Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
THANKS EVERYONE!! from Camer
February 23, 2005
9:07 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i want to thank all of you who responded, such overwhelming responses, and I thank you for that!!!!

I have decided NOT to take him back. The saddest part is that we spoke of these issues right b4 Xmas, and nothing changed since Xmas, so I decided to end the relationship and not settle (ended 2nd wk of Feb)...and still we parted on good terms.....NOW...of course he wants to change, and I asked him why didn't he change back at Xmas time, and also, change cuz he WANTS to also, not cuz i told him to. I think he is nervous about being alone, and letting a good relationship go...but we talked about it in the past and sometimes
"you don't know what you have till its gone".
Only been away from him 9 days now, and I
am focusing on the future, not going back into the past...I dont' want to let him back to change temp. and then months or years go back to the same old him. He is what he is, and I can stand strong enough to let him go "as he is"...I myself just do not want to get involved with any "addictions" and I myself have been getting so much closer to God, and if he chooses to NOW get closer to
God he has to do it on his own.

I have come too far in my life to keep going "back".....maybe, just maybe, if he
thought of this more seriously when I 1st presented it to him at Xmas and made some
changes for the better, it may have been different story....but nothing changed, we
both decided to "see what happens" and hold out for hope....I couldn't after a few months of this and decided to end it...and even then....he still accepted it (and said nothing about quitting pot or starting to
have beliefs) now that he is alone, he wants me back....It is not going to happen.

((((((Thanks so much everyone, I greatly appreciate all that you have said)))) I kinda knew i was going to NOT take him back, then again, my Coda kicks in and thinks that maybe i should give him a chance.

Much love & hugs & support to all Camer~

February 23, 2005
9:12 am
Avatar
willitgetbetter
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Camer,
I am so sorry i didn't respond. As you know I have been on and off here regularly and i missed your thread. Sounds like you are in control so stick with it.

((((CAMER)))) Love to ya.

February 23, 2005
9:25 am
Avatar
jastypes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Camer,

Good choice. Here's what I believe. Some of the best advice I ever got was from a pastor who told me to separate from my husband so that each of us could grow closer to God, and then God would bring us back together on a higher level -- which he did. Not that it hasn't been a struggle, however.

You're not married to the man, so you are not obligated to EVER take him back. But, if it is God's will, then God will make it happen, in His time, in His way, and with His grace and influence.

God bless you,
jill

February 23, 2005
9:28 am
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

you go girl...

February 23, 2005
12:01 pm
Avatar
msguud
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Camer - YOU ROCK!!! Good for you for sticking to your beliefs. I think the next BF is going to appreciate you way more than this one did, albeit too late for him.

Take care of yourself. You are just SUPER!!!!!

February 23, 2005
12:36 pm
Avatar
sewunique
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

dear, sweet Camer,

By Jove, I think you got it! You stood by the boundaries you set for you and gave that gift to you!

BTW, have you been reading those CODA books again? (grinning ear to ear)

Great things are in store for you; I still wish OMW could share a miracle story, when she gets back.

Camer, this months's
CODA POSTER GAL!!!

(((hugs and smiles))))

Sew

February 23, 2005
12:43 pm
Avatar
addicts wife
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Camer...
Iam so proud of you for sticking to your guns, anddrawing those boooundaries even clearer in the ground....
YOU ROCK.. keep moving forward!!!!!
BIG BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 23, 2005
12:43 pm
Avatar
art angel
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Camer-

Sorry I missed your post. I was still sleepin. 🙂

Sounds like you've got it all figured out though. Just follow your heart.

much love,

art angel

February 23, 2005
1:02 pm
Avatar
wink
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Camer, I'm new to this site but I already see that you seem to have a similar situation to mine. I, also "broke up" with my BF of 5 years at Christmas time -- he actually walked out one night to go home and I didn't hear from him for a week. This is typical behavior for a non-recoverinig alcoholic/addict. I had been pondering for a while how to assert myself towards him if this ever happened again. I took the road of not returning his calls, which eventually started coming in a week after he walked out. Soon, his suicide threats came in - he was "severely depressed" - I, in turn, told him he was a substance abuser who needed help. He believes very strongly in God and, in fact, has turned me towards God in the last few years, so I tried to get him to see that he needs help, etc., etc....Well, we reconciled briefly in mid-January and it's been very precarious. For Valentine's Day (surprise? NOT!) We again broke up, again he pulled a fight out of his bag of tricks and took off. This time (last weekend) he said I was The Devil, a BAD BAD person, etc., etc., all under the influence of rum, pot, and possibly cocaine. I let him ramble, he called me many horrible names, then stormed out - AGAIN - and I have not heard from him in 5 days (and counting). Sounds like you had a similar BF - mine tends towards the dramatic. I will keep in touch, OK?

