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the hardest thing I had to do- turned him away-- I'm a mess and need help to be strong- thedogsmom
May 4, 2007
11:36 am
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thedogsmom
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Well, He was there ringing the doorbell this morning. I didn't answer-- took a shower and got ready for work after another night with little sleep.
When I got ready to leave- he was still there so I just opened the door a crack and told him to go away. He was standing there crying, looking very pitiful and asked me if I could loan him ten dollars. I FLEW INTO my SCREAMING NUTTY RAGE and told him I would NOT LEND him any money-- that I just looked at his paycheck and discovered that he had only worked 6 out of 18 weeks this year! that he couldn't pay me back IF HE DIDN"T go to WORK! That I was TIRED and I had to go to work now to pay all these BILLS and he needs to GO to his work Employee Assistance PROGRAM and ask them for HELP to enroll in a drug rehab PROGRAM! or turn to his friends or family for Help -- because he is making me ILL and I cannot help him any longer! He asked If I could please let him in to use the computer so he could write a letter for work. I told him to go to the library to do that- handed him his paycheck. Told him to please get help- that I couldn't help anymore and drove off to work in the rain-- sobbing my head off. I am so scared for him! He drove off in his run-down BMW with no tags or insurance... and I'm going to have to try to make it through another grueling 10 hour day of back to back patients! It feels so cruel....this tough love...but I know it has to stop somewhere..
thanks for letting me vent..
and for all your help to get me here.
couldn't survive without this site.
TDM

May 4, 2007
11:41 am
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Randomwomen2
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((Thedogsmom)) I am so sorry for your pain sweetheart. You will get through this hunny.

May 4, 2007
11:48 am
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StronginHim77
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You absolutely, positively, totally did the right thing. I know you are feeling sick and devastated (and possibly guilty?), but your behavior was HEALTHY and non-enabling. Remember that he will never bottom out and face himself, then seek the recovery he needs, until everyone stops enabling and tolerating his lack of responsibility and selfishness. He is not a little child; he is an adult. HOLD ONTO THAT FACT.

If he were your 6-year-old son, you would correct him, give him a penalty for his misbehavior and move on. But he is an ADULT who is choosing to leech off anyone who will support him and his irresponsibility. Time for him to grow up.

I am also glad that you vented some of your (just) anger toward his behavior. Everything you said (or yelled -- who cares which?) was RIGHT ON. He needs to face his substance abuse issues, seek treatment on his OWN initiative, (rather than have you mothering him and forcing him to do it because that is sheer codependence), maintain steady employment, pay his own bills, support himself and get off the Selfish-Manipulation-of-Others-Train.

Most importantly, you took a very big step in taking care of YOURSELF. You finally drew a healthy -- and certainly difficult -- boundary, to protect yourself from his manipulative tactics and abuse. I am so very, very proud of you. You have come so far and in such a short time.

Remember, you did the best thing for him AND for you. Do not beat yourself up for it What you did was GOOD, GOOD, GOOD!!! And I am sure that everyone who spots this thread today is going to echo my genuine delight in seeing you take such a Giant Step away from an unhealthy relationship. You are, indeed, recovering. You have begun to take care of yourself, instead of existing to "fix" someone else (who doesn't deserve you). He has to fix himself. Heck...he has to WANT to fix himself. He will never get there with you in the picture.

I know you are hurting, but take deep breaths, maintain NO CONTACT and keep posting. We are here for you.

HUGS.

Ma Strong

May 4, 2007
11:58 am
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Loralei
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(((TDM))) I am so proud of you!!! You did exactly the right thing in this situation. Yes, it is tough love, but it is the only way to get him to wake up and get his act together. Otherwise, nothing will ever change.

If you look out for yourself first, then everyone else will either fall in line or they will go find someone else to mooch from. The important thing is to take care of yourself, your physical and mental health, and work toward digging yourself out of the debt that your deadbeat druggie mired you in. Stay strong!!

