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thanks nvr2late
October 2, 2006
5:54 am
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straw_berry
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i appreciate your advice.... i really needed that. he never admits that whenever he goes out, he meets other girls... he just says he looks at them, but i cannot also cannot take that. i believe he behaves differently when with his friends.

i am so unfortunate of not having a job which makes it impossible for me to leave him and i think that's also one reason why he treats me this way. i am sodependent on him.

i am thinking of ways to get back at him. i am trying to make it appear that everyhting's fine but i am carefully planning of how to raise myself up and then that's the time I will put back everything IN HIS FACE.

thanks so much ....

October 2, 2006
6:54 am
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nvr2late
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Straw_berry.

You do not deserve this treatment.
and I believe we know the difference between MEN and BOYS.
Men love their wives, will do anything for them...not go out and LOOK at other women.
my ex chose to be with that girlfriend at the price of his family...
they did NOT stay together...he is on # 4 or 5...I have lost count.

and he has come back trying to get me back....telling me that he made the worse mistake with me...and that he thinks he had a 'breakdown'.

oh well...sorry about that.
and at the time that I filed for divorce, we were living in a big house, in a very nice area...I did not think I could support myself either.

fast forward 2.5 years...I am better off without him than with him.
my kids are better off, they don't hear the fighting and we spend quality time together!

lonely as it is sometimes...it is sure better than it was.

it is too bad that he thinks the grass is greener, and that is ok...
his actions and his talk do not match each other, he is a liar...and I did not know that I was married to a liar for 15 years.

and after stabbing me in the back for 2.5 years, I believe I have learned my lesson (I hope anyway).
he is not going to change and it is NOT MY FAULT...just like it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!

don't let him give you blame, make your escape plans.
hold your head high...what goes around, comes around.

you will be better off in the long run, with him not pulling you down to his level.
we all make mistakes, I am not perfect, but you have to believe in yourself first, that man is not doing what marriage is suppose to be doing...providing security and peace.

it is only making you question yourself, don't fall into that trap!

wow, I needed to get some feelings off my chest this morning! 🙂

good luck to you...
nvr

October 2, 2006
8:44 pm
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straw_berry
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nvr,

you really went through a lot. and you know ? i am inspired ! i liked the part "it is only making you question yourself, don't fall into that trap!"

i admire you for what you've done. i think women have all the power to do things on their own....i was somebody before i met him and i am going to be somebody again with or without him...

thanks again

straw_berry

October 3, 2006
5:31 am
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nvr2late
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straw_berry...

don't don't don't question yourself.
like you said, you were somebody before and you will be somebody after.
when I was married..I was nobody to him, I hated that...

I did not do anything correctly, I had emotions (those were MY problem) and from what I heard my job was not good enough, nor was I a good mother (I still hear that).

but, you can get past all the crap that they throw at you.
you have a RIGHT to be in this world, there are no mistakes to God...

so, we go through hell, we move on...
and realize that they are the ones with the problem.
they don't want us to be strong, so they can keep us under their control.

so we don't question what life would be like in a peaceful environment.
they don't know any better and they won't get help.

that is very very sad.
because once we DO know better...
their world falls apart. and we just get stonger and less tolerant.

you can do this, if you stay, don't listen to his verbal spewing...know in your heart that this man is very insecure and does not know what a healthy relationship is.

and feel VERY sorry for the next person he gets into his trap.
all I can think is 'thank GOD it is not me anymore!'

what goes around, comes around.
you can do this!!!

nvr

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