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Sweet Amanda, we are here for you!
January 17, 2005
12:39 pm
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sewunique
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Amanda,

I am sorry, I just missed your post to Bub until now.

I am sorry about losing your father last week. I did not know. It is hard to lose a paretnt at any age, and you are so young for this to happen. How are you holding up? It is so hectic when this happens, we seem to just go thru the motions and get done what has to be done. Often it hits us hard until later.

I hope you are doing ok and have the support of family and friends with you during this time. We are here for you, as ever.

Love and ((((hugs)))) to you at this difficult time.

Sew

January 17, 2005
12:46 pm
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salmon
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Amanda,

You were one of the first to ever respond to my thread and I could immediately tell that you are a caring and compassionate individual. I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I've often said that a person does not go away IF you keep them alive in your heart. Remember all the good times you've shared with him as the memory is what keeps the love for him within you kindled and alive.

Please accept my sincerest condolences from a person that admires your caring and loving way.

Most sincerely,
Salmon

January 17, 2005
1:25 pm
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bubishi76
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Amanda Honey,

YOu know I Love you with all my heart. I'm here for you if there is anything I can do. I send you and your Fam my best. Sending all my lovin' your way. Keep that chin up Honey. ;o)

~Bubishi~
~The Peaceful Warrior~

January 17, 2005
1:30 pm
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CAMER
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Hi Amanda...hope you are doing ok, again I am so sorry for the death of your dad & know you can come here & talk anytime. Sending lots of love and comfort your way!!! (((camer)))

January 17, 2005
5:08 pm
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SweetAmanda
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Thank you everyone! I love you too!

I will be back, I just feel sick on top of everything else (maybe strep throat?) and so I have this run-over-by-a-truck type of thing about me.

I have to go back to work tonight. I don't wanna.

On top of that, my dad's brother and his wife are being very secretive, and are excluding me from the handling of my father's estate. I know that they are stealing his belongings. I am at the point that I don't even care. Let them have it all. It's just not worth it.

I am so tired and achy. Okay, sorry for all the complaints! See you later. =)

blah, Amanda

January 17, 2005
8:06 pm
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sewunique
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January 17, 2005
8:27 pm
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silence
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Yeah, the weather over on this side of the country just sucks. It's warm, it's cold, it's hot it's freezing. Everybody is getting sick.

January 17, 2005
11:54 pm
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jewel
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Amanda,

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry to hear about your father. I will be here for you if you need me. Just remember that. Anytime, any hour. Many hugs to you.

Jewel

January 18, 2005
12:47 am
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D dog
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Hey Amanda - I lost my Mum 4 years ago, I know what it feels like. My heart goes out to you. It took me 3 years to be able to face it, yet alone "get over it". I just want you 2 know that you are not alone. We all lose people in this life, and one day, we ourselves will be lost. Let every day be a celebration of what you have. And let every day be a memory of those you have loved.

Love always,
D Dog

January 18, 2005
9:29 pm
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bubishi76
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Hey Amanda,
Just here checkin on ya my love. How ya doin'? Write and let me and everyone else know. (((HUGS))) ;o)
~B~

January 19, 2005
9:04 am
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SweetAmanda
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I'm okay. Thanks for checking up on me.

(Hugs)

Amanda

January 19, 2005
9:10 am
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mj
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Sorry to hear of your loss.
My heart goes out to you, Sweet Amanda. May God Bless and keep you safe.

January 19, 2005
9:25 am
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Cactus
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Hey Amanda,
Sorry for your loss, I'm also saddened that you have to put up with your uncle and his wife's pettiness regarding the estate. One word of caution please don't be so quick to give them everything you have a much better chance and a right of getting some of your father's things (the things that you might later want) now then after they take possession. Just make sure you truly wish to give up everything. Feeling like you've been railroaded could just add insult to an already painful experience. Take care of yourself. Part of our recovery is not being taken advantage of.

-Cactus

January 19, 2005
9:31 am
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Alegab
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Hi Amanda- My deepest condolences for the loss of your father. Death is something that we all hate to accept, especially if it was someone who was close to you and meant alot. Its a grieving process that cannot be avoided. Just think that he is in a better place (i know it is difficult to comprehend that right now).

I totally agree with Cactus' advice. Think about it.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Please take care.

Love and lots of hugs today and always.

Alegab

January 19, 2005
9:43 am
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Cactus
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Good morning Alegab,
How are you this fine morning?

-Cactus

January 19, 2005
12:35 pm
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art angel
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Amanda,

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I haven't been on this site in a while, so I'm sorry I didn't post earlier. I hope everything is going OK, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

love

art angel

January 19, 2005
2:08 pm
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Alegab
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Hi Cactus- How are you? Thanks for asking about me. I am doing so so. Trying to keep my head above water. I am sick today. Running some fever and feeling real yucky. Hope to be better tomorrow.

As far as my BIG ISSUES are concerned i am still trying to work on myself and do the best i can. I can't keep beating myself up for "falling". I know one day i will be able to WALK and not fall that often. We all make mistakes but we must be able to forgive ourselves.