I was raised by a codependent mother who put everyone ahead of herself and she taught me to do the same. The obedient, submissive, doormat who never gets to have her needs met was the end product. That is not healthy. We were programmed poorly and we have paid the price for it. We aren't helping anyone by doing things for them that they can do for themselves (such as going to work and earning money). We are only responsible for ourselves and for our young children. Our maternal instincts should not extend to other full functioning adults. Enabling them is harmful to them. If you look at it from that angle, maybe it will be easier to accept it. You are doing so great!!

May 4, 2007
12:53 pm
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lollipop3
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(((TDM)))),

I know how terribly difficult and painful that was but I agree that you did do the right thing.

We're here for you.

Love,
Lolli

May 4, 2007
3:46 pm
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thedogsmom
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Hello All and thanks so much MA STRONG..Loralei...Lolli...and everyone else who has helped here directly or indirectly by advising others.

I am a sobbing mess now...after reading your posts...to think that you all seem to care for me more than he does.....

certainly...I must start caring more for myself.. I feel a sore throat coming on...great..just for the weekend..and again..I know it's due to the lack of sleep...not eating right and weakening immune system..

I am feeling sick, devestated. guilty and scared-- you got it right MA STRONG... but I will survive it... and funny thing is in my head...not my heart ... I know he will survive too... probably better than me ...since he has that happy-go-lucky personality (not to mention the --drugs to lean on)..

I just wonder why the right thing to do... has to feel so mean-cruel-and wrong....to me??
guess it's the whole basis of being codependent. guess letting go..just plain hurts..
I will remind myself of what you have written--need the reinforcement that I have done GOOD-- and that enabling is actually harmful to 'them'..
I sure don't need reminding how harmful it has been to me!

thanks so much for the wonderful and needed support. I feel a tad bit better already. in knowing it is time for a change!
TDM

May 4, 2007
4:52 pm
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StronginHim77
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TDM -

Remember, unless YOU change, he has NO HOPE of change. Repeat: Unless YOU change, he has NO HOPE of change. That is your bottom line of Truth. And you must hang onto that Truth because it is your only Hope...for you...AND for his possible recovery.

I want you to try and shift your focus, though. You are feeling guilty, worried (literally, to the point of physical sickness) and panicked about HIM. What about you? Who is worrying about you? IS HE??? Do you see him, getting a steady job, helping to support you and pay off all debts and becoming a BLESSING to you? A real man wants to protect and care for his woman, not bleed her dry and USE her for his own profit and selfish indulgence.

This is not a real man. But you are a real woman, however wounded by your past. You have the courage, though, to overcome the Past which made you feel comfortable in the role of "fixer" or "rescuer." This role makes you feel needed and -- therefore -- assured of having someone in your life who will not leave you or abandon you because he NEEDS you. Get it?

But this path is a false one. It is like walking on quicksand; it will swallow you alive. The Truth is that a relationship built on a foundation of unhealthy codependency ultimately crumbles because the "fixer" winds up totally drained and destroyed by the manipulative and abusive partner.

If you want to survive, you must step back from this toxic relationship. It will totally destroy you, if you remain within it. You are chasing the "illusion" of having someone "love" you. LOVE doesn't use. LOVE doesn't drain. LOVE doesn't hurt. LOVE doesn't lie, steal or manipulate.

You need to press on with your discovery of self...and find out what LOVE REALLY IS. It's not your fault that you don't know...that you have settled for this toxic man. Your past woundedness set you up for him. But now, you have a choice. You don't have to go through the rest of your life in emotional pain. You can recover and be free of that terrible ache in your heart which has never, quite gone away.

Hang onto that hope. It is do-able. You are well on your way to recovery...of your entire LIFE.

Love,

Ma Strong

May 4, 2007
5:21 pm
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Shaney
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hey dogsmom - we knew there was going to be definite fallout after you made him leave. Well, this is it. His lifeline is gone, and although he's desperately attempting to hold onto it, you're doing a good job at forcing him to rely on himself. That's a good thing, my friend, as hard as it is. You're doing him a favor - believe that. He's perisistent, though... MY GOD. Don't let him manipulate you. Is there a way you can get him a P.O. Box and divert all of his mail (like his check) away from YOUR HOUSE, so he has one less reason to bother you? The more of these surprise visits that you can eliminate, the better. You're so much better off when you don't see him. I can't believe that he wanted to use the computer to write a letter for work..... Why doesn't he just get his butt to work and type a letter THERE??! Six weeks out of EIGHTEEN.... amazing. He will figure this out, I swear. Don't you worry.

