Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Suicide and me
March 17, 2009
3:31 am
Avatar
MarkBroccardo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

cpt1212

So glad to hear it's not as bad. It seems so impossible when those horrible thoughts and feelings are attacking you, and almost impossible to separate from them. With me they seem to get intense every once in a while without any notice... but then they usually pass after a few days and it gets a little better.

Know that you are not alone bro. We are all hurting with you.

March 17, 2009
9:39 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

cpt1212-

How are you today?

-e

March 17, 2009
10:50 pm
Avatar
hopeful for change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You will not necesarrily be hospitalized for talking about feeling suicidal, thats what the doctors need to know so they can adjust your meds etc. If you are honest they can help you. Dishonestly they can;t or withholding info.

Suicide is permanent. I hope that you realize that no matter what suicide is not ever the answer. Hugs

March 21, 2009
1:05 am
Avatar
Guest
Guests

cpt1212-

How are you hanging in there?

-ella

March 21, 2009
11:36 am
Avatar
hopeful for change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am so sorry that I was so lost in my grief that I didnt post better or reply to you better.

I want to say this...Alot of times people are misdiagnosed with bipolar and the real diagnosis is Border Line Personality Disorder. I know this personally with one of my children.

If the depacote is not working, get in tell the doctor immediately there are several other medicines. Part of the reason the hospital is good is to get you on a med that is helping for sure.

One good form of therapy that is good if you can please try to look into it is call DBT and it is really helpful..please please look into it. There are groups so the way it works is you have individual counseling then groups with others that are feeling the exact same way, like my child. It always helps to know you are not alone. Everyone there absolutley loves it which really surprised me. Plus its friendships that you can call when you are feeling like this. One of the fundamental parts of DBT is that you have a counselor 24/7 you can call when you are feeling suicidal or feel like self harm.

My daughter has been on several medicines before we found the right one that worked for her and I believe thats true for everyone. The key is you have to talk to your doctor. If your doctor sucks, find another one.

I do not know your age...Will you tell us?

Suicide is very prominent in familys where others have commited suicide to..and you must know that suicide is a final solution to a temporary problem.

When you get on the right medicine it will help you feel alot better and then you will be able to more clearly think about what the Problems are that can be fixed.

Life sucks sometimes. Life hurts sometimes and sometimes it seems like it wont get better, but it will.

Right now my life is sucking. The love of my life just committed suicide. He was in a very dark place and refused to take medicine and get help. I bet anything if he could take it back he would. But he can't..he can't ...suicide looks like a good fairy tale when you are depressed, but its not. Its a horrilbe thing that destroys people.

You have to write a list of what you do want in your life, think of dreams....Look up and onward.

Even in our saddest and loneliest days when we think no one else cares..we are wrong. Many care...Many love us..thats our minds and our depression.

Dont ever give up.

March 23, 2009
7:02 am
Avatar
cpt1212
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hello,

thanks for following up with me, you will never know how much that means to me. In answer to a couple of questions and to clear a few things up I am not on depakote, but i do take an antidepressant. i have a pshychiatrist for med management and i see a counselor on a regular basis. i am 31yrs. old. i have been drinking lately at night to avoid the strong emotions that lead me to post originally. i know that is a poor substition. i just don't know another way to avoid the thoughts that i had previously. since i last posted another of my extended family members have been hospitalized - i don't know what is wrong with us.

hopeful for a change, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. and i thank you for sharing, i know it must have been difficult for you. please keep in touch with me, because i think that your perspective will help me and hopefully sharing will be theraputic for you.

why is happy so difficult to get next to and why can't hope be the default?

March 23, 2009
7:23 am
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi cpt1212

I had HUGE misconceptions about hospital psyche wards.

I thought admitting myself meant i was damged for good, beyond repair.

I was so wrong. Admitting myself in the hospital when i hit bottom with my depression was the best thing i ever did. I had the best care and met the most intersting people. It ended up being a starting point for growth and happiness.Real progrees from my familial "damage".

I actually met a few women in Hospital who i could relate to, see their stories and see that they were for the most part "normal". They just got sick with depression. One had hers brought on by a head injury, which i also have had when i was a pre teen.( that seemed to be when my brain trouble started)
I hope you can find the courage to do what it takes to try and get better.

