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Such a Waste
June 18, 2008
5:39 am
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WizardofAus
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My lawyer spoke to her lawyer today.

They tell me that my ex-wife is to emotionally ill to come to mediation.

I feel so sad. About mid March, she went home to the USA to be with her dying mother. I nursed her by phone the whole time she was over there. I am pretty sure she was abusing her prescription drugs and she was emotionally very unstable.

She came home at the end of April, still in really bad shape. About three days later she headed off to her doctor to sort out her drugs. She never came back.

The next day she arrived with two police and two social workers to pick up her stuff. The social workers refused toi talk to me and the police were great guys, but knew nothing.

Later she claimed I was shouting at her.

I blame her 27 yo daughter who has been living off the marriage for over five years. I think she talked her into leaving when I challenged her to set herself up independently.

Now I am pretty sure that H has discovered that she cannot cope finnancially. I fairly sure that daughter told her she would get a monster settlement and now her lawyer has told her the truth.

I know I cannot let her back here. All my trust went when she turned on me without warning and brought those police in. That just scarred me forever.

However, tonight, I am feeling really sad that it is over.

I do really want to go and rescue her, but that is just a fantasy on my part. She probably would not appreciate me doing it. She is showing no signs of asking me to rescue her.

No, that is stupid talk; talking about rescuing.

Let's just say I feel really sad.

June 18, 2008
5:45 am
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Martyn
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oh wiz, i am so sorry....hey...when you reach the bottom....the only place to go is up. you are SO smart...I love what you have to say....you have compassion and wisdom...I think that you are a marvelous person. remember what I said about when you are hanging from the last thread...tie and knot and hang on? It will get better!!!! It HAS to because you are a special soul.
love you!

June 18, 2008
5:53 am
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Martyn
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Hey Wiz...what is it like to live down under? My husband has been there...I always wanted to see it for myself. Have you ever traveled anywhere else? I'll bet that Aus. is a feast for the eyes. I would love to see the landscape! I'll bet that you would have a good giggle at my southern American drawl.
Whale' Heck Farr ya'll!
🙂
HUG

June 18, 2008
5:55 am
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WizardofAus
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Thanks Marty.

You are up late. You are in North America aren't you?

Enjoying a bit of summer warmth, I guess. We are just starting to turn cold down here.

Yes, you are right. Things will look better in the morning, as Scarlet O'Hara said in Gone With the Wind.

June 18, 2008
6:01 am
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WizardofAus
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I live on the east coast just above Brisbane. We have the largest sand island in the world; just a gigantic sandhill coming up out of the ocean. The sand filters the rain water and you can just lie down in these creeks of pure water.

The sand island forms a big bay about 60 miles by 30 miles and in about a month, the whales will be up here from the south pole to have their babies.

We go out there to talk to them and they put on these dances for us, jumping right out of the water.

They really do communicate with us. They are beautiful creatures.

Australia is currently telling the Japanese that they have to stop killing them.

June 18, 2008
6:21 am
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Martyn
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Oh yes...I am up late....I have bouts of insomnia. This particular bit has been brought on by stress, and the high of figuring out what in the heck is wrong with me. I am fine though...truly! THANK GOD FOR COFFEE. I have to drive the little gremlins to summer school in a bit.

Aust. sounds so beautiful. What I would give to see the whales. I love animals. I have three dogs....a shnauser, a cocker spanial and a rat terrier mix that we rescued from an animal shelter...she had been abused. NO more...they are all three spoiled rat bags now. 🙂
I am so glad that someone is drawing a circle around the japanese....they have a law that allows them to sell the whales that accidently get killed....they figured out that there was a bit of the ol' hankey panky going on when they started monitoring the markets....tons of whale flesh. What we do to the enviroment.
It is about 100'f here....we get the muggiest weather at times...where the stickiness just clings. We are in the middle of a drought here in the south. It is really bad, We have a local man made lake that is so low....I have not see that in my entire lifetime of living in my community. Meanwhile, the Mississippi is cresting and flooding...those poor people in Iowa and all of those bread basket states...they are suffering so much...I just can't imagine. How are you feeling? Better? 🙂

June 18, 2008
6:25 am
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WizardofAus
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Yes thanks.
I had better go to bed. I have to go to work at midnight.
It is Tuesday night here.
Take care, Marty, and ya'll have a great day.
Or see you later, Maaaaate!

