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sunray back after 1 year needs your help
January 12, 2006
12:38 pm
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sunray
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Bruce and i have been in relationship for 4 yrs. we love each other their is no question. he has commintment to his college children as their tuition is 70,000 a yr. i financialaly have always had hard time's raising children alone.well we broke up last jan. i started dating a man from work to distract me from a broken heart as he lied to me about his gambling problem when he lost he would take it out on me . he stop gambling and we went back. last jan. i used up all my sick time and vac. july i had a heartattack in the colon very, very sick. but out of work with no pay . bill the man from work that i dated moved rite in as he new the situation. i stood the chance of being homeless with 3 children . he used that to his advantage knowing i didn't love him but i had no other choice . bruce painfully stepped aside as there was nothing finacially he could do . bill has lived since then . he drinks we had sex in august because i got drunk too thats the inly way as i don't love him. that was the last time . he still pays all the bill's and is in this pretend relationship as i show him no affection at all . i am cilvil and treat him with respect. but i miss my indepence terribly and bruce . before bill moveed in he lived in his mothers basement after a divorce. for about 4 yrs. now he lives in my house has my children to talk with as they loke him and are gratefull except for his drinking. which i hate he acts lick a baby as though i should be rocking him in my lap while he sucks his thumb. to show my apprecation i do his wash keep the house nice .clean sheets. dinner when he comes home but thereis no love. i will soon get an answer from s.s disability. than i can support my self get my home back my independence . question is how do i tell bill with out hurting as good as he has been to us . i have never depended on anyone i want it back. and i want bruce back as he is my true mate

January 12, 2006
12:53 pm
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jewel2
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oh sunray what a horrible and vulnerable position you were in - I am so sorry. You know you already kind of have your answer; you were very articulate in describing how Bill helped you out at a very bad time and how the relationship is very one-sided. You need to sit down with this man and thank him in as many way as you verbally can for his assistance but also make it clear that even though you respect and appreciate him, that there is no love there for you. Don't mention Bruce - this would only hurt more and Bruce is not the main motivation here, your independence is. Don't have the discussion in front of the kids. Perhaps you could still share a friendship especially as your kids seem taken with him? He obviously has a need to be needed so it's important that the discusssion doesn't come over as rejection so be kind but also firm about your needs. Good luck!

January 12, 2006
3:29 pm
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sunray
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jewel you have hit the nail. i am going to tell him we will always be your family . you will never be alone . and he can stay as long as jt takes to save for an apartment. there is no sex. when he wants to kiss me i turn my cheek. he knows ,doesnt want to face the reality of it.
thank you so much for your feed back you were honest with me last year and it really helped thank you

January 12, 2006
8:22 pm
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jewel2
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