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SUSPICIOUS BUT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT DAY OF MY LIFE
June 17, 2007
5:25 pm
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Anonymous
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Ive been looking out for bad weather but decided its a waste of time.

I should think I rolled out of depression and rolled into hypomania since my budget is really in the red right now. But in two weeks I should have settled that.

The nice thing is that Im really looking forward to my next chore, next outing, next day! I didnt know the feeling of that. Everything was an ordeal. Now Im doing something and already thinking of the other thing I wanna do. That´s why I thinkin hypomania.

I even had a minor setback as Frisky ran away. He crawled the window bars, balanced itself on the window pane amd jumped onto the low roof next to it. But he came back. And we are fine. So Im not going to second guess my happinness too much. And I dont have to be a mess to get attention here. There is enough I need to learn to grow!

So, here I am. Ressurecting my thread. Hoping to get your stories, experiences and valuable insight. Tks.

June 17, 2007
5:29 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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So glad Frisky came back. keep that attitude.

June 17, 2007
6:01 pm
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((((Sini)))))

So happy to hear Frisky came back home- he knows where he is loved and by whom : )

Also just as happy to hear/read/feel/see/sense such an optimistic attitude! Your right about not second guessing the ‘why’ of the change …just enjoy. Once we’ve been in the dark and we finally cross over into the light- who cares as to why it happened- just that it happened because it feels so awesome!

June 17, 2007
6:23 pm
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(((TIGER))) (((LL)))

Thanks, guys! Certainly need to keep the attitude and not second guess myself as LL once said. Thats part of the challenge. And what a nice one for a change! 🙂

June 20, 2007
8:30 pm
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And actually, Shaney said I shouldnt second guess myself, too. I think you´re all helping me put one foot in front of the other without running faster than my angel can fly! Got a little cold, no sleep, little energy, just trying to keep things up. New potential students making queries. Old ones demanding some attention on a personal perspective. Conversation classes may lead to that. I need to be thankful they like talking to me. THank all for your helping me look forward to my tomorow.

June 21, 2007
8:15 pm
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Hey, you readers! Im having to bump myself up. Dont mind anyone doing it for me.

Ive been fooling myself and you I dunno about exactly what. But I spent the other night awake. So I slept in today enough to miss my lunch appt with my sis. Ugh!

Well, I´m in the red but the way things go, I should be out of it soon. Nevertheless Im betting thats whats kept me awake. I think of all the things I need... PC stuff incl monitor, heater, glasses, a tooth implant and and and... But as I sad, I just need to be strong and healthy. Remind me to join yoga or something.

Students do come up, I went to make copies and a lady with a masters and English courses asked me for conversation classes. Then a delivery came from the pet shop and the owner tells me hes an engineer, did a full English course and wants more classes. I cant comoplain about finding work!

And my faithful Frisky is sitting on my lap sleeping. I know Im lovable. Hope someone special out there sees this, too. Today I gave F a ping pong ball, how fun to watch it! I took F with me to Claro cellular shop and a lady kept F on her lap the whole time and more :O) He IS lovable, too!

I wished my cell phone worked, though. They say, say! theyre gonna redirect the antenna but negative me is thinking there is something they cánt bypass around here, like the power station. Well, lets see. Coverage everywhere, right? Right?! Did anyone have something like this happen? I wonder if I should sue to get out of this company. Just signed up for an account/contract of 10 months.

Shoot (Im screaming adjectives, F woke up), my PC is acting up, too. It freezes every other paragraph.

Ah, one of my students got to her car after class and found it was robbed: spare tire, sound stuff and her glasses, yes, her sun glasses. The way things are around here, Im glad its just the ring gone, not the finger. But this too has solution. And its inexpensive. I talked to the guys of the security agency in front and they confirmed. I can have a young man stand by my student´s car until she comes back. I dont even have to look out for her to get in the car! She will just tip him. Its worth even if I have to tip him, too.

