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Take Care of Yourself
November 17, 2005
8:51 am
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Mishy2sons
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Take care of yourself.

How often have you heard that? How often have your tossed it off to others yourself? Does it sound trite? Well, it isn't! It is true! Take care of yourself.

Taking care of myself has made a huge difference in my life and it can in yours too.

I am a co-dependant married to an alcoholic verbal and physical abuser. Last Nov. 2004, I lost my third child at 20 weeks gestation.

Because the second of my c-sections was botched, my fateful third pregnancy caused my abdominal muscle wall to tear, requiring reconstructive surgery. Two days after the surgery my husband punched me in the abdomin.

Between the grief of my marriage and the grief of my loss, I felt suicidal. I hit rock bottom. I knew I had to get up. I have two living young children. I couldn't kill myself! They needed me. But how could I take care of them if I didn't take care of myself?

I started counseling. That helped. I started reading self-help books. That helped too. I prayed. That also helped. (Though it may not be for every body.)

Then I started nutritional therapy. I am a strong believer in that! I cleaned up my diet. Out with the refined sugar and white flour, in with fresh fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains etc. A brain cannot function properly unless it is given the proper fuel. So too, the rest of the body.

I started exercizing regularly. I keep reading about how effective exercise is in combatting depression. I has been for me. Nutrition and exercise have a powerful effect on mood.

I lost 15 pounds and at age 44 I am almost down to my high school weight. I feel good, strong, powerful and healthy.

I got a new flattering hair style. I started applying a little makeup daily. Even on days when I felt lousy, I forced myself to apply a little color to make myself look a little livlier. (Men, I guess that one is out for you.)

I have more energy. I am able to give of myself to my children and to various volunteer projects without losing myself. (a codependant issue for sure!)

Sure, I still have many troubling days, my husband hasn't changed a bit. But I have changed and that makes life a little easier.

I am grateful that I have found this site and all of you strong, loving and giving people, who support me on those troubling days!

I am learning to take care of myself. I learning to love myself.

Please take care of yourselves too!
Peace,
Mishy

November 17, 2005
9:45 am
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nvr2late
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you are an inspiration to everyone..we do forget that we need to take care of ourselves....who would take care of our kids...mom's don't have the luxury of putting the family out of our minds when we are not with them.

That makes us SPECIAL not crazy! 🙂

November 17, 2005
10:01 am
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Getting Better
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Makes my troubles seem miniscule compared to yours, we will all succeed in our quests
Thanks for the inspiration.
Getting Better

November 17, 2005
10:12 am
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coastergirl
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Mishy, I agree you are an inspiration, I have just recetly started taking the steps of learning how to love myself. I just last month have learned what codependency is. I have been non-stop reading with self help books. Eating better, drinking water, doing for myself things I have never done before because I was to focused on the wrong person (my ex-boyfriend). I started counseling because I couldn't figure out why I kept giving into him. He obviously had no respect for me. He never hit me or called me names (not yet anyway) I was in denial that I was being abused because it wasn't the typical abuse that you read about. But emotional he was destroying me, telling me that my friends were bad for me, munipulating me, he gave me HPV at first he denied that I could have got it from him, I have known now for over a year that I have it and he still hasn't gone to get himself tested. We did once get in a fight because I caught him in a lie, he lost his temper and pushed me from the bed to the floor, then prededed to get up over me then through me across the room. I cried for over an hour while he sat on the couch watching television, he was so cold to me I stayed away from him for awhile after that but only to find myself forgiving him later, for now that was the only time that he actually got physical with me but I have seen his temper in other area's and I figure it's only a matter of time before the pysical abuse happens agian. It has been three weeks since I last saw him, he came knocking at my door last week but I stayed strong, right now he is playing sweet you know that (but honey I really love you shit) trying to get me realed back in to the manipulation,I am scared though because the longer and harder he has to try to win me the worse his temper will get and he is unpredictable. I am not giving in though and it is reading stories from women like you that are helping remind me of what I am staying away from.

November 17, 2005
1:08 pm
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angel1
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great to here your doing so well...

November 17, 2005
1:34 pm
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Lass
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Mishy, I love you girl. My first husband was arrested for kicking at my stomach just after my son was born. You are your children's mom. Victory to you.

LL

November 17, 2005
1:36 pm
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addicts wife
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(((((Mishy))))))
I am in the process of Really Reallllly taking care of myself.
It is Amazing How some "Little things" can lead you to feel so Much Better!!!!

I whole heartedly agree wit the nutritional aspect of our body and minds responding better when we eat healthier. I am in the process of getting back into my "Health nut" phase and removing refined sugars...((Hardly eat them anyway, Ive been diabetic for 30 yerars, but even the flours, certain wheats, adn meats injected with god knows what's... Im feeling better already.

Ive also changed my hair a little, wenjoy "putting my face on" make myself wear clothes that fit,((Not my super comfy yoga pants and sweatshirts)) they seem like "Comfort clothes" but when you're depressed/stressed etc. It adds to my feeling frumpy, dumpy and "not quite right."
And letting go of wondering what , how my "him" will be has been fabulously empowering. I didnt even see that I was allowing his actions or lack of actions to "Cripple me" not knowing when hed be home, what condition he'd be when he got here, I was afraid to get off the couch or leave the house.And honestly... My situation isn't wasn't "That bad" But I somehow gave that kind of power to him, because it has the potential to be that bad, and I was already depressed to begin with. Terrible cycle I allwoed myself to go through... But I've been getting outta the house everyday, Not worrting about being here with a meal etc because he might be home for dinner.
I make plans for myself now, and they do NOT revolve around HIM, they revolve around me and what I want and need to do.
Its awesome!!!!

You have been through much much more than lot of people, but somehow its the same... probably becasue we werent taking care of ourselves!!
Your thread here and posts have really inspired me!!! and Im sure are doing the same for a lot of others here as well.

Im kinda blabbertying sdo I'll end for now... But really sincerely Thank you for starting this thrwad!!!!!

YOU rock Mishy, and Im proud of you!!!!!
;D
Aw

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