May 5, 2007
9:23 am
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Came home from work exhausted and ready to do the same thing I have been doing for the past few years--putting on my pajamas and either crawling into bed to read or more recently- since he's been gone sleeping on my couch with the television.. pitiful--I know..

His car was there in my driveway. I was very upset. I checked for him in the car, the backyard, then thought maybe he had gotten in the house somehow and so I checked the closets, under the beds ;). He is not around.--so far-- but that means he will return- since all three of his cars are still here. The truck I gave him with the recently slashed tires- the old car of mine I gave him to sell for cash, and his prize beamer that needs much work.

I guess he must have either run out of gas money, or been afraid to park it where he hangs out for fear the 'tire-slasher' will also do harm to the beamer.

I actually slept pretty well last night and didn't awake until 4:00am which is better than the usual 2:00.

My parents are leaving town for a weeks vacation and I think I will go stay over at their house so that I will not be around WHEN he comes back. Then it's only two more weeks before I go on vacation myself with my best girlfriends of 30-something years!

He doesn't know of my parents plans, of my plans, or that I changed my work schedule so that I no longer have the same days off that he has. This will make it more difficult for him to see me.

I will call his brother and tell his family of the update- that I officially kicked him out and that he is now homeless and soon will be jobless IF he continues to drug and/or feel sorry for himself instead of work.

This whole business of putting out the addict- is REALLY much harder than I thought it would be- and unfortunately I do have the dreaded 'butterflies and sick feeling in my stomach" that comes with heartbreak. But you have all convinced me and I know now, that you are right. I am doing the right thing. And I'm doing it really for MY OWN survival!

Thanks MaStrong --I read your last post to my poor codependent girlfriend yesterday. She is the one living with a man who has cheated and mooched off of her for 9 years-and recently threatened her subtly by putting two bullets on the table.

She LOVED your post and had me copy it and send it to her for strength! SO THANKS so much for helping NOT only me --but her too!

Shaney- I'm so happy to hear that your dogs are getting better and that your house is in escrow. That FINALLY things are turning around for you. And I thank you from what's left of my broken heart (how [email protected]!.... didn't you tell me not to do that?? ;( for your undying support for this sucker that I am. I will be a different woman-- who you will be very proud of -- if I just stick to my guns and your wonderful advice!

Oh and randomwoman2-- thank you too! I could hear that you truly knew how I felt and could almost feel your hugs. I have read many a post of the horrible trauma you have lived through and have loved many of your poems!
TDM

May 5, 2007
12:20 pm
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Shaney
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"I will be a different woman-- who you will be very proud of...."

WILL be proud of??!!! I already AM proud of you, my friend!! What you're doing isn't easy, but you're DOING it. Give yourself the credit that you deserve. I know that staying at your parents house is probably a good "temporary" plan - but we really have to figure out how to remove his used car lot from the front of your house, and intstill in him, that YOUR home isn't home base for HIM OR HIS THINGS any longer. He's had years to prepare for this, and although you may have given him reason to believe that this would never actually happen, the time is finally here for him to get his crap out... and you're serious this time. I don't know whether reclaiming your two vehicle from his and leaving him with his own is the way to go, or what. I really couldn't say - you know your situation better than I do. Eliminating one by one, or all at once, the reasons for him to return, is essential. You're still doing a great job - no doubt about that.

My thinking, is that he needs to be completely gone in about three weeks, just in case our escrow falls through again. We have two cars, two dogs, and would love to come and take advantage of "thedogsmom resort and spa" with the optional 401K and car allowance, if anything should happen.

