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The message of I Miss You....
September 29, 2009
7:18 pm
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OopsADaisyFuentes
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So these days i have more questions than answers..so i thought i would pose some to the group here and see what kinda feedback I could get on them.

When someone says "I miss you"...what is your general feeling? Do you feel touched that someone genuinely values your presence in their lives and when you are not around or vice versa..it is noticed. Or do you take it as..they are trying to make you feel guilty for not being around more and that they expect you to do something about that! Or even if they dont expect it..you put that pressure on yourself?

September 29, 2009
7:32 pm
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fantas
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I have a lazy nature when it comes to these things, so I just take it for what it is and thank them for missing me. One could go nuts trying to figure out what the intentions of another person are.

September 30, 2009
9:04 am
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atalose
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Oops,

I think I see where you are going with this based on your other post I would ask you this:

What outcome are you seeking by sending her a text saying “I miss you”?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

September 30, 2009
1:59 pm
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OopsADaisyFuentes
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no atalose..this one believe it or not was just out of general frustration. So many of my friends take the attitude when i say to them "I miss you" that i am trying to guilt them or tell them they need to be around more etc..and really in all honesty..its me saying..I appreciate this moment with you (if we are currently speaking) or you are being thought about and cherished (if by email etc..) shrugs..i guess for me..i don't like leaving the little things to chance..i have lost too many people in my life and i like those that are important to me to know it. It's not a guilt thing but when they turn it around like that..it makes me stuff those feelings inside, afraid that they will take it the wrong way. Its frustrating.

September 30, 2009
2:26 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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maybe instead of saying "I miss you" - you could say "thinking of you"....that way there is no possible underlying passive manipulation going on (not that there is, just could be perceived)

frankly, when someone says I miss you - I take it at face value - BUT - my husband is a pouty face alot - so I could see it as "you aren't giving me the attention I want" kind of message - and if your friends/family perceive you in that light (in any way) - they could interpret it as that - even if it's just a simple message.

But thinking of you sends more of the message that I think you want to send (based on what you just wrote)

September 30, 2009
2:35 pm
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atalose
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Couldn’t agree more with risings suggestion, changing how you word things could make all the difference.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

September 30, 2009
5:07 pm
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OopsADaisyFuentes
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ooooooooo i like that rising! I actually tried it today on a text to a friend i havent heard from in ages..we'll see how it goes. And when i am talking to the person..maybe just saying..I am glad you are here etc..shows them I dont take them or the moment for granted without adding that extra guilt or pressure 🙂 i'm learning. thanks for the input

October 5, 2009
6:44 pm
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beginagain
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September 27, 2010
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I think it depends on who is saying it and why - if they are really users or needy it can make you feel a bit yeugh but if it's someone who you are close to it's nice to be missed and that they tell me. I don't say it to people at all but do tell them that I love being with them and how much I liked their company. If I havn't been in touch for a while I usually get in touch and say I like to catch up with them! saves the 'miss you' being misinterpreted. Interesting though how different people react isn't it.

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