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Teenager Advice - LotusTampa back! :)
August 28, 2006
3:26 am
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LotusTampa
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September 30, 2010
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Hi all. I haven't been on for quite some time...a few hello's here and there.

After finally having come to terms with the really screwed up pseudo relationship I was in (and whined about for a long time), seeing my mom die (almost 3 months ago now), having our beloved bird killed by the dog, and cat running away, now my teenage daughter is *living* with her dad and I'm about to crack. 🙂 Seriously, I'm about to freakin' crack.

My entire body feels like one giant knot. I rarely sleep, constant inner turmoil, feeling abandoned by so many people in my life...and now, my own flesh and blood would rather live with her father and his girlfriend than ME!

There are a plethora of emotions I go through just about every waking moment that it's exhausting me.

My life is turned upside down. I feel manipulated and used by my daughter, by so many people...and I have been through hell and back with their father. The first 10 years he drank like a fool, and these last 3 years he's always sick from his liver transplant.

I'm not saying I deserve Mom of the Year award, but god d***t, I am just beside myself that this is happening to my family. It's unbearable AND unthinkable to me.

I have labored for my daughters their entire lives...from seeing through all their immunizations, to dance school, tennis lessons, private tutoring, vacations, beautiful clothes, braces, etc. and their father basically rode on the coat-tails...I do everything and he gets to show up.

OH MY GOD, I feel like I have lost all control of everything.

My daughter even told me Friday afternoon, "I don't want to see you, Mom", and then had the audacity to call me on Saturday being all sweet and finally asking for something...which is why she called...she needed something!

I was DEVASTATED! And, it has dredged up all my past relationships...being used, manipulated, taken advantage...and this behavior is coming from my own daughter!!!

Mostly, I feel like I've been betrayed. I can feel myself shutting down.

I'm in total HATE mode...

Has anyone ever experienced this crap? If so, what the hell do I do?

Peace and love,
Lotus

August 28, 2006
5:51 pm
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revelation
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September 27, 2010
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Hi LT!

Nice to hear from you....I only pop in here occasionally myself these days. Sounds like you are going through it honey.

Here is what I'll say...it will sound cliched, but it godd*mn works! First, so much has happened to you...you need to give yourself some space and time to think...and some time to let go of that negativity. You can't control this situation with your daughter, and the more you try to, the more she is going to want to pull away. My feeling about this, is that although it may be hard, you are going to have to sit back and let her do this....she'll probably end up back with you anyway...but any attempt to control her in this situation will backfire on you.

Let go...let go of all the negative feeling that you have about everything that happened, and just look after yourself and yourself only.

Hope thats helped a little LT.

Rev.

August 29, 2006
4:24 am
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LotusTampa
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Oy vey...I know. Thanks much.

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