All in all, how´s my attitude??

hugs,

S

June 21, 2007
11:30 pm
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Maybe I shouldnt do this but second guessing myself is a second nature of mine. So, below is what I posted on another thread. You tell me if this is a good summing up of my story lately. Hate to lie to myself. Or miss something for that matter. tks

**********************************************************

Going very fast to nowhere, thats how I used to feel. A lot of childhood issues, too, plus depression on top of that.

I have finally began to move beyond chronic severe depression after trying to terminate myself May last year. What I can say is little more than fake it till you make it, but it makes all the difference.

Yes, life is a journey, and only death and taxes are for sure. The small thing that makes a difference in my life right now is balance. Where there was loneliness, I adopted a cat. Where the house was bare, I added flower arrangements. I still need to get back to church and join a yoga group. Ah, I kept my bicycle. Just put a lighter gear in it, the one I like to use.

Each day I see my cat and it meaows at me, I know Im not alone and Im lovable. Each time I make a flower arrangement (kinda Ikebana) I remember life is beauty. I can never make a bad arrangement, only different. So I think I may be just original, too. I volunteered to teach ESL to a 7 y.o. girl who is very smart for her own good.

I also lessened the control issue on my family. Because of circumstances gave an example that suited me. The person said something like, when you explain your boundaries, youre being assertive. When you yell at somebody for not respecting your boudaries, youre trying to control the results. I didnt yell, except when yelled at about twice. But I resented so badly not being understood. I loosened the grip on that. And I began seeing less of my closest family members, and when I do, its for the right reason, we miss each other, I am missed, too.

I do see a therapist. Chnging therapist was my first major decision that started the ball rolling. Not the change per se, but the decision making.

Finally, we should remember the Solomon ring saying: this too shall pass! If you really want, you can be happy. Just dont fall to the rock bottom. Its a slow deep never ending journey that´s very hard to come out of. I should know...

June 21, 2007
11:36 pm
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Oh Sini, you are very loveable!!! I am sorry you didn't sleep well...worrying can do that. I have tried in the last few years when I worry about money problems is to think that I have survived this far financially and I will continue. Things seem to work out, but usually not they way I expected or planned.

(((sini)))

June 22, 2007
7:52 am
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Tks, GG! I guess the disease of overthinking or mind racing is always with me.

One thing is Ifeel Im a big girl and can´t ask for help. The other is I wish bros and sis´s would offer. I know its self defeating to dwell on that hope. If I come close to dying theyre there and my young sis is not well off, just her hubbie is better off. I have aunts who want to help me, and this time I asked. I made me feel like its one of the options I have, so why not? My family isnt friends with them but I have nothing to do with it. And I feel now empowered enough to say I can help my greataunts too if they needed. I dont need to feel bad about getting help if Im doing my best to get ahead. If I worry its very hard to be in a mindframe that leads to success. Let the novel unroll. Maybe my family cant be that critical of me.

June 22, 2007
5:24 pm
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I feel so tired I wanna cry. Ive been doing more than I used to which was not much. Anyway, good night, everyone! Hope youre tucked in safely tonite.

June 22, 2007
6:32 pm
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Shaney
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sini girl!

You, my friend, are living your life - and a pretty good one at that - rejoice that you've come this far. From the outside looking in, I see nothing but growth and good things. We all have less time than we need to get things done - I think that's typical. Our pockets are never full enough to allow us to get the things we want and need - which sucks, but it's typical. We could all use more exercise, more sleep, more love, and definitely more cell phone coverage. I don't see you letting any of these "typical" things get you down. Months ago, you would have let these typical things push you under and keep you there. But you're not. You're dealing with the ups and downs of life like a true pro. Like someone who can see the solution, or at least something close to a solution, dead ahead or right around the corner. You're maintaining hope and a good attitude and there's nothing more that you can possibly do than that.

