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The keyboard is your friend Mase!
June 13, 2007
11:25 pm
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Mase
Canada! Eh!
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June 14, 2007
12:05 am
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Mase
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Well I think I need to reflect on my day to day life.

Today: I fell apart right after class.

was so inbarest! I was looking into the microscope {oil emersion if any one cares}and was fighting back the tears of fustration, from the flashbacks of high school.{all is 100% true!} Of someone puting a heated probe into my skin, broken glass slides one my chair {and me so transfixed on what I was doing didn't notice. Picking glass out of my ass.

Bad directions for doing RBC blood smears! Not being able to finish the lab.

New found respect for hospital Lab tech's no wonder they get the big bucks $$$$$$!!!!!.

Put the cleaner down by the sink and walked past everyone in my lab coat, and sat down in the landry room and cryed.

Just panicked! And stressed and being overhelmed none of the other students nocked on the door. I don't know what I would have done. It took me at least 20 min to regain so form of non crying.

Thought of what the prof. had sayed and how she said one of our pations had DIED. Not passed away!

I didn't sign the card, I was so pissed off.

Althought I only grommed the dog a few times, I didn't think it would bother me so much. I guess it was the combo.

I procrasnating but trying to find some release/{and feel better}

I want a shower it's 11 45 pm and if I do I will start world war III with the roomate from hell!

It's like walking on egg shells and glass all at the same time.

where was I, walked back to res. and layed in bed and hypeyvenaled and cryed for about 45min to an hour.

Missed part of my afternoon class,caught the last half on the break. Didn't miss much. was exusted.

Found some energy and went food shoping.

Cheese was on sale. That happens on very rare ocainions, thus worth mentioning. Yahoo!

I now have over a yard of cheese in my frige!

I'm just like an chinchilla when I get stressed I lose my hair.

NOW WHERE GETING TO THE RANDOM STUPID THOUGHTS THAT ARE RATTLING AROUND IN MY HEAD.

SLEEP.

Don't pull and allnighter.MASE!

Haven't studied a page and I have a final in less than 30 some hours.

My head is just spining I can't type fast enuf.

well sorry about spelling

S.A.S

-Mase

June 14, 2007
12:18 am
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mamacinnamon
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((((((mase)))))))

June 14, 2007
7:27 am
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Hi Mase,
Time difference here...as you to bed..middle of the day this side.

Sorry about the lab experience and flash back.Big hug.

Cheese is good though!..hope not before bed as it is supposed to make you dream+++.If you are dreaming,I hope it is somewhere safe,happy and loving....nature/animals?Like a big field, multitudes of wild flowers,warm glowing sunshine and can you see that beautiful strong horse way in the distance charging across the field full of freedom and life.

Hoping you're ok.
Rewind

June 14, 2007
10:55 am
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red blonde
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Mase ~

Fantas gave me this website on a different thread. It deals with abuse survivors, but there are many many topics that could be of use to you - on stress, self-esteem, self-nurturing, relaxation. I just went on the website and printed some of the self-nurturing suggestions and also the relaxation ones.

http://www.asca.org.au/survivors

I hope you can apply some of this to yourself.

The most important thing is to keep posting and talking about what you have been and are going through!

My issues may not be the same as yours but pain is pain, and feelings are feelings....and in that respect - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

(((((MASE)))))

Red

June 15, 2007
12:23 am
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Mase
Canada! Eh!
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Well another day done, the weekend should be fun. Ohh I said the "F word". I must be off my rocker. Went to the Dr. today I have to get an Radiograph done of my foot it's gone numb she thinks I sprained it! Have ice on it now. I did somthing to it 2weeeks ago thur.

Have to study, have no convidance about test tomorrow - at this point dont't care!

Had meeting with head proff. I think she thinks somthings up!

June 15, 2007
12:39 am
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Mase
Canada! Eh!
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-More random thoughts

Sorry stupid computer it has a mind of its own.

Geting back to what I was saying ya,

she was nicer that usual.

Whent out for coffie but had tea.

The gerber daisys I bought are root bound have to find a way to trasplant, and get more realy good soil. Thats going to be weird. They make me happy. I plan to put some fake one on my fathers grave when I go, if I go.

-Mase

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