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The love of my life just broke my heart
March 23, 2001
12:43 pm
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Melha
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Last weekend, my boyfriend pretty much dumped me. I was completely devistated and had no idea it was coming. We have been talking about marriage, and I'm still sure he is "the one." He said he needs to be alone right now, but other than that I'm not sure what's going on in his head. He said he doesn't want to date anyone right now, but I don't understand how this could have happened at this point in our relationship. I realize everyone goes through these things at some point in their lives, but I am having a really hard time dealing. I have been seriously depressed all week and have even gotten to the point that I'm not sure I want to live because my future looks so bleak. I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how you overcame.

March 23, 2001
12:56 pm
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Molly
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Where do you think all the Country Western music comes from? Of course we have all been through this, rejection always sucks, and hurts. This is his loss, obviously he needs to realize this, committment fear? How old are you both? How long have you been dating? Have you both lived your dreams? Now go treat your self, find a spa, find a gym, and go raise your endorphine levels. Go wash that man right out of your hair. Be strong, don't call him, don't drive by his house, or job, be busy. Let him have his space, and if he comes around if some one else hasn't caught your eye, you might consider it, but most of all be greatful that this happened now, than after the engagement, or the marriage, and children. Think about you not him right now.

March 23, 2001
4:39 pm
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Ladeska
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Molly said it quite nicely. This isn't about you, it's about "him" and you need to let him sort it out while - you take care of "you". Otherwise, you are going to set a pattern here for always taking the blame and responsibiity for "fixing" whatever goes wrong in the relationship. Um.....there are "two" people here - not just "one". He's a big boy - let him - deal with it all on his own. If he's going to be the head of a family, your husband and your children's father - he'd better go.......figure it out and you had better - let him.

You don't want a weak man and a man that's - not sure about what he's doing or about his own - confidence level. You need to step back and seriously look at this. He's probably questionning himself here and if he has what it takes. You don't need to interfere, to try and answer the questions for him or to try and make it better. dye your hair a different color, go get a breat implant, dance on the table or anything except - chill......and let him hold his own pants up. You go fingerpaint, blow bubbles, get your nails done, go out with your friends and see what he does. It's very important that you let him figure it out and that you don't become codependent here. Big misery for you ahead if you do not heed this warning.

March 23, 2001
6:51 pm
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gingerleigh
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Spend time with your friends. A lot of it. Spend time alone too, but when you get lonely and sad, get out and distract yourself with some platonic companionship. Vent with your girlfriends, go do girly things, shop, eat nutella right out of the jar with a spoon, whatever.

Also, avoid contact with your ex. Don't make any efforts to be his friend or patch things up. And above all, do NOT allow "casual sex" with him to happen because you get lonely. It will hurt you in the long run.

You WILL be sad and hurt for a while, but eventually you will be yourself again and feel better.

March 26, 2001
1:44 pm
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azza
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this is quite ordinary..but i know how does it feel when someone is letting you down...well Melha...i guess you're going to get through this anyway dear...i know my message is not as complicated as what you have in thought right now...but believe me...it is really normal to feel very sad in this kinda situation...as gingerleigh has said...youll be sad and hurt for a while....and then youll be getting better then dear

April 2, 2001
12:44 am
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Anonymous
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This made me think about something, there was a time I wanted to die and would walk in front of oncoming cars to see just how close they would come to me and if i would get hit and die or better yet end up in the hospital so the loser would come running back to me and want me again, know what?

What I would of missed out on 8 years later if that would happened?

A Husband, A beautiful baby and a life that I swear is enough for me!

Things change, time heals most aches and pains, but death never does-it is just a ending-no planning, no laughing, no more chances. none.

Peace and Blessings,
LNR

April 3, 2001
1:43 pm
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SNOOPY86
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YOU KNOW THAT KINDA SHIT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF EVERYONE. SORRY IT HAD TO BE YOU.

April 3, 2001
1:44 pm
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SNOOPY86
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YOU KNOW THAT KINDA SHIT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF EVERYONE. SORRY IT HAD TO BE YOU.

April 8, 2001
6:45 pm
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godzooks
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Mehla,
Honey, I know it is hard when you lose a First one,Close to marriage or not. The thing is that I had lost a close love not once but twice. My first one told me the exact same thing, He doesn't need a relationship right now.He Always told me all these things he wanted to do for me, and He would tell me how much he loved me, and then bam just like that he dumbed.My other one I just got over, we never got to see eachother anymore and he was always to busy for me, I had to call it quits, and when I did I found out that he had been cheating on me with his ExGirlfriend, I thought o myself "He said he loved me, what did I do that would make him cheat on me?" you know Mehla, I realized, It is what I didn't do. It was what he did, He is the one who hert what could have been the best thing for us. He hert that thought of mine deep down inside that,"Maybe one day we would get married. he put that thought in my head, and ripped it back out. I made myself Believe to this day that, Life is one big party when you are Dating and you always wounder who you are going to get back when it is all done. It was His loss Mehla, His Loss. relationships come and go, but friendships are always going to be there for you, when you get hert becaose of a relationship, you look to yourself, you are your friend now,you make yourself get threw it and you make yourself get over it. He will realize what he is missing out on and how much he misses you. You just make the best for you, and do not worry about him. He lost you,Remember? Keep it that way, you do not need to lose your life over something that everyone goes through everyday.
Melah,
You know how you said you still think that he is "The One." well honey, if he was the one he would not have hert you, he would be with you right now,and trust me when you do find the one you will know, not think.He will treat you like a real Queen, the way you should be treated, you sound like areally sweat Lady, and i wish you the best of luck.

April 8, 2001
6:49 pm
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godzooks
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Mehla,
Honey, I know it is hard when you lose a First one,Close to marriage or not. The thing is, I had lost a close love not once but twice. My first one told me the exact same thing, He doesn't need a relationship right now.He Always told me all these things he wanted to do for me, and He would tell me how much he loved me, and then bam just like that he dumbed me.My other one I just got over, we never got to see eachother anymore and he was always to busy for me, I had to call it quits, and when I did I found out that he had been cheating on me with his ExGirlfriend, I thought to myself "He said he loved me, what did I do that would make him cheat on me?" you know Mehla, I realized, It is what I didn't do. It was what he did, He is the one who hert what could have been the best thing for us. He hert that thought of mine deep down inside that,"Maybe one day we would get married. he put that thought in my head, and ripped it back out. I made myself Believe to this day that, Life is one big party when you are Dating and you always wounder who you are going to get back when it is all done. It was His loss Mehla, His Loss. relationships come and go, but friendships are always going to be there for you, when you get hert in a relationship, you look to yourself, you are your friend now,you make yourself get threw it and you make yourself get over it. He will realize what he is missing out on and how much he misses you. You just make the best for you, and do not worry about him. He lost you,Remember? Keep it that way, you do not need to lose your life over something that everyone goes through everyday.
Mehla,
You know how you said you still think that he is "The One." well honey, if he was the one he would not have hert you, he would be with you right now,and trust me when you do find the one you will know, not think.He will treat you like a real Queen, the way you should be treated, you sound like areally sweat Lady, and i wish you the best of luck.

April 13, 2001
3:08 pm
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pg lova
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Melha,

Believe me, I understand but there will be a second time around maybe he wasn't the one. I am 19 and in my 4th relationship that is "close to marriage." It's okay.

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