If it makes you feel any better... I haven't had the energy to do much lately either. And all I want to do is catch up on my sleep. I need to lose 15 pounds, but I'm too lazy to exercise. I WANT to, but for whatever reason, I'm not. I haven't done anything creative for a couple of months now. BUT (big but)... I know that this is just a funk that I'm experiencing. I'll get the energy, and I know I'll make things happen. Just like I know YOU will make things happen too.

NO MORE SELF DOUBT MISS SINI! You've been proven wrong every time you've doubted yourself. That's a pretty good record! I think it's time you settle on the fact that you are doing well because of your abilities, your instincts, and your good decisions. I think you're quite normal, really :o).

June 23, 2007
5:58 pm
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Hey, so good to hear from you! Youve just been to a great ordeal with the pups and then now with hubbie having a separate vacation. Im actually taking this weekend to sleep more and I didnt go through half of what you went through. Youre the master, lady!

Wow, normal me! Just really thwarted like everybody else, right? Great thing!! My best diagnosis so far!!! After all the changes Ive made Ive got the Secret and the power of attraction ppp. Its really nice though! Let me know if you want me to paste the message to you (any readers, too)

Now if youre in a funk, we know thatll be for a short period. If you dont feel you have to fix anyone, or there is a crisis in your family, youre good to take care of yourself quickly! And I hope you do! Im looking for a mix of yoga and pylates, it seems good. Sending you good vibes for your choice of exercise!

Im waiting for Frisky right now to come back from the vet for his castration. I dont know that hell come back too sedated or not but Ill wait for him with a apple tea which I know he likes. Hes been going up the window and door bars probably due to the scent of a lady cat. I hope that ceases!

As for the car contents robbery of my student, I have two men who ara availaable to watch the cars for a hand in. Things do have solutions. My student most likely didnt have an alarm or anything. There are pull out radios. Now for taking the spare tire, thats a bit much. The whole thing is since we are in front of a security agency (which mainly has scorts for the ladies to go catch the bus, though).

Well, Shaney, Im folding in too as soon as Frisky is here. Yes, he already sleeps in my bed. Now, he is here from the vet. Im gonna take care of him. Just a bit sedated but his tail is wiggling. Let me goo before he jumps around too much!

Tks for stopping by, Shaney!

June 24, 2007
5:39 pm
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Frisky is back to normal and Im tired. Had to teach today. Oh, well, thats what paretns are for!

June 28, 2007
4:07 pm
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Well, Im guessing Im hipomaniac and should deal lwith it! The thing is my neighbor offered me another ex-abandoned 3-month old she kitty he can´t keep b/c of his dogs. Im about to do some adaptation this weekend to see how things go. I know it wont be enough time to tell how things will go but it will be an adaptation for me if I survice the chaos.

Im not sure what Im thinking. One thing is I hope Frisky will have a friend to play with and forget about tumbling my home down when he´s in his hunter modality. You see, he flew twice and I was lucky I had nice neighbors who caught him for me. I need to keep him inside until his castration quiet him down a bit and hopefully he wont go too far when loose so he finds his way back. Then I hope the scent of his lady friend cat will help him find his way home. Now if they flee together... they deserve to get lost, he he... No, I mean, in two they should come back, right? Oh, well, some many if´s. It used to be easy when houses were the size of a block with a big yard instead of a small patio.

Whatelse... Im thinking pity, pity, pity, the little girl kitty can´t be abandoned twice. And here goes they are looking for an adopter, they wont abandon the kitty, I guess.

More irrational thinking: I worried about the expenses for Frisky. Now with two cats, well, I havent slept over my budget and that was part of it.

I just so want to have a little kitti to play with Frisky. I do some interacting with Frisky but he just plain has too much energy for me. And so does the next kitty, they tell me. So, they should be a good match. They even look alike!

Ok, Ill get the spray bottle again to part the fights. Im preparing a basket with a pink blanket for Caqui (cah-kee). Hope they could share the litter box for the weekend but Ill have a cardboard box ready (this is tricky since Caqui goes outside at her house). Have separate plates for them. What else? I mean tahis will be immersion adaptation. Good thing my day classes were cancelled tomorrow. I may do a one day adaptation and return the kitty Saturday morning before another class. Dont intend to take part on any cat-cide.

