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talking about sexual abuse in therapy
June 1, 2006
10:11 pm
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I C Gold
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Hey cpt1212,
Just wondering how your therapy session went today. I thought of you while I was waiting to see mine 🙂

My therapist is happy to see that I'm now angry at my mother because of her "failure" to protect me against my dad's sexual abuse. Glad somebody happy about it, I'm damn sure not!
Take care and hope you have a great weekend.

June 2, 2006
2:58 am
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cpt1212
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i c gold,

i know the few times that i have been angry my therapist thinks it is great. she says that angry is a catalyst for change.

June 2, 2006
3:39 am
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cpt1212
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okay, so i had my much anticapted session with my therapist. i must admit that as it got closer i got increasingly more nervous and the muscles in my neck and shoulders got very tense and sick to my stomache but i went, and . . . I did not talk about. I repeat I did not talk about it, but . . .i did talk about some stuff from when i was younger and i really have never talked much about stuff from when i was a kid in therapy. i have on a few occasions, but it is not something that i talk much about,mostly we talk about developing coping methods for now, but i feel uncomfortable discussing what could have possibly kept me from developing healthy coping mechanisms before (she says sarcastically) so i talked about some stuff growing up and was much more open and able to talk to about how i felt about some things---which as you can probably tell from my writing here it is difficult for me (i am quite neanderthalesque about my feelings). anyway my head has been spinning from our conversation and her prespective is so alien to me it is almost a relief to hear her thoughts on it and to be able to say okay so maybe i am not that inadequate or maybe it really isnt my fault or maybe i didn't really fail and the yardstick that i used to measure these things was wrong---maybe i am not "overly sensitive" as i am repeatedly told.

so at the end of the session i said i really did plan to talk about the shitty stuff and my therapist said that it is okay we will get there and that it is good that we are talking about how i responded to what happened. and when she said this her tone changed and she sounded very compassionate and genuine. so all in all anti-climactic

June 2, 2006
7:22 am
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lollipop3
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Hi cpt,

Funny....as I started to type here, suddenly I realized that I didn't know what to say....so I'm not really sure why I am posting but....

I've never really talked about my abuse. I mean...it's not a secret. People know that it happened. My family knows. My (ex) b/f knows. At the time, the guy was prosecuted.....so the entire state knew. When I say I've never really talked about it, I mean....in detail. I guess I just never found it necessary.

I did mention it in therapy when I first started, but thinking back....she didn't respond the way I thought she would. I thought she would want to discuss all of these things and would want to know how these things made me "feel" but she didn't. She basically just said that we needed to deal with things that were going on "now". Her response made me feel as though she already knew how these things would make a person feel. I didn't have to tell her.

After reading this thread, it made me think about that and question......Is it necessary to rehash all of the bad things that happened to me as a child in order to heal? Or is just acknowledging it enough? Must I re-live it in order to move on.....or is it enough to just accept that it happened and deal with the results that are playing out in my adult life?

I haven't asked her these things....but I will.

Thank you for this thread. My thoughts are with you.

Lolli

June 4, 2006
2:22 am
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quilter
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Hi
My computer keeps loosing the connection when I try to send this reply. After I written to my hearts content. Now I just wanted to say hi, sounds like you made progress at your session. Maybe not the direction you thought but I am sure you will get to where you want to go. Maybe talking about the childhood stuff now will give you insight as to why it is so hard.
Hopefully I can get this computer thing fixed so i can write more.
Hang in there.
Quilter

June 4, 2006
2:32 am
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cpt1212
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thanks quilter, and again i appreciate your persistance. since the session i have thoughts running thru my head all the time. i guess thoughts would an incorrect description. i don't have any focus or fully formed ideas, but rather just the concept of what we talked about always present in my head. nothing specific though. it is getting kind of annoying really. i guess it is like it opened a whole new perspective and things as i have always known them, even myself, are not what i always "knew" and felt. it is an idea i can't yet wrap my head around

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