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suckered again?!?
August 2, 2005
8:41 pm
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22haha
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September 27, 2010
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Well, it had been about 10 days no contact with my bf of 6 yrs. He started coming around a little bit and I was strong and assertive. I told him he needs to get help or we can't be together aymore. So, he asked me to make him an appt -which I have (only the earliest they had was Oct.)He told me that he didn't want me to go and that he wants to be able to open up and let people in his life. He is tired of being abusive and that he never means to be or wants to be. So, now he thinks that because he has this appt everything is ok. He doesn't understand all the hurt and pain I feel from his abusiveness over the years, even thought I try to tell him. Well, today we talked and I asked him how he feels about marriage -a topic that had come up often - and he asked me.... "why do people always assume that if you date someone for a long time your automatically gonna get married?" So I replied "people usually date, fall in love and want to spend their life with each other" So I asked him "what do you think about us?" and he said "I'm not thinking anything right now."

Right now??? Its been 6 loooooooong years. Is this guy going to go to his appt? Is he going to be able to open up? Is he just terrified to commit? Am I just hanging on to a prayer that he finally has an appt? Any advise would be appreciated.

August 2, 2005
8:54 pm
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Rasputin
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Hi Haha22,

It must be VERY frustrating and infuriating to be in romantic relationship for 6 years with someone who is not taking it seriously.

I commend you for being upfront with your bf about the nature and end of your friendship. Keep up setting your boundaries, being assertive and sticking by your guns when it comes to asking him to seek help from therapist as well as well as getting married. people date in order to find out if they fit each other. You have been friends for 6 years. That's a VERY long period for someone to make up his/her mind.

His relpy to you: "why do people always assume that if you date someone for a long time your automatically gonna get married?" So I replied "people usually date, fall in love and want to spend their life with each other" So I asked him "what do you think about us?" and he said "I'm not thinking anything right now." does not sound positive and mature. If he insists on this stand, I would move on with my life.

Best of luck!

~Love, RAS~

August 3, 2005
12:48 am
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helpinghand
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Ras.. I have to commend you for your responses on this board.. always reaching out to those in need.. Sorry I know it didnt fit this post.. but your take on everything is so very much like mine.. as I visit more often I will have the courage to speak what I think.. *hats off* to you for always being there for all..

August 3, 2005
11:59 am
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Rasputin
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Hi Sweetie, (Helping Hand, very sweet and spiritual name btw!!!)

What comes out of me is from the Grace of my God/HP. I do not bring anything from outside. It has been a REAL PLEASURE TO ME to help others on this wonderful website as I have learned a lot from those precious cyber friends here.

A wise man once said: "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."

~Love, RAS~

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