Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Thank you women!
February 25, 2004
4:30 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It occurred to me last night that I am in an interesting situation.

Given the nightmare that I have(barely) lived through, you would think I would be harboring a smoldering hatred for women. Now it is true that I am a bit afraid of them. Okay, quite a bit.

Nevertheless, in my search for support it is WOMEN who have listened to me, joined me, validated me, and loved me. There is not much support for/from battered men out there and most of what's there seems pretty shrill and gender polarized. That is not helpful to me.

Instead I read story after story about women who have been through EXACTLY what I have been through. The whole phenomenon of Battered Woman Syndrome, for example. It is women who tell me they believe me, women who tell me that I did not deserve that treatment, women who tell me my anger is understandable, women who tell me that I am not crazy for being worried sick about my little boy.

All in all, I find myself more and more identifying with women, empathizing with women. Ladeska, Free, Zinnie, Lisset and many others here have been such a source of comfort and grounding for me. Thank you so much and God bless you.

I would say that I cannot imagine what it must be like for a woman to endure a battering relationship, but I can imagine it very well. You have helped me understand. I have an abiding disgust for women who batter. What I feel for battering "men," on the other hand, is much closer to....contempt, I guess. Any "man" who would terrorize a woman or child is worse than a beast, because animals do not treat each other that way.

Every day it hurts, and I live through it. Every day I am scared, and I live through it. Every day I learn a little more about what it is to be a woman, to be a man, to be a human.

I don't know what I would do without the wisdom and support and love I find here. Oh heck, now I'm crying. Gotta go.

February 25, 2004
8:48 pm
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

oh wd

that was so cool.

You are believed because you are real.

You are supported because you are not alone.

And most of all, you are loved because you are loveable.

now my tears are comin!

free

February 26, 2004
8:02 am
Avatar
Tumbleweed8
Member
Members

Members
Forum Posts: 29
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just read these and have to thankyou both. You both said it all and so well. I am touched by this, also.

February 26, 2004
4:59 pm
Avatar
rugrat
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi alot of people say that people who abuse others have been abussed themselves, and this is why they behave in this manner. it a statement i do not except my father verbal and phsycal abuse me and my sisters, my sisters then went on to marry abusive husands but not me,this dose not give me or my sisters the right to someone else.
you will get through this and life will became lovely

February 26, 2004
5:58 pm
Avatar
LA Rosa
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

As you are developing further, your understanding of women and the challenges that we face - your present natural fear of us will, most probably, gradually lose its intensity.... and likewise for women who have a fear of men. It would really seem to me, that you, Worried Dad have an advantage over the large majority of men, who can't bring themselves around to even trying to consider 'understanding women', those who just resign themselves to believing that they never will or ever can. Isn't it what you don't understand that you fear the most? Can you imagine how afraid those other guys must be? Best wishes WD.

LA Rosa

February 26, 2004
6:06 pm
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good point La Rosa

My ex husband's best friend suffers horribly at the hand of his ex wife, and my ex husband.

He won't fight her, or him. So she runs rampant. It's no different from an abusive situation involving a man as the abuser. She is a monster. She has taken the kids and uses every opportunity to draw him in just to beat him up. It's been very frustrating to watch, but my heart went out to him and his kids for many years.

And then, even more disheartening to make the committment to never have contact with this person again. Talk about how abusers isolate. My ex husband had this guy ready to testify in his behalf. This guy was going to perjur himself for my ex husband. Ah, the cost of friendship. Sad thing is, this guy was willing to pay the cost for it.

Which meant losing me as a friend (out of my own self-preservation I can't let him in my life now), and I would have never asked such a thing from him.

Who should he call? The local battered men's shelter?

It's just bad.

free

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
20
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714261
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information