Oh, after this I will try a cockatoo. I just love them so much. Im animal crazy and now that I got the taste... Well, Ill wait to see the span of Frisky´s jump as an adult. And to see how crazy I can go before it :O)

Any counsel and suggestions appreciated!

June 29, 2007
9:10 am
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risingfromtheashes
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sininho...could you get a crate...keep new kitty in crate, so kitties can sniff, smell, get used to eachother?

or keep new kitty in separate room so she can adapt to new environment, one room at a time...and frisky can get used to "something" being in the house before truly introduced?

many kitties will hide from eachother once introduced.

I don't let my kitties outside...it cuts WAY down on maintenance costs, as I don't have to fight fleas or worry about all the diseases, in fact, I only get rabies shots because they are required...because my kitties aren't exposed to any other animals, I don't need to keep up on regular shots.

The only expense I found was getting them fixed...again, I would have done only one cat, the boy, to keep him from spraying, but my landlord requirees all pets to be fixed.

cat food isn't all that expensive...and yeah, you should realistically need two boxes if they are indoor cats, one for each...but if they go outdoors, they will probably continue to do that.

new kitty may "tame" frisky...or they may become more frisky together.

good luck.

June 29, 2007
7:29 pm
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Hey, Rising, I got the crate, a basket with a pink blanket and it was very appreciated for its higher edges.

They shied away from each other at first, hiding out, as you said. Now Frisky reminds me of a boy who sat behind me in school and teased my poney tail with a ruler. Frisky has been tryin to get close but she hisses at him. I dont know of his intentions. He swats at her and she hisses back, then he swats stronger. Men cant take a no, he he.

Anyway, theyve been doing their stuff. She hasnt been eating but slept a lot. Growing 3-month old. Frisky is 6 m.o. Shes got her pet food and her blanket from home. I gave them each their space for a good time. First he seemed scared, then she seems more now...

I learned some savings tips on dirt and stuff. Dont even wanna hink about maintenance costs when theyre outside! Will see if Frisky runs and Caqui stays as per macho and lady stuff... he got fixed last week, shell be next.

Its amazing what can drive one to make more money. As my psychologist said I got this pulse (cat now cats)in my house where before there was none. Now I find I could make more money, ha!

I have to fix another litter box, only. She will need one. Now for Frisky is friskier but I expected worse. Hes himself tumbling vases (my modest ikebanas).

So tonight Frisky sleeps in my room, maybe my feet, or living room. Caqui is already sleeping on the other end of my very small house. Yeah, luck to me, thanks! It looks like098 Caqui is for keeps!

hugs,

June 30, 2007
8:12 pm
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Well, I let them loose! I thought Frisky would feel invaded but he´s having fun chasing Caqui. She scares him off which is good. All the noise I hear is he tumbling over stuff b/c he jumped backwards. Caqui got tired of hiding and is out to get Frisky sometimes, which he seems to think (did I say think?) is play. Hope they are wasted when its time to sleep!I think they enjoy the chase but I give them time out.

Im not sure about Caqui. I wanna keep her but I havent had the bond I had with Frisky at first sight. Anyhow, its Frisky´s choice, too. He seems to like her in his own way.

And since Im making a partition in the kitchen for the one cat I have... it´ll serve for the two. I cant close the kitchen since there would be no window...

July 3, 2007
9:47 pm
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Feline News:

Well they are an item! I caught Frisky in her basket and he had this embarassed look on his face. Maybe it was all the pink around him. Hes more self conscious now. He even behaves more grown up. When Caqui comes to eat on his plate he backs out!! Unless he´s really starving!

Frisky is quite a bit quieter just following Caqui around. Of course, I wont let Caqui go, now!