Just kidding - you know I love the hell out of you :o)

May 5, 2007
5:08 pm
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AQueen
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Good for you!!!It is hard in the beginning, especially when the phone calls start and he is crying and begging for another chance. He will promise you the world but don't fall for it. He is only promising you these things because he wants back in your life and more importantly back in your house! If he really intended on getting clean and working and blah blah blah he would have done it a long time ago. I'm just trying to share what I've gone through so you can be prepared. If he shows and doesn't leave or wants to talk, DO NOT open the door. You will literally be opening the door not just in the physical sense but he will see it as a way to con you into allowing him to come back. I will not speak to my ex at all because if I did he would start calling me and bugging me again. No contact is much easier to deal with. If he continues to stop by or he starts calling you then get a protective order aka no contact order. He won't be allowed to come near your work, home, parents place, and so on unless he wants to be arrested. I got the protective order mainly because I didn't want him calling me and trying to wear me down like he had done so many times before. Ex's are ex's for a reason and he is now a ex so leave it that way. Remember he just lost his meal ticket so he's going to do and say anything to get you back. Be prepared and don't belive him. You are a strong woman who is walking the walk not just talking the talk!!! Good for you! You are doing great. I know it's scarey and it may even get lonely because you are used to his company even though he was very toxic he was still company. Keep busy and changing your schedule is a great idea! Look over your shoulder, don't put anything past him even if he wasn't been violent. He might do something passive aggressive to hurt you, something indirect but it will still hurt you. Just be safe. Crying and feeling like a villian are two normal feelings. He will do whatever he can to make you feel sorry for him, don't fall for it. He is a grown man that can take care of himself, you just have to give him an opportunity to do so and you have done by kicking him out so he can stand on his own two feet. I'm proud of any woman with codependency that stands her ground and gets rid of the mooch. Now you'll have a lot of time to focus on healing yourself and working on your recovery so you don't end up in this type of situation again.
AQueen

May 9, 2007
9:46 am
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smarterone
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The dogs mom
You brought me to tears, all this time you all have been helping me and i didnt see this site. Im so sorry, forgive me. I think you are so strong and right for what you did. I am so afraid, i rent this house and a cop lives on the block, and he told me he is aware of my son and doesnt want any scenes here because his elderly parents will get excited so i try to keep everything hush here. I know and feel everything you are going thru, you know i do. Im hurting so bad right now like it happened to me. My test is next week when i go to a friends, my b/f wont help him and he is working temp today but had to give him money to get gas in car, that he never paid for, to get to job. Today i have to go pay all the debts he made in my name, no choice, im the one to come after. Thank you so much for sharing. I wish i was there to share the grief, fright, uneasiness, feelings you have, i feel them. Thank you to all the ladies here for her. I love all of you.

May 11, 2007
12:36 pm
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thedogsmom
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shaney-- you have me laughing out loud again! and you know how much I need that these days. Unfortunately my SPA and RESORT-- looks more like an unfit 'homeless shelter' right now-- but I do throw in lots of extra PERKS! smile.

Smarterone-sorry I have you in tears-and never any need to apologize! I think you ought to stick to having Shaney advise you though! She's a lot stronger, wiser...and throws in humor..to snap you back to reality and the pure ridiculousness of the situations that we good woman allow ourselves to endure.

Aqueen== thanks for the much needed coach-talk to help me stay strong. It's OBVIOUS that you were recently in MY SHOES ...and that you know this...'addict' of mine...
"be prepared and don't believe him--
remember -- he lost his meal ticket and will do anything and say anything to get 'it- ' back!!"

This man won't leave me alone! I had my first weekend off from work -as I recently changed my hours. I was watching basketball and saw him peer in my front door window. I wasn't sure if he saw me-- had all the blinds drawn-- just to hide from him -in case he came around. He entered the backyard and camped out in the lawn chair with a book, cigarettes and a drink. He stayed there ALL NIGHT! I HID like a silly child from him -- behind the couch on the floor watching TV from that spot ..so he wouldn't know I was home!!

The next morning he was still there- sleeping in his clothes with a blanket on the ground. It was a cold night and I didn't sleep well knowing he was out there-- but I didn't let him in.
My girlfriend called and told me NOT TO BE A FOOL or PRISONER In my OWN HOUSE! TO stop HIDING From him and just get up...and go about my business for the day. So I did. I looked outside and he had left after washing himself with a washrag-- the hose and his toiletry bag now in my backyard. whether he went to work or to the park..or to a 'friends' house...I DON"T KNOW..

