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The Codependency Revelation
April 22, 2009
5:55 pm
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littlelostgirl
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September 29, 2010
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Today I found myself begging yet another guy not to leave me. Even after saying horrible things to me like, "You're so fat, you disgust me" or "I could never love somebody like you"... Even after he disrespected me and let me know, CLEARLY, that I would never mean anything to him... I begged him not to leave.
I was crying at my desk and my coworker asked if I had ever heard of codependency. Well... ironically enough I am in the mental health profession, and was vaguely aware of this term. After googling the word, I figured out the reason to all of my unhealthy behaviors and relationships... I am codependent. So I'm trying to be brave now and realize that this guy will do nothing but hinder my emotional growth and well being. I found this website and I'm making this post because I've never admitted to the destructive patterns which lead my life. I have been in and out of therapy for years, and I know I need to be consistent with it. I guess what I'm asking is... How does one learn to love themselves so much that they don't need another person? I just want to need myself.. I never want to let another guy treat me this way. I want to stop this dreadful cycle while I'm still young. Any advice please..?

April 22, 2009
7:31 pm
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CAMER
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Littlelostgirl...your so not alone here.....you made a step by posting here!! that is great.

Now maybe read some good books on codependency such as Women Who Love too much by robin norwood, and Codpendent no more by Melody Beattie....they are excellent books.

Can you end the relationship with this man who is verbally abusing you, that would be a great start, cuz you know what?? you deserve so much better than him.

If you work on yourself for a while, try not dating, and getting healthier then all you have to focus on his YOU....and then you will attract healthier partners.

(((hugs your way)))) camer

April 22, 2009
8:23 pm
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being true to myself
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Hello littlelostgirl,

If you are unfullfilled in a relationship... beware. Listen to what your heart and spirit tells you. Focus on getting yourself healthy first in spirit and mind. Find healthy outlets... taking a walk, coffee at star bucks with friends, listening to up lifting music...try a new hobby JUST FOR YOU!
Your created for a purpose and sometimes we loose are step; however, if your true to our basic need to be loved, respected, and not except anything less.....then good things will come your way. Remember stay clear from toxic relationships. Wishing you happiness!!!!

April 24, 2009
3:28 pm
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carolinabutterfly
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I made the same discovery today! I have been in a relationship for 7 years and have been hurt repeatedly. I think of myself as self confident and having it all together. I discovered I'm not. I've been so afraid of losing him, but yet I feel better when he isn't around. I've lost 61 lbs and do great when he is gone. As soon as he comes come I eat constantly! Is this codepedency? Thanks for any advice!

April 24, 2009
3:51 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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Welcome littlelostgirl. the book Codependent no more" really helped me indentify codependent behaviors in myself and helped me change my behaviors.

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