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The Nightmare has Begun
August 23, 2006
8:36 pm
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ggfred4
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YEAH! P&L!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You are so right!(((((P&L)))))

August 23, 2006
10:04 pm
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Anonymous
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Okay, I didn't follow through with anything today, because I didn't feel well, and I didn't feel ready. My instincts said "not yet." I just can't be pushed into doing anything I am not ready to do...in doing so, I had a lot of enlightening thoughts about how to proceed in a way not that I hope will diminish the harm to me, but I have to get the okay from my outside consult before I move forward. I just can only do what I am ready to do when I am ready to do it. It doesn't mean I am staying...it just means I have to feel as safe as possible, and as you all know, I have not felt safe. So, I am listening to that. Something is not right yet.

August 23, 2006
10:07 pm
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Anonymous
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Stronginhim posted something on another thread that mentions the "coordinated exit." That about sums up what I am trying to do.

gg, thaniks for writing. you are a sweetie.

August 23, 2006
10:08 pm
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StronginHim77
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Trust your instincts...move when you have a "peace" on it.

And don't be afraid. Your Higher Power is with YOU...not the enemy.

- Strong

August 23, 2006
11:07 pm
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Anonymous
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Decisions accompanied by quiet and peace are the best! For your mind and your body!!!

August 23, 2006
11:15 pm
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Anonymous
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p & l-keep us posted. want to see u come out on the other side of this mess happy, whole and healthy........praying for u.

August 23, 2006
11:43 pm
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Anonymous
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hi everyone-

I just love you all. How is that possible? I don't even know you? Let's focus on something really positive for us all. I want to share this thought. You know in this time of turmoil, kind people have come to my side, including all of you, and my wonderful mentors. So today, I realized, there is no hurry. I have basically put into effect NO CONTACT with the main person. However, there are the allies who I have to deal with next. I also have to deal with how it will affect my career. My decision could put me at risk in many ways, because I think I am seen as a threat. I think their main goal is to keep me from talking. So, when that is the case, one has to be concerned. At least, I already informed them of my intentions.

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night, and I felt like I stopped breathing. I thought I was going to die. I don't know what happened. I was in such a deep sleep that I could not force myself to stay awake. I just thought if I am going to die, oh well...it was scary. This thing is killing me. It is really taking its toll. So, today, I decided, there just is no hurry anymore. Sure, I want it over, but it is not worth dying over. Sure, I want the "closure," but in my experience, those who want closure never actually get satisfactory closure. That is, the response is never quite surely the response we need. By implementing my second phase, I may never know that it is over. It may start a whole new phase of stress. I cannot control how people will react. I cannot control any of this. I don't know why it ever happened anyway. So, I just have to try to control what I say so that I don't say anything that could trigger reactions, but who knows, I may anyway. I wish you all knew what I was talking about anyway. Thanks for reading this. Well, you know it is a situation at work with a colleague who did stuff and I got into a terrible situation that I became aware of and I got hurt, and became afraid, and then it got worse and worse because the people I thought could help just seemed to want it to go away. That is it in a nutshell. It has gone on for a very long time, and now I have to save myself and in such a situation, there is no winning.

August 23, 2006
11:52 pm
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ggfred4
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P&L, I also wonder how I can care for people I do not know nor never will???? Even with this, I am afraid to trust, let my guard down, etc.

You sound like your strong self with the last note. I hope you realize how many on this site are worried about you and care for you. Still weird to have those feelings w/words only...

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