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Suicial Boyfriend
March 23, 2008
11:10 pm
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Better days ahead
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I have a boyfriend that lives in another state. We have been dating a year and during the past 4 months, things have been really bad. Long story short, he did something unforgivable and my therapist told me to break ties with him. He made it easier by just avoiding me (He always did that as if he got a kick out of seeing me sad and lonely) and he told me he was leaving me alone (In an instant message) then he started bugging me, saying "Can you let me know if you got my message?"
I told him I saw his message and he started telling me how awful I was and all these other things to get under my skin. I turned the computer off and went shopping and when I returned, I saw that he had left a suicide letter (again) stating that he took 43 pills and drank beer. I called the cops and I don't know why I feel so guilty.
I didn't do anything wrong. I just told him that his behavior was outrageous and there is no way I could be with him again.
Now, I don't know if he is ok or what is going on with him. I feel horrible, but I also feel it is another ploy to get attention.
What should I do? I have let him treat me pretty bad for a long time and I don't want to be his punching bag anymore, but I don't want him to suffer either.

March 23, 2008
11:11 pm
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Oops!
Suicidal*

March 23, 2008
11:15 pm
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Zinnie
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You did the right thing by calling the police, they can make sure he is O.K. Basically, all you can really tell someone in that situation is "I would really hate that you would choose to hurt yourself, but, only you can make your own decisions for your own life."

Seems to me that you might want to consider blocking his e-mail and phone numbers - and continue moving on with your own life.

Good luck,

Z.

March 24, 2008
12:06 am
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fantas
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Your counselor is right, you need to let him be. You have no control over what he chooses to do with his life. Like Zinnie said, let him know that you would be sad if he did that but ultimately, it was his life and his choice. There is nothing to feel guilty about. You have no control over other people's actions only your own. All the best to you!

March 24, 2008
7:03 am
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Thanks Zinnie and Fantas! I woke up this morning feeling better.

March 24, 2008
7:34 am
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CAMER
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I agree with above, you can't control what he does or watch over him 24/7..that is not fair.

He is the one who needs help and is not seeking it out. And there is nothing that you can do to "save" this man.

I wish you the best.

((camer))

March 24, 2008
11:03 am
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atalose
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I am glad to see you are in therapy and your therapist has offered you great advice on breaking ties with him.

When you say he would avoid you did you mean through e-mail or phone because you mention he lives in another state?

I think you were smart to call the police. How did you handle it the first time he made this kind of threat?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

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