February 23, 2005
1:49 pm
Avatar
bubishi76
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Way to be strong Camer,
Believe me, I think we all know how difficult it can be to not want to take that person back, that was so special to us. However, it's one of those necessary evils. There are people out there, that realize they screwed up, but aren't willing to make those necessary changes. Remember this, we all return back to our core self. No matter how much we try to change, there is a core self that is inherantly good or evil. Habits, cn be changed if one is willing to work on them, but no matter how much we try to change ourselves, we ultimately return.

~Bubishi~
~The Peaceful Warrior~

February 23, 2005
1:51 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thanks Willing for posting & Jill..for your support, it was only a 6 mo relationship and if i have problems now, imagine in the future!
(((Ready & MsGuud)))thanks so much for your support also!! (((Sew))) thanks so much for having me be poster Gal of the month!!! you are so sweet!!! (((Addict/Art/Wink)))) it is my time to move on and i am not turning back, can't do it, i have come this far and will not settle, thanks for the encouragement!!!

You are all so awesome!!! love & peace to all!!! camer

February 23, 2005
2:36 pm
Avatar
brownie
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 62
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi camer.

You go girl.You are heading in the right direction.God bless you.

February 23, 2005
4:04 pm
Avatar
tenderheart
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Camer - you are my American Idol. You are making a great choice and I ask for strength on my own journey. That is wonderful to know you were able to see the warning signs and had the ability to not let your coda weaknesses make a wrong decision. I am getting a bit week and hope to not give in because I am on my ninth day, too. God Bless !

February 23, 2005
4:16 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((brownie & Tender)) thanks so much for the support....I feel ok today, I know i made the right choice, and its for ME...not for him. I guess its a thing that I need to practice each and every day, and still listen to that lil' voice inside (my instincts) and not be afraid of the outcome. I just see good things happening down the road for me now.

And Tender, just keep remembering all the reasons why you both broke up...and honestly take them in, face the lonliness and know that you are not alone...you can do this, i am rooting for you & keep posting!!!

((love, Camer))

February 23, 2005
6:42 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I 'm glad you feel good Camer . i've also managed to finish with my boyfriend now for over a week . Of course hes contacted me with a load of excuses - but this time I told him EXACTLY how I felt and how I have felt for so long. He still blames me for everything (which he will - he's never wrong) but I feel so much better for being honest and open with him WHETHER HE LIKE IT OR NOT!!

You're doing fine.

((hugs))

February 23, 2005
6:42 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I 'm glad you feel good Camer . i've also managed to finish with my boyfriend now for over a week . Of course hes contacted me with a load of excuses - but this time I told him EXACTLY how I felt and how I have felt for so long. He still blames me for everything (which he will - he's never wrong) but I feel so much better for being honest and open with him WHETHER HE LIKE IT OR NOT!!

You're doing fine.

((hugs))

February 24, 2005
10:28 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Way to go Camer, and glad you are doing ok!

February 25, 2005
12:00 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Camer:

Good for you. You'll be much better off in the long run. God has a special someone for you... just wait... it'll be better than this one ever was. Bless You!

February 25, 2005
1:16 am
Avatar
addicts wife
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

HI camer...
just poppin in to check out how GREAT you are still doing....right???
(((Big hugs, and luvin')))))))

February 25, 2005
9:29 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thanks again!!! i am doing great today....just got the final closure last nite from Paul....I told him that I am not going back with him, and he even told me that he was just kinda in a weird mood the other day when he re asked to "get back together"...(his b-i-l passed away) and i think he was feeling sorry for himself....he even tells me his buddy is thrilled cuz now he can come over and get "stoned" with him more!!! ya!! great idea!!! then I ask Paul, "so, are you going to start going to church or practice religion at all??" and he said, well maybe someday..................so all that he told me the other day was just a bunch of bs!!! so I am glad he is gone, done and over with!!!

(((thanks all for the tremendous support)))
love, camer

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110977
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714261
Newest Members:
swright, nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why..
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information