Finally sat down and had a good talk with the boyfriend. I have not moved back in (yet), as I am still a little confused. He is sick with a cold, so I am not sure he is thinking clearly, but he seems to have grown up quite a bit. He is a thinker, like me, and I know he has thought all this stuff through. Last night, I gave him more to think about. He says he is willing to go back to therapy, just not right now. In the meantime, I have read some excerpts from the books you guys have suggested, and gotten a therapist of my own. My concern was that he kept saying "I care about you" rather than "I love you". Does he think it is over, and not willing to admit it? Two days ago I was sure I was going back, but now, I told him, I wasn't convinced. I am willing to try, and he genuinely seemed to get that I wanted better communication, no more deception (deception by way of keeping quiet with the feelings, not like cheating), and honesty.
This morning he told me he did love me, and was extremely depressed when I left. I know we love eachother, but I am still not sure this is going to work. I want so much to try and do it different this time. Any way this is possible?
I don't know what I want him to say, he is going through his own crap right now, I guess I feel like I want him to be more upset, but he is a guy, and probably holding back his feelings to protect himself right now.
Sorry for the ramble, I am lost. Anyway, I am off to the therapist right now.