Be Well!

March 23, 2009
7:39 am
Avatar
sexychoclady
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Mournin cpt1212 hope ur spirits are better today. I don't know your pain.But from the postings you are not alone. And remember you can come here to share your thoughts. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON YOU!!!!! Warmest Wishes.

March 23, 2009
8:46 am
Avatar
cpt1212
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

my therapist said part of making changes in my life is not just actions, but to stop hating myself. how do you change that?

March 26, 2009
1:01 am
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How are you doing, CPT1212

March 28, 2009
5:14 am
Avatar
cpt1212
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i am managing. i think that sometimes that is enough. and after a few days or weeks when i feel stronger and everything doesn't seem so fragile, I will do more.

i am talking candidly to my therapist and looking for a different pyschologist to manage my meds b/c the one i have is a tool. who knew trying to find a decent psychologist that is open to taking new patients could be a full time job.

thank you everyone. for your support. it means so much.

April 4, 2009
10:07 pm
Avatar
hopeful for change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am so sorry I havent been on here. I have just been devastated at the loss of my love who did commit suicide.

All I can stress to you is that suicide is not the answer. Its the end.

There is always hope..sometimes the chemicals in our mind get not be producing the right stuff and it can make us so off that we can not think or see clearly and we can feel that there is no hope and feel so bad that we want to die. This is when we have to get help.

Hospitals arent bad, they are there to help you in a time of need. Usually they are just there to get you stabalized on a medicine that for sure is helping you not feel suicidal.. its not jail..

I am not really in a place to give alot of advice as I am in a horrible horrible grieving process. But I can tell you this, if there are people in this world that you love at all..please dont do this to them. IT destroys those who are left behind. I have been through hell and back in my life and this is the worst thing ever. Nothing can fix it. It is horrible.

April 10, 2009
1:23 am
Avatar
cpt1212
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm so sorry that someone u loved took their own life, but please know it was not about you. I am on the edge myself, and I don't think anyone I know could say anything to persaude me.

April 10, 2009
11:33 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My late husband committed suicide nearly six years ago. To this day, his sons (now 24 and 20) and I still grieve, still struggle to move on and still carry open, bleeding wounds from his terrible choice.

I would urge anyone considering suicide to reach out for professional help immediately. When you kill yourself, you take alot of other lives with you...everyone who has ever cared about or loved you. Their lives are permanently destroyed, as well.

We will never be "whole." So, my husband's choice to take his own life took ours with him.

- Ma Strong

April 13, 2009
3:51 am
Avatar
cpt1212
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Stronghim77-

I can't tell u that is was not about u. As hard it is to understand, u are not the cause of someones suicide and could not have changed it - the decision is made apart from u and wrong or right the pain is unbearable.

April 13, 2009
10:43 am
Avatar
caraway
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((MA STRONG))

Cary

April 16, 2009
1:44 am
Avatar
cpt1212
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Stronghim77

I meant to say I can tell you it was NOT about you. Sorry for any misunderstanding. And thank you for sharing your experience. I believe this is my legacy due to my past and family history but am fighting to change this outlook with my therapist. Today I have found some hope (scarce, scarce hope) and hope to hang on to it. I wrote about it so that when I'm at a point that suicide seems logical I can go back and read it and maybe make until morning. Thank you for sharing and for reading

April 16, 2009
11:47 am
Avatar
PreciousG
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((cpt))))

April 17, 2009
11:00 pm
Avatar
cpt1212
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Fyi - I'm changing psychiatrists-going to see one monday that comes recommended, but have to pay out of pocket - but logically know it is worth it. I'm nervous wish me luck

April 23, 2009
8:39 pm
Avatar
onelifelost
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi cpt1212, do you realize how strong a person you are....you believe in yourself so much and are hanging onto life because you know you are here for a reason....you just have to find what that reason is..look back on your life and discover what made you sad,what emotions you felt that were so intense to make you want to disappear from this life...then you will discover that you really do love yourself, and maybe it is just a job or a change of friends or location that you need to get you on the right path again.Take care

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
30
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111019
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38569
Posts: 714309
Newest Members:
bravelassie, Chloe12, future life, austinjacob, Hadity1, JasonMcGhee
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information