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The little nuisance!
November 13, 2002
11:27 am
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syqg
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Yep, that was me. Parents divorced when I was two. Then my chaotic world began! Wasn't all bad, just never felt "normal". Three marriages by mom, Three by dad.....with several "live ins" in between. With my mother I was very lucky to have her second husband love me and treat me good. Then came number three......alcoholic, selfish, abusive, loud.....irresponsible. Then number three.......just as bad. But they "cared" about me........hmmmmmmmm. With my dad's relationships it seemed to go soooooooo deep with me inside though. Every woman in his life has openly acted "irritated" by my mere existance. They have openly acted jealous. They were most of the time "allowed" to come between a daughter and her father.........he allowed it. He has apologized, I have gotten over it. Life goes on. There was one "live in"(makes me ache inside when I think of how they didn't even have to have committment to my dad to come between us) she despised me and my mother. My mother was/is very beautiful.....but everyone could clearly see that there was nothing between my parents for over 14 years at that time, but still this woman was unreal. She constantly "dictated" what was going to be said to me by my dad, where would go, when I would visit, when i "had" to leave, and how late I should call my dad. I called one night at 12 because my mom was losing it, going through divorce, i was failing in school, grandma had died, friends can't talk after 9..........hmmmmmmmm now all that would make ya wanna call your daddy wouldn't you think? Well they argued for days i'm sure......and she made sure to let me know next time she talked to me to not call after 10 because she was sleeping.......... I blame most of this on dad(well i did, i've forgiven and moved on and we are close now) That was MY father, I was his daughter, i was blood, I was the life committment, I was the one committed to love him forever, take care of him when old......give him grandchildren....it's deep. I really pray and hope that anyone getting involved with a parent will come to realize that unless you are prepared to not come first alot, not have final word, not have right to dictate relationship with child......that they would back off until they reason through on whether to continue with the relationship at all. Children for so long have had no voice with all of this divorcing going on........it's sad. If I saw the woman now I would gladly let her know how little by little her pettiness and jealousy robbed me of security and time with my only daddy I will ever have in this lifetime.......she went on to marry and have 2 girls of her own. I wonder if they need her after 10 if they are welcomed and loved enough to call?

November 13, 2002
1:04 pm
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mj
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Right on!

November 13, 2002
1:10 pm
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syqg
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Thanks Mj. I read what you wrote on my other thread A child's voice.....I am just fine. I grew up. Moved on inside. I healed. I have a good relationship with my dad now. I was ignored most of my childhood. I now pour all of that into my own 3 kids! (Most of the time that is....I still see myself "ignoring them" in small ways and then I catch myself) I wrote these threads because I seen alot in this room that reminded me of my own childhood.....just thought I would put a different view. I also see the step parents view as well. I know it must be very hard to adjust....we just need to remember that it's EVERYBODY adjusting and noone is more important than the children.......NOONE, even the love of your life you may think you have found.....children should come first and no explanaions or apologies for that. :o)

November 13, 2002
1:36 pm
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mj
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Amen

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