I opened the blinds...put music on and started the process of CLEANING Up the CLUTTERY ..DIRTY Place I used to call HOME. I have LET my house become a pigsty due to my depression/ lack of energy, caring and ambition!....

He returned about 4:00 pm and when I was vacuming I saw him snoozing there in the lawn chair in the backyard again. I opened the door and asked him what he was doing here. He said he needed me to open the garage door so he could put the tires from his old BMW onto the truck. He also said that he knew he owed me money--but could I give him $5.00 for changing my oil in the car- that he needed it for gas. I told him, he could change the tires, change the oil, eat, take a shower and then he had to leave. He said he really needed to 'talk' to me.

He talked and again expressed his love for me. Told me he didn't want this relationship to be over. That he thought we would be together FOREVER and he doesn't want to live without me. He said that he always had wanted to invite people over to entertain and socialize but that I had said I didn't want to and didn't want to get to know the neighbors! I screamed at him that ...that was because HE had gotten to know the druggie -know-no boundaries-invasive-neighbors FROM HELL! who were partly responsible for US breaking UP! and I didn't want to experience that again ...that- that is why I moved away from the NEIGHBORS..and that was NO GOOD REASON for him to just do whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted
.
That now he is FREE to hang out with whomever he wants to. And I am free to hang out with my true friends and family and people who ENJOY my company- insteading of waiting and wanting him to come home to me!
I told him it was OVER. That I didn't feel the same way about him anymore.

He asked me to go to marriage counseling. I said NO- I already tried that.. YOU DECIDED to QUIT..REMEMBER??? you quit...and now..I don't want to try anymore!

He begged for me to give him another chance. I reminded him that he had 3 years of chances over 1000 days to start walking the talk-- that his words were meaningless to me at this time. I feel he is just saying this cause he is homeless and I feel it is insincere-- that I haven't felt his LOVE for me for some time now! And that I had warned him plenty of times that my love was fading and that IF he wanted the relationship to work that he needed to work on it WHILE he was still LIVING here! Not later..that he HURT me MORE than he will EVER know! That I cried daily!! for two years! and that now I just wanted to be FREE and to start being happy and taking care of myself again and that he needed to do the same.

Then.... I stated I was going to bed..and,,, YEP... I let him shower, eat and spend the night and gave him another goodbye letter and 20$ when he left!

but... I made him LEAVE! and he hasn't been back since monday morning.

TDM

May 11, 2007
12:52 pm
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Shaney
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That lawn chair bit is a scene right out of a bad movie. I can hardly beleive that he would stoop to that, but in all honesty I can picture this in my mind clearly. Next time, turn the hose on him.

Gosh, dogsmom... I can't beleive it. But, again, you did good. My faith in you grows and grows because of where you were 6 months ago, and where you are now. The only thing, is that I think that you can probably save yourself the emotional effort of writing a goodbye letter from now on. From what I can see, they don't work with him. And when he asks for $5, give him $5... not $20. Can I ask where the hell his money goes since he's not paying rent OR for a car... or even gas in his car?

May 11, 2007
1:23 pm
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thedogsmom
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you are a hoot shaney! I will now think of turning the hose on him! IF he ever camps out in the backyard again!
I did cave in ...I know..weakened and let him spend a night in a warm bed..and gave him MORE money than he asked for.. I won't DO that again! Really! I won't. I just wanted him to put gas in his truck and have enough to get to work and LEAVE HERE.

And I felt bad- sorry -- that he seemed so sad and sorry and that I really felt NOTHING while he talked to me. I tried to squeeze a few tears out-- just for the sake of letting him know he hurt me...and that I felt...something for him...
But I was NUMB to his words. They really didn't mean anything at this time to me. I MUST REMIND myself that he is an ADDICT and a pathological habitual LIAR! and he is currently HOMELESS because of HIS OWN lack of RESPONSIBILITY and lack of strength- ambition- motivation or desire to CHANGE his situation.
He did tell me that he was borrowing money AGAIN from his retirement plan and would have a place to live after thursday. So I said "good" then I don't have to worry about that.
I DO WONDER why he still has this job??? after takiing off 12 weeks this year without pay??? showing up late frequently??/ filing grievances???and leaving early???

