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The man i love dosent believe in God!!!!!
May 11, 2005
1:44 pm
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Im in love and he dosent believe in God, I cant believe that how cant he. I think thats really rude and desrespectfull to the one that has givin you everything. Im so sad because i do love him. What should i do?
Sole**

May 11, 2005
1:50 pm
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kc30
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that sucks...it seems like a pretty big clash in values...to put it mildly!!!

You know, he's entitled to believe (or not believe) whatever he wants. It's his life...and even though it goes against your beliefs, it's not really your place to decide if he's right or wrong...

Let's put the attention on you...obviously this is VERY important to you, so honour your own beliefs and do what you need to be at peace. If believing in God is important in a partner, then I think you have your answer?

Sucks doesn't it...but the best relationships are ones where the partners share at least similar values....doens't work so well if you're worlds apart.

What do you want to do? Seems like you have 3 choices....

Stay with a man who doesn't believe in God...stay with him and try to change him into a man who does believe in God....or find a man who is just as good as he is who does believe in God.

Which one sounds the most appealing?
kc

May 11, 2005
1:52 pm
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kathygy
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sole, its sounds like you are being disrespectful to him and judgemental of him just because he doesn't believe as you do. He deserves to be respected for his own beliefs. He has the complete right not to believe in God. Stop judging him and accept him as he is. The most important thing is how he treats you. If you cannot accept him and his beliefs let him go. Have you had an honest and open conversation with him about this issue without judging him? Why is it so important to you that he believe in God?

May 11, 2005
2:04 pm
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chickyfighter
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Soledad, although the responses above are definitely great, I can agree and tell you from experience that when core values do not match, there is always drama, and I would not put myself in that dilemma.

May 11, 2005
2:08 pm
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kc30
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Well said chicky....I think the drama comes from "trying to change" someone else into what we want them to be, rather than just finding someone who is already what we want?

How many times do we just fall in love with potential?

May 11, 2005
2:22 pm
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Thankyou all
Sole**

May 11, 2005
3:57 pm
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THEBIGDODDY
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I have a question for you Soledad..

What does it mean to believe in G-d?

What does it mean to YOU, that is?

Is this man a confirmed Atheist, or does he take issue with the G-d that is worshipped by a certain religion?

I ask that, because, for the most part, they (religions) are really not talking about the same thing, but yet again, they are.

May 11, 2005
4:25 pm
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Rasputin
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Sole,

Give your B/F a chance and sometime. He might change; but then again he might not.

If he changes, great! If he does not, then you are better off without him and you can move on with your life without any regret.

Best of luck!

Rasputin

May 11, 2005
5:10 pm
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To Thebigdoddy:

I mean believe he is the most important thing in the world and believe we are here because of him. He thinks where here from some evolutio , i dont know something like that. And i get mad because i feel really sad he thinks God is like nothing. But i guess i have to respect that but i dont share the opinion.
Sole**

May 11, 2005
10:25 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Sole:

I cannot quote scripture in support but if you'll meet me upstairs in the usual place and I'll share with you up there. :).

May 11, 2005
10:43 pm
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Emperorsclothes
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The most loving person, accepts and loves their loved ones..unconditionally.

May 12, 2005
1:08 am
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ams
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it could be meant for you to be with him to help him find god not to push your beliefs on him but learn by your actions and by talking to him about it be kind he is lost and needs help but don't put your whole life on hold for him to see the light you will know when it's time to let him go or not...prey for him and it will happen

May 12, 2005
3:37 am
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godsgirl
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I don't think that you are judging him. If you believe in God than it is important to be in a realationship with someone who shares you beliefs otherwise you are going to waste you time trying to change them. I have seen this too many times. We all want to be in love, but no one wants to wait for the right one. It is important for you to share certain beliefs if you are going to be in a commited relationship... and this is not being judgemental.... It is the truth that relationships work better when you share the core things in your life...

May 12, 2005
8:43 am
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CAMER
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there is nothing you can do to change him. And he has every right to believe and not believe in what he wants to. Now, its up to you, for your own values and beliefs if you want to continue the relationship with him, or do you think this will cause problems??

May 12, 2005
10:17 am
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glittered when he walked
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sole,

while you might think his lack of belief is rude. He does not.

This issue isn't rudeness. The issue is can you build a relationship with somneone whose spiritiuality is a good bit different than yours?

Judging his belief system won't solve the problem. Assessing both of your abilities to deal with differing beliefs in a relationship is a good start. It seems like the difference is important to you..have you spoken to him? how does he feel? does he know that it troubles you? why does it trouble you?

May 12, 2005
10:56 am
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Hi:
Thankyou all! Godsgirl this is true im very worried because i do love hima and a person that dosent believe in God dosent follow or his comitments and he does his a great man and father, he is faithfull,careful with me because he is 10 years older than me so he really understand smy moods, he always takes care of me and he really makes me happy, so i say he really is a great man. I dont want to loose him but i would like to share what makes me the most happy which is God, maybe just to hear him say that thanks to him we meet but he thinks its some kind of weird evolution, i dont know the thing is i really want to marry him but the most important thing for me is just with out meaning at all for him.
Im sorry im drying like i have no way out, man this is killing me.
Sole**

May 16, 2005
1:58 am
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godsgirl
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Sole,
I want to tell you about my dad. My parents were married for 28 years before he died of cancer a few years ago. My dad was the best dad ever, a faithful husband too. I miss him so much. He was the kind of dad that did a lot with his kids, dependable, kind, and sometimes stern. He would take us camping, golfing, fishing. I miss him so much. Him and my mom had a good relationship, i think i only heard them fight twice in the 18 years i was at home and it was about God. My dad use to believe in evolution too. 2 weeks before he died he asked Jesus to come into his life. God became real to him in his last days. The thing is my mom wasn't a christian when they got married, she became one after the fact. My dad would go to church on holidays but nothing more. She wanted him to so bad, and she prayed all of those years. She loved him so much, but she always had a lonely part becasue she couldn't share that part of her life with him. It hard thing is that they're aren't very men like my dad, and sometimes the ones that claim to be christians aren't really. You have to know a person for a longer period of time to see who they really are, aren't. I know that you will make the right decision. I just know that my mom really wanted that, and she devoted her life to praying for my dad. Then about 4 years after he died she got married again to a man that is nothing like my dad, I really don't like him. And she as tried to make him believe like she does but he is nothing like that. It was just what she wanted him to be. Sometimes when people are lonely they settle, thinking that the right thing is too good to be true or will never come around. So they bank on wanting to change somebody into what he wish they were. This is so sad. Because usually they were happier alone.
Luv, Godsgirl

May 16, 2005
8:20 am
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CODA_Mom
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Hey sole,

Can't say this enough...

This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
-Shakespeare-Hamlet

You have posted:

"I dont want to loose him but i would like to share what makes me the most happy which is God..."

This is the truth about yourself, how will that impact your relationship?

As mamac has suggested, this thread can be continued in Lib Brew area.

Regards,

CM

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