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The good days...then the bad
September 9, 2005
10:55 am
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confusedboopster
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September 30, 2010
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Yesterday was awful. I get to work at 7, but we are on answering service until 8. My hubby called at 7:50 and they asked him who he was. Now I am being accused of having my boyfriends calling me at work. I spend most of my days on the phone and if he calls and I don't answer, then I'm talking to my boyfriend and ignoring him.

Then I get home and walk through the door. "Hi baby, how was your day?" along with a hug and kiss. WHAT? What just happened? How do you think my day was. You called me repeatedly chewing my butt about nonexistent boyfriends. I didn't blurt this because my kids were in the room, but it did cross my mind. He was just as nice as could be as if nothing had happened. I figured it was because he wanted some. He didn't even ask for it. I was just dumb-founded.

The question was asked in the last post...yes he is off work due to a disability that happened at work. They have stopped his income checks, but are trying to get them started back. When he moved home, all of my bills were paid and current. I let him take over paying the bills. When I got my check, I gave him the money for the bills. I got off work early one day and checked the mail. I found out that my land note was 2 1/2 months behind. I asked him and he said he didn't know why. I checked into all the other bills, and everything was and still is behind. Since he has no income I am struggling to keep everything paid, but there's not enough to catch up, just keep up. I hate this.

I feel like I am be a b***h for saying this...I am considering waiting to leave until he gets his checks started again and my bills get caught up, since it's his fault they are behind. Am I a bad person for thinking that way? Before he came home I was poor, but I managed. Now, thanks to him, I don't have a car note. That money can go towards savings or my kids hobbies, or maybe me a new hobby.

Thanks for listening.

September 9, 2005
11:17 am
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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no, you are not bad for wanting that.

but, think hard about this, is it WORTH the pain???????????????? can you live peacefully during this period? what impact will it have on your boys? WHAT IF they don't give him back his income????????????

if you are breaking even, is it worth the extra little bit you will have when he gets the money?

I know I had to weigh that decision once or twice - was it worth it or was it better for me, mentally and physically, to just chalk up the loss.

most creditors will understand if you call and explain what happened, possibly defer a payment or two til you can get caught up - work out a payment plan.

if you stay - TAKE BACK the control over the money. Don't let him continue to pay the bills. He may not like it - but that's not your problem. It's your money, your income, your credit he is destroying - you have EVERY RIGHT to control the checking account. Give him an allowance if you must - but know that the ONLY reason he wanted control of the bills was to use YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY to feed HIS habit - and put YOUR FAMILY in jeopardy - including your kids.

you probably can't get rid of him - so walking out would be the answer - start looking for options - so when you have had enough, you have a plan in place.

take a long hard look at your finances, and figure out a plan - talk to creditors on your lunch breaks, find out what your options are.

I don't think it's bad you want to get your money back - but question if it's worth it or not.

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