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TEEN DAUGHTERS FIGHTING...WHAT DO YOU THINK
September 1, 2005
2:36 pm
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alyssa
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My teen girls are fighting. I could use some onpinions on this.

My 16 yr old was dating a boy, he and all his friends would come over and hang out at the house nearly every day. My 16 yr old and him broke up but they are still friends and all the kids still come around more days then not. the thing is that my 14 yr. old has become pretty good friends with them also. this is causing a great amount of jealousy. Most of the contact my 14 yr old has with them is on the MSN. talking to them nearly every night. My 16 year old wants her sister to delete them off her contact list so they can't talk to her. she doesn't want her sister around at all anymore. where as earlier this summer they would all go everywhere together.

I'm torn because i can see how my 16 yr old feels. but how can i stop friendships made with my 14 yr old.

Let me know how you would handle this. It's causing a lot of stress in the house. and we have enough other stresses.

Thanks, lyss

September 1, 2005
2:56 pm
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StronginHim77
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Jealousy is WRONG. Time to minister this essential value to your 16-year-old. At the same time, the 14-year-old needs to develop her OWN peer friendships. I have two sons (now 20 & 16) and have experienced similar issues with them. Family Conference Time is in order. Both need to bend and consider the needs/feelings of the other sibling.

If all else fails, bar ALL visitors from the house and bar both daughters from going online. That ought to cool their jets, somewhat.

: )

September 4, 2005
12:02 am
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DandyLion
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Speaking as a former teen daughter who had this same problem with my sister. We were interested in the sme things and it was always difficult for us to find our own way without the other one having to be there. I was not allowed to hang around my big sister's friends after she felt threatened, because they were "older". She was however still allowed to hang out with my friends, this caused a great deal of stress for me because it was so one-sided. Speaking from that perspective I agree with StronginHim77, whatever goes should go for both, it will make them both re-think their behavior. I hope this helps!
DandyLion

September 4, 2005
12:24 am
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lost and found
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maybe the big sister is doing or hanging with people she doesn't want the 14 year old to know about. does the younger sister have any friends of her own??

September 4, 2005
12:32 am
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lost and found
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i have two sons. one 17 and one 16. instead of making his own friends the 16 year old covets his brothers friends. this has caused alot of fights in our house. i finally had to start a new rule. devin cant be friends with dereks friends and derek can't do anything with devins.
it had got so bad that they would be fighting over a kid and he would be standing in the middle and notknow what to do. this forced devin to get his own friends and he didn't have to worry about them liking derek better because i won't allow the switch. hope it helps

September 4, 2005
5:29 pm
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alyssa
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Thanks for your opinions. I am not letting the 14 yr old to go hang out with the older sisters friends anymore. but I am saying it's ok for her to talk to them on the computer or here at the house or things like that. I don't feel I can totally stop the friendships, but she doesn't need to hang with them really.

The 14 yr old does have her own friends and is involved in alot. She cheerleads and voice lessons and things. but she does prefere to talk to the older kids.

Of course there has always been jealousy from the older daughter, I try to focus on the good things each of them do and try not to have them both do the same things so the competition is low between them, but this friend issue turned out to be a big thing. I hope as time passes it will work alot of itself out.

glad to hear from you guys, thanks.

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