Oh well... honestly for today-- I am happy! and it seems to be showing already at work! I DO feel BETTER with him GONE!
I'm going to take my posts to the NO CONTACT board from here!
THANKS ALL for helping me to move forward...to PEACE and FREEDOM from 'misplaced guilt and responsibility' (shaneys words!)
TDM
TDM

May 11, 2007
1:35 pm
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smarterone
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Dogs mom: I admire your strength. I dont know how you did the whole day with him out there. You did good, give yourself a pat on the back. They just dont get it, like we have to send the druggies back to god and have them put all back together again, or maybe to mars, at this point to hell. Shaney where do you think the 20 goes, Im not sure what dogs mom's man is into, but it 20 for a pc of crack. Alcohol is cheap, Heroin, 5 and 10, how do i know, experience here in this drug background, my ex and son.
Good luck DM

May 11, 2007
1:51 pm
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thedogsmom
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strong???? I was HIDING behind my couch!!! then I DID let him spend ...just one more night...and handed over another 20$ to boot!!!!

That is NOT STRONG! THat is WEAK and backsliding... or I'd like to just say it is FOOLISH UNDESERVED LOVE and CARING for another being!

But I will get stronger..! I am getting stronger! I will get to the point where I will say NO MORE COMING ROUND HERE FOR ANY KIND OF HELP!

I'll bet he put 5 dollars in the car for gas...purchased cigarettes and more crank? crack? what is the difference???
oh well- next time I will be more prepared.
And you are right SHANEY... the letters and words I speak to him have gotten me NOWHERE!... Just a waste of more of MY emotions and time!

NO more letters. no more talking..no more HELPING somebody who won't help himself.

Feeling really strong today and about to enjoy my weekend after I get through this day!

May 11, 2007
2:12 pm
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StronginHim77
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No more money. No more "overnights." No more showers. No more freebies. No more letters. Nothing. NO CONTACT. That is the only language he will understand.

See you on the New No Contact thread.

Love,

Ma Strong

May 11, 2007
2:30 pm
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Shaney
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"...I really felt NOTHING while he talked to me."

I wanted to ask you, do you REALLY feel this way now? Numb to his idle words... losing that feeling for him that you thought you'd NEVER lose? Are you REALLY there, dogsmom? Because if you are... that is GREAT! This is the feeling that will give you the power to turn him away, until he gets it, and doesn't return. I wish that more men understood that when women get to this point, then it's done... there are no more chances, and we take our life back and run. Women may give fifty million warnings, but when we're truly tire of it, then it's hard to go back. So, if you are at this point, dogsmom... I'm happy for you. You're taking the emotion and the drama out of the situation and seeing it for what it really is. It's damaging and you're better off without it.

Hi smarterone... See? Once you get rid of them, you don't want them anymore... listen to dogsmom.. :o)

May 11, 2007
3:08 pm
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nappy
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Guilt is a bitch.......... but sometimes you have to realize that after all what you have done to help this person and you still didn't see any result, then it is time to let go of this person.
And when they say turn your back, I suggest that you turn your back like you don't even see him.
The reason for that is because as long as you let him keep coming by and sleeping, he knows that you don't mean what you are saying to him.
You can holler, stomp, scream and he is still looking at you like you have four heads on your shoulder because he already knows that you are only talking.
My back would have to be turn on him, because all those 20's or 5's can go on you or your household not on drugs or any others things that he is doing.

You have just said it yourself that all those talks, letters are not doing you any good. Turn him over to god and send him on his way.

Just accept the fact that you did your best and that is all that you can do for this person. And then see what your other blessings are on the other side of the door and it want be him.
Nappy!