I will keep you posted. Thanks again for asking.

Love and Hugs
Alegab

January 19, 2005
4:05 pm
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Juanita
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Sweet Amanda,

I am so sorry for your loss. I do not check the site everyday, so did not know sooner.

I firmly believe your Dad is by your side in spirit, and you can lean on him when you need to.

Do not let your Uncle, or others, railroad you. I agree with Cactus. It is a shame family can be so greedy with family. You are young, he's your Dad, you are entitled to his estate unless he put it differently in writing somewhere. I hope you have someone to help you wherever you are, to guide you, and to speak to.

Sending you warmth and strength to deal with your loss, and your family members.

Take a deep breath, your Dad is near.

((((hug))))
J

January 19, 2005
4:32 pm
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Cici
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My deepest sympathies....my Dad is terminally ill and it really is painful to grieve over the loss of a loved one. Grief counseling is helping a lot....have you thought about that?

January 20, 2005
11:38 am
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SweetAmanda
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Thanks some more!

I am seeing a lawyer today about my dad's things. I don't want to seem like I am money-hungry or greedy... But I just feel that there are some things that the kids should be entitled to first, not his brother. It makes me angry.

Anyways, I am STILL sick. =( I have not gone to the doctor yet... Everyday I think "Well, I feel a little better, I will see how I am tomorrow." Then that night I feel worse, so I decide to call the next day and make an appointment, but by the next day I feel a little better, so the cycle starts again! lol I haven’t been sick in forever. And this happened at the worst possible time.

Work sucks. What's new? I can’t call off to take time to ‘get better’ because I missed 3 days for my dad... That is considered 1 call-off event. Then, about one, maybe two weeks before that I called off for one day because I didn’t feel like going in. (That counts as 1 call-off event.) I am at my limit. If I were to call off for ANYTHING, ANY REASON... I will get written up. =( It happened to me last year. Actually, at this same time last year. I can’t lose my job. I’m not a member of the union, I won’t pay those ridiculous fees, but I still receive the benefits... So last year they helped me get my write up to last for 90-days, and to be expunged from my record after 6 months. Instead of 180 days and 2 years respectively.

I sometimes still can't believe he's dead.

So is grief counseling different than regular counseling?

I'm not afraid of death, really. But I don't really know if I believe that my dad can hear me... nor do I know if he is near. That stuff kinda creeps me out. I mean, he is dead. Gone. You know? I don't mind that. I'm not mourning or being sad for him, I'm sad for myself.

It’s been a week.

January 20, 2005
6:16 pm
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bubishi76
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Amanda,
SweetHeart, what have you done to make yourself smile through this??? I know, it may sound selfish but you need a little smile. ;o) Things suck I know but you are not alone. We are all her for you and that is a strength all in itself. I know you have what it takes. Climbing the mountain is hard, been there. WHat if I come and give you a piggy-back ride up the mountain?? You may have to roll me down the other side cause my legs will be shot but I'll get ya up there. What d'ya say????? ;o) Oh wait....wait.... is that a smile I see cracking there?? You can't hide it even over the computer. Now that's the smile Ive come to know and love. ((((HUGS)))) to you honey. Keep that chin up huh. Love Ya

~Bubishi~
~The Peaceful Warrior~

January 20, 2005
6:22 pm
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workinonit
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Amanda, I understand your pain. My dad died when I was older but I think the hardest loss for a woman is her father. There were issues between us but he called me 1 month before he died, extending the peace branch. I was so happy and then he left me.

I talked to him often after he died, trying to work out my feelings. At the time, I was with my first ex and his influence was a big reason for the rift with my dad. But, my dad's death was a big reason for my waking up!!! So, in the end, my dad still came through for me in the only way he could and Amanda, I'll never forget that.

Dads are the best, at least for some of us and I hope your warm, loving memories see you through these days ahead. Please vent wqhen you need to.

Love, Lori

January 21, 2005
5:23 pm
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SweetAmanda
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bubby... yes, you did get me to smile. Darn you!

Thanks workin... =) But I'm all better now really.

I wasn't close to my dad.

It's either that or what I have feared my whole life: That my soul is made of ice and I'm unable to feel.

January 22, 2005
1:05 am
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bubishi76
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Amanda,
Hey Sweetheart, missed ya. ;o) Don't you give me that crap about being unable to feel. If you were unable to feel, you wouldn't have come to this site to begin with because you wouldn't have given a squat. And besides, we've had some good times and some laughs and cries and ... well, you and I know what else. ;o) Ha. And I wouldn't have gotten a smile out of you if you didn't feel. You're going through the stages of coping so don't worry if you've reached acceptance. That is a beautiful thing. That is what gets you back to the Valley. God knows there's a party going on down here. It's all speedos and lamp shades!!! So, How's about you gettin' your hott little tush back down here in the Valley with me and experience some happiness. Oh, and you never did say whether or not you wanted that piggy back ride???? ;o)

~Bubishi~
~The Peaceful Warrior~

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters when compared to what lies within us."

January 22, 2005
1:14 am
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SweetAmanda
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I love you Bubishi! xoxoxo

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