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Telling my story - THE DARK NOW - Sininho
January 9, 2007
4:39 pm
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September 24, 2010
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Just couldnt get myself to finish part I so Im moving on to this thread (after reading Jewel´s thread - should I die - or alike.

Just want to say that I had a big anxiety and panic morning today. Reading on Jewel helped me too. Doctors on vacation here. The max med I took was 0,25 mg rivotril plus headache pills besides paroxetine for depression this am (I take lithium at night).

It sucks being alone in the house. I managed to talk to a nice older man neighbor. I repeating some of the affirmations he shared with me. I didnt ramble but he knows I need help sometimes.

One thing that trigger intense feelings was the losing of my sis bird (cockatoo - sp?). I was getting affectionate to it, thinking of getting one...

As for you all here on the site, I havent been alble not to have strong feelings about what I read here. So I needed to cut down on the time here. But I LOVE YOU ALL!

Stay strong!

January 9, 2007
5:02 pm
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September 27, 2010
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I think that having a pet can be a really great thing.

You mentioned about being alone in the house, pets are really beneficial in fighting the lonliness.

I hope that you follow through and decide on getting yourself a cockatoo (or two!) 🙂 They really are alot of company!

January 11, 2007
12:05 am
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
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Where have you been woman?! It was w~o~n~d~e~r~f~u~l to see your name on one of the threads....Hope things have gotten better for you...and sorry to hear bout' your sis's bird : ( ya know, I think you getting a bird could just be your thing...let me get a visual of this here...hmmmmmmmmm Sini sitting up in a crows nest with her bird. YEP - I can see it!!!

I was just on one of your threads looking for the "Weaving between God Me" poem and couldn't find it. Don't remember where you posted it - though I did come across a re-posting of it on one of the NC threads (hoping to find the original thread.) How's your memory been lately?! Do you remember where you posted it : )

Good to see you and looking forward to reading the next part of your story.


January 15, 2007
6:51 pm
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September 24, 2010
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truth, I´d love to get two! Just a bit broken and dealing with some stuff, but I loved that bird and I know I want at least one.

loving, so good to hear from you! Im not around much, almost not at all, not much progress. But Im persisting. Always think of you when Im anxious and go take a shower! 🙂

Dont know where I posted but a search word poem should find it. Better, yet, it is here:

My Life Is Just a Weaving…

My life is just a weaving
Between my God and me
I do not choose the colors
He works steadily
Sometimes he weaves sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget he sees the upper
and I the underside
Not till the loom is silent
And shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why
The dark threads are as useful
In the skillful weaver’s hand
As are the gold and silver
In the pattern he has planned

And here is another poem I love:

Ain’t It Fine Today?

Douglas Malloch

- What’s the use of always cryin’
Making trouble last?
What’s the use of always keepin’
Thinking of the past?
Each must have his tribulation,
Water with his wine
Life it ain’t no celebration
Trouble? I’ve had mine ~
But today is fine.
- Sure, this world is full of trouble ~
I ain’t said it ain’t.
Lord! I’ve had enough and double,
Reason for complaint.
Rain an’ storm have come to fret me,
Skies were often gray;
Thorns and brambles have beset me
On the road – but, say,
Ain’t it fine to-day!
- It’s today that I am livin’,
Not a month ago,
Havin’, losin’, takin’, givin’,
As time wills it so
Yesterday a cloud of sorrow
Fell across the way;
It may rain again to-morrow,
It may rain – but, say,
Ain’t it fine to-day!

Lots of love to all!

January 15, 2007
7:02 pm
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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Hey sini - I wrote this huge post to you on the 9th, and I don't see it! It must have gone into some cyber-abyss. Bummer.... because it took a long time to write!

Anyway... I love those birds. I used to go and visit one in particular at the pet shop. When they sold it, I was SO sad. I could see how those birds can be a lot of company. Good idea.... GET ONE!

Love the poems.

Hope you're doing alright. I just got off the phone with my mom (who is staying with us - which is a whole other story) and she's pissed at me right now. SO, she may be on her way to pick up her stuff from my house to go and stay with my brother. Nice. I'm sick of constantly helping her, only to render her helpless. It's a long story, and I'm too tortured to tell it right now, but hey. Things could be worse. There are things to be thankful for, and I'm going to have to hold onto some of those for the time being. :o)

What's good in YOUR life today?

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