her dads friends dont get her out of jail so she doesnt do something stupid with her money.

I hope your son calls soon. I know he will.

September 5, 2007
6:00 pm
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horsefly
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Destiny, I hope you are doing well........I would love a huge workhorse today . I love the looks of them.....Horsefly

September 6, 2007
1:32 am
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Horsefly- What is a huge workhorse? I would love to be around horses. But I cant afford it. I saw a 5 month old Grulla Quarter horse. He was sooo adorable. But the kids are a priority.
Hope all is well with you.

Destiny

September 18, 2007
9:30 am
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horsefly
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Hello Destiny, How are you ? By the way , I was thinking about a clysdale. I love them. Have you ever been around them? I hope you are doing alright. That is a kind of work horse. HP! horsefly

September 18, 2007
9:38 am
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Hi. I bailed my daughter out of jail. Then I bought her a new Toyota corolla. Today she is marriying her fiance. Very busy. She is pregnant so I am helping her take care of her affairs should she get a jail sentance.

I am working on a contract to buy an unborn foal.

My husband is still in jail. He thinks he can say lets just put everything behind us and rewrite history. Not. I wrote a letter and let him know that I know what really happened. Who know what he will do when he reads the truth. I let him know that I filed divorce and sold the cabin for a very good reason. I got the collect calls cut off so they dont even go through. That way I wont know if he calls or not. This severing the ties thing is a process. Wish I could wake up and have it over with.

Did you hear from your son?

Hugs

Destiny

September 18, 2007
9:53 am
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horsefly
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Destiny, You are always so on the ball with everything. I am in awe. I am glad your daughter is out ( that has to be a relief even if she needed the experience ). So she is getting married? Is this her first child? Well, So you did the next best thing instead of breaking the phone you blocked the calls. GOOD . I know it is hard for you, but isn't he gonna be in there till next year sometime? You have got to move on with your life. But of course at you own timing. I went through alot of back and forth shit before I quit the last ex. completely. And no I haven't heard from my son. I really don't expect to for awhile. I guess I need to call his new bride and check , if anyone knows anything she would be the one. It is just so horrifying to me to even think or look at the news of what is going on in Iraq..........so I avoided it because it is sooooo out of my hands. But the goods news is I have been feeling alot better lately. I must be on a different level with accepting my breakup with the ex. It is starting to feel OK, I might be starting to heal. I have my medication straightened out. I had a real bad spell last week.........so I have been taking better care of myself so I don't aggravate my arm and shoulder. Well enough for now...........write back if you can........HP! horsefly

September 18, 2007
11:34 pm
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Horsefly- My daughter is married to a caring man with a big heart. A man from Mexico. I really like him. This is the 2nd baby.

I am getting better for some reason with the reality of letting him go. It is good that I talk to him so that I dont fantasize and forget what a looser he is.

First, he was sorry and wanted to change. Now he is back to his usual self and trying to get the docs in jail to give him some pain meds. Blaming me for everything.

I cant take meds but I do have a drink. Like one. Sorry, cant all be perfect.

Hope your son is OK

Hugs.

Destiny

September 19, 2007
7:50 am
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hi you two, i admire your stick-to-it-tiveness. you see the red flags and are on it destiny. your strength is a great shield for your future. your daughter is lucky to have you in her life. and congratulations on the new grandbabe to be. send me some positive vibes cause you have them girl.

horsefly...wow...i never knew anyone to get a clydesdale horse...such strength there too. and so beautiful in mane and stance. i hope you continue to feel better each day. cause you always make me feel better just reading your posts.

you are both in an OKAY corral. and did either of you think that most folks are like a bob-wire fence? They have their good points. i have a knack for seeing the good when i should see the bad and, therefore, get knocked out of the corral by not paying attention to the flags.......i'm a sittin in the stands watching your progress through the fence and getting good inspiration from you....thanks.

September 19, 2007
11:46 am
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horsefly
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lalasgirl, Thank you too, that was so thoughtful of you to post that. I read your posts alot. I admire you for your quick wit and the way you write your words. I cracked up thinking of me actually getting a clysdale right now............I don't even have a place for a burro. ( I was just trying to get destiny"s attention). But I do love them. Once I had a place where they parked their trailers at , I got a close up and talked to the grooms and all that. Yes the Budweiser Clysdales are beautiful beasts. So you are OK here too at the OK Corral, horsefly

September 19, 2007
1:08 pm
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horsefly
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Destinyhorse, I just remembered the dream I had this morning. I had a strange dream I was around these bears. The biggest bear came charging at me and was about to bite me and then I woke up. I also thought in my dream how much I remeally love bears and why would it want to kill me ? ( I do love bears). Geesh..........wonder if it was related to my horsebites......who knows. This is good that you like your daughter's fiancee. Much better than if you didn't. I have all the faith in you that you will figure out what to do with the "man behind the bars". Well I am gallloping off over the hill, HP! horsefly

September 19, 2007
9:44 pm
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Hello Horsefly- YOu have Post traumatic Stress disorder X2. One from the X the other from the horse. The bear resembles the man you were with and you intense feelings of love that you once had. You really loved this guy and cannot understand why he would want to kill you. I think you loved horses but not the same way you loved that man. I think you understood that it is the nature of an animal to attack because it is an animal and cannot reason. But the man you will never understand cause he did know right from wrong and chose to harm you for no good reason. I also had a dream about a bear. It was at my back door, I was terrified. It wanted to kill me as well. My husband is hairy and reminds me of a bear.

September 19, 2007
9:46 pm
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lala- Welcome to the OK corral. Us three need to get boundaries as effective as a barb wired fenced. We should get horses and enjoy them and stay away from men. Can I say an A-men to that (LOL)

September 24, 2007
10:53 am
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horsefly
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Destiny, Where the hell are you ? My son is trying to get hold of me........he is leaving for Iraq in 2 days. I thought he had already left.......Red Alert ! horsefly

September 24, 2007
11:09 am
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horsefly
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Destinyhorse, I am just a little upset and I know you understand.....I am sure and I hope you are busy......so check in when you can...........HP! horsefly

September 24, 2007
11:17 am
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Wow...are you ok horsefly? I am sorry he is in this mess here, my heart goes out to you...if u want to talk, I am here for alittle bit longer here.

September 24, 2007
11:24 am
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horsefly
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Thanks so much Survivor, Yes I am OK but the reality of it is horrifing to me. See I am just an old hippie and my son has been in the marine reserves for 4 years and they called him up in Jan, Hippie mom and Marine son? Go figure ...........Long story. But I have had alot of time to get use to the situation,,,,,,but is is like you say a BIG MESS! I try not to think much about it until the phone rings and then the twilight zone starts again for me. He will be gone along time and he is my only child. Thanks again Survivor

September 24, 2007
11:32 am
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(((HORSEFLY))))) I hear you, I am also against this occupation for profits and power too, I am soo sorry here, I wish there was something I could say here, but I have an only too, and she often thinks the war is great cause they brainwash her to think that way at the local school, its a very dark town here, heads in the sand, flag and bibles etc...Ugh...I am sending you good thoughts, whatever i can here, I can't even begin to know how you must feel, how he must feel right now, going into that, god this world is falling apart here.

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