June 18, 2008
6:26 am
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Martyn
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oh....and "I swear, I will NEVAH be hungry again!!!"

Wow...I just checked my world clock on my cell phone...it is about 8:30 pm where you are (I am guessing...I have Sydney time) I never get used to all the time changes....we call England all of the time....and I forget.
Oh...and North America...right at cha.
Damned yankees.
LOL

June 18, 2008
6:28 am
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Martyn
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Me too. Onward and upward to coffee.
Sweet dreams my friend. Please take care.

June 25, 2008
12:39 am
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soofoo
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Aussie,
I wrote to you on your other thread, but it was on one of the freaky days that never existed on the AAC.

Aussie, remember the mantra. It's all in you.

June 25, 2008
2:38 am
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fantas
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(((Wizard))) I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. You sound like a really great guy and I'm sure your wife will really regret this once she gets better. Hang in there and take care of yourself. I'm sure she has people to take care of her....

Keep posting..

June 25, 2008
3:05 am
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_anonymous
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Wiz- Feeling sad is perfectly normal. I feel the same way about my husband leaving, at my insistence. The foundation of a relationship is trust, if their is no trust there is not love. I cant trust my husband either and cant take him back anymore.

If you rescue her you will give her the message that what she did was OK. If you dont rescue her she will be forced to deal with herself and the consequences of her actions.

False accusations are seriouse. A huge red flag. A person like that can put you at risk for being arrested or at the very least make you look bad. My husband once took a pair of shoes and hit himself in the face and said he would call the police and say I hit him and get me arrested to get revenge because he had been in jail. I immediatly left the house and called the police myself and he ran off. Scary very Scary. Makes me shudder to think about it and glad he is gone.

My STBX also abused perscription drugs and was very unstable. My life with him was pretty crazy.

It sounds like your life will be more peaceful with out your wife. You deserve serenity.

June 25, 2008
3:21 am
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CraigCo
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Tough stuff Wiz.
I have confidence that you will endure & come out shining at the other end of this lousy situation you find yourself in.
It's a tough ship to sail, isn't it?!
..steady as she goes.

It sounds like I wasn't the only one who may as well have tried to sack fog.
We'd have had better luck trying to becoming president than trying to stabilize the erratic behaviours of our troubles wives.
God, it's a hell of a task just trying to stabilze myself.

Litigation never seems to be a very enjoyable way to occupy one's time, to say the least.

Trivia:
Did you know that when lawyers die they are burried 6 feet deeper than everyone else?

You wanna know why?

... cause 'deep down' they are good people.
Only a bit of humour of course.

You know, I shouldn't really joke about that though, due to both the serious nature of your situation and the fact that my youngest son has just finished taking his LSAT in university.
(law school admittance test) in case you weren't sure what the acronym stood for.
Although he has a pretty good sense of humour & I'm sure wouldn't take much offense to it.

But seriously though, having heard your sage advice & relpies to my lamentings in earlier posts, I'm sure that you must know inside that eventually the sadness you now feel will eventually transform into further enlightenment & serenity in your future.

Meanwhile, I realize that it's no cup of tea, EH? (as we say in Canada)

Talk soon, I hope!

..Crg

June 25, 2008
3:40 am
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WizardofAus
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Thanks Craig.

Yep you gotta keep your sense of humour. And at the end of the day, you don't die of this stuff, do you.

My 23 yo son hit me with a joke the other night.

He says that God spoke to him in a dream and said, "just tell me what you want I will provide it."

So my son says, " I'd like to go to America."

"No worries, here is an air ticket."

"Sorry, I get air sick."

"Ok, here is a luxury cruise ticket."

"Sorry, I get sea sick too. I want to drive across the Pacific."

God gives up, "No that is just impossible, ask me for something else."

My son thinks for a while, "I know can you help my dad to understand his ex's behaviour."

God is silent for a while...."Ok, do you prefer to drive on a two lane or a four lane highway."

Thanks for your support.

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