July 3, 2007
10:03 pm
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Hi sininho-

I wish we could put up pictures of our pets. I would love to see your kitties! My dog is 9 pounds and she is a shame to her species because she definitely thinks she's a cat.

Funny you should say the thing bout making more money. One of my friends got her graduate degree so that she could afford the vet bills for her aging cats. It's love.

July 3, 2007
10:14 pm
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Sini, I have to tell you that I am NOT an animal lover (I think because I never was allowed to have a pet growing up),BUT I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread about the cats. You tell it like a story and I keep checking back for an update on them! I too, ella, wish we could post pictures.

July 4, 2007
8:42 pm
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You should see my chinchilla/Persian kitty. She is Adooooooooooooooorable!!! Today, I came back home and I just hugged her and tears started to come out of my ears. PP is my best friend. She never hurt me.

You're right ella. I wish if we could put up our pets' picutres. It would be fun, even tho I don't have a scanner. Lately, I've been having an unfair trial and PP's presense in my life really helped me cope with this unfair trial.

I, too, have a basked to my kitty and put it by my pc in which PP keeps jumping up and sit majectically in it just like a princess.

What a beautiful thread taking about our lovely furry friends. Keep it up folks!!!! I love you all with your sweet pets! (((Hugs)))

July 5, 2007
8:46 pm
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Well, with cheers and advice from you all, its just so much more enjoyable to have pets! Adaptation stress is over and Frisky and Caqui are having fun playing!

Today I told my fav sis about Frisky´s friend, and unlike I thought, she said "its so nice for Frisky to have a friend! Now you dont have to worry so much about leaving Frisky alone when you come to visit us!" How nice!

As I said, Im a little tired over the feline endeavour but overall full of joy. First I was anxious with the new kitty friend for F and had too much time on my hands with cancelled classes, couldnt sleep, wanted to spend all my money on more cat stuff. Then I got busy, excited and tired. Now Im taking care of me and classes, trying to catch up. These are the times I wonder about my mood swings. Then I just wonder if animal lovers wouldnt act the same when welcoming two lovely albeit defyant creatures to their lives?!

Ella, Im not terribly proud of my pets´looks but I think they are adorable. I cant think of going through what Shaney has gone through with her dogs. One for the money but mostly for the pain we suffer with them. I hope the fact that both are kind of plain gives them more immunity, as some say.

Now for looks, theyre both black and white, F more so than C. C´s more black - mainly just a white chest. Ss got a black goatee beard under a white mouth frame which makes her look more toughie and less female. Though her sweet persistent outreaching temperament makes up for any weaker traits she has. F´s got more white: mouth frame, chest, 2 legs and 2 paws. He´s stuborn, very curious and can be really cuddlesome. Their best trait is that they remain quiet in their room when Im teaching. And when Im finished, theyre on their paws to greet me, as if they understand the situation.

GG, you may not be so hung over your pets but for your stories with your dogs and cats, you ARE an animal lover, imho! Just not fussy about it!

Ras, youre such an owl mother (have you heard of that?) But I bet PP is really precious! And the way you both relate is so lovable!

All the best to you all. And tk you for checking on us!

July 5, 2007
9:25 pm
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"Ras, youre such an owl mother (have you heard of that?)"

No I haven't heard about this, what does it mean???

July 5, 2007
10:43 pm
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sininho-

Well, you have a point- photographs would not capture the true wonderfulness of our pets I guess. I am always disappointed that my dog's qualities don't always come across in photos. A lot of it is in something they radiate that can't be captured in two demensions. Like cuddles.

July 7, 2007
9:46 pm
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(((Ras))) The offspring of an owl is supposedly really ugly but not for the owl mother, of course! One thing is for sure, PP will always be getting prettier in your mom´s eyes.

(((Ella))) I find pets have a million expressions that go by in a second. Trying to capture sweetness or embarassment is almost impossible - then again only the pet owner/parent could tell and tahey might be taken for crazy if they do!!! 🙂

hugs,

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