May 11, 2007
6:35 pm
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thedogsmom
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Shaney and Nappy,
I wish I could honestly say-- that I have no more feeling for him..that the love is GONE.. It isn't...but for the moment...I am NOT feeling a lot of LOVE or even PITY for him.. I am sort-of NUMB-- feelingless... when it comes to him. I wish the best for him and his happiness... but I see that I am happiest when he is NOT around.
I am no longer feeling like he is a sad sick little puppy that needs me to take care of him..
Without the emotion and drama....I am seeing him as a man who made poor choices--- and now is addicted to meth...and who continues to live his life this way-- in spite of the hurt that it is causing himself first...and then the hurt it is causing me and his children.

It is like you put it" I am seeing the situation for what it really is-""--
the ugly truth-- that HE chose to sneak around and lie and do drugs...etc.....and
kept doing it...knowing it would hurt me... and HE still has DONE nothing to improve himself or prove his love for me.
I am seeing the situation as 'damaging and seeing I am better off without him'.

I am NO longer feeling responsible for him... and even though I am sorry for him... I feel that HE needs and deserves to live with the consequences of his poor choices and addiction. I don't need to live with the hurt and pain that causes. I didn't choose that ... and Nappy..yes... I do feel good about myself in knowing that I did my best and all I could do under the circumstances for him...and now I leave it up to him....or a higher power....
I choose happiness and peace...for now..
and for now.. I am glad for the numbness. I fear that it is really over and I will never trust him again.
but I am excited about the future..
TDM

May 11, 2007
9:24 pm
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StronginHim77
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TDM -

Remember that addiction is selfish. Period. It is all about them. Keep yourself and your family in a safe place, away from the selfish addict. Let him "BOTTOM OUT." It is the only hope he has...and you certainly cannot continue to jeopardize yourself and your mental/emotional well-being for this selfish user's benefit. Don't give up.

= Ma Strong

May 11, 2007
11:34 pm
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Shaney
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AWESOME dogsmom... I'm SO proud of you.. but mostly I'm excited for you and your future. You've liberated yourself. A true success story in my book.

Can I borrow $20 bucks?

May 12, 2007
8:21 am
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thedogsmom
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Joss Stone Torn And Tattered Lyrics
Might as well get used to you
End it all like you said you'll do
Cause talk is cheap boy out on the street
Cause people know when there's heat

[Chorus:]
I'm torn and I'm tattered
Sick and tired living my life singing the same old song
Oh I, I feel a little battered
Looks like I'm living my life running a one-man show
Oh, I, I don't know where the feeling's gone
I'll survive, I'll stay alive, I'm gonna carry on

Tell me tell me, won't you tell me
Where's my mister man
Who will try to deny me now
Everything I plan to be

[Chorus]

Riding the rodeo
Up and down we go, yeah
[ Lyrics found on http://www.metrolyrics.com ]

Where we'll end up
I just don't know
Like a rodeo
Down we go
(Riding the rodeo
up and down we go [4x])

[Chorus]

I got to walk away
I got to end this pain
I'm gonna make it through
See, I'm getting over you [2x]

I'll stay, stay alive
I'll stay alive
Look at my face
(Riding a rodeo, so high, so fly [2x])

(I don't know)
I'm torn and I'm tattered

May 12, 2007
8:35 am
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thedogsmom
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20 BUCKS???? well - let's see Shaney, You OWE me a million dollars already, NOT to mention the money you stole from me, not to mention the cheating, lieing and pain you've caused me.....

but hey?.. you did say that you liked me---and I seem to have a really really poor SHORT TERM MEMORY... so ...well...all I have in my purse is a 100 dollar bill, so be sure to return the change to me by friday. You wouldn't want to use it on drugs after all- because you said you weren't doing that anymore and even though I just found a meth pipe less than two weeks ago-- you said you quit for good this time...and I believe you.

that is the old me....
the new me.. is looking forward to what tommorow brings. and saying...I wish I could help you but I have a lot of debt to get out of, so I'm currently choosing not to make any personal loans...

Yes...THANK GOODNESS- I am a liberated woman! see smarterone..what a few days away from 'him' does to an intelligent woman with a big and true heart?
TDM

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