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stresser!!
February 24, 2005
3:50 am
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orangeboy
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oh why oh why am i such a stresser? i've literally made myself sick, permanently this time, because i can't stop stressing out. can anyone else relate?

February 24, 2005
3:52 am
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orangeboy
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i just can't seem to deal when things in my life are going okay. i'm not used to it, and i know that it usually doesn't last long, so i'm constantly on edge waiting for disaster to strike yet again. how do i overcome this? i have such a hard time trusting anyone and everyone 'cos i've gotten screwed repeatedly, but then today i got to thinking that maybe i have created some of that as a reality since i expect it always...

February 24, 2005
3:55 am
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workinonit
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I hear you orange boy, I do the same thing but sometimes i wonder if it's because i don't give myself a chance to trust me! You know, be content with my own company and have faith in myself.

I'm a bit older than you and it makes it even worse.

February 24, 2005
4:03 am
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orangeboy
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i wouldn't be so sure about that one, the older makes it worse business. but i'll give you the benefit of the doubt. so how do you deal with it? have you found anything that works?

February 24, 2005
4:08 am
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orangeboy
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i read recently that sometimes people who have come through a life time of trauma will create drama where there isn't any just so that they can feel comfortable and safe, they/we are more at home in chaos than in tranquility. so how do we feel comfortable in peaceful times?

February 24, 2005
4:09 am
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workinonit
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I suppose this is true to some extent but, if the life time is mostly false and drama was predominant how do you change? There isn't much to compare.

February 24, 2005
4:10 am
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workinonit
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I work hard at stating constantly busy. But, the downside is I forget how to relax. When I do find time alone, sometimes i run to the nearest excitement! Not always good1

February 24, 2005
4:11 am
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orangeboy
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i'm not sure i understand...

February 24, 2005
4:14 am
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workinonit
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Sure you could, if I could spell!!

I meant, I work hard at staying busy. But, I get so busy i forget how to relax. Does this make sense?

I also think it's a woman thing. I don't know many women who sit and watch tv or play video games. I think it's time I started

February 24, 2005
4:15 am
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orangeboy
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i tend to get caught up in what's stressful about my life. as soon as some big whirlwind comes along i feel as though i've always been there and i feel sorry for myself and wonder when everything will finally just cut me a break. there's always something wrong or stressful or dramatic. or when there's not, i will create a reason to process with somebody about something-usually my relationship. even if things are going incredibly well, i seem to bring up something that we need to "talk about".

February 24, 2005
4:16 am
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workinonit
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I wonder if you are confused by my first post of the last two? My life growing up was stressful. I wasn't abused but my father was an alcoholic, and at age 16 he came out of the closet, so by 19 I married the wrong guy.

Drama drama drama.

February 24, 2005
4:18 am
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orangeboy
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i'm not sure how much it's an age or a gender thing. i mean i'm a twenty-five year old guy who's doctors say has the amount of aches and pains and stress you'd expect to see in someone in their seventies. i also have fibromyalgia, which people tend to call a woman's disease, though there are many men who have it.

February 24, 2005
4:19 am
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workinonit
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Have you ever tried talking about the other person then? Or, just listen.

What you desribe is true of many people and i waas more like this before. Before what I'm not sure, I only know I feel better about this habit now. It is usually if i feel insecure and I don't feel that as much now.

February 24, 2005
4:21 am
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workinonit
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Another thing you might try is meditation. Are you at all spiritual? Not that you have to be to meditate but it helps.

I am 46 and have the appearance and agility of someone in their early 30's. I tend to think very positively(normally) but now and then i fall into melancholy thoughts.

This board really helps.

February 24, 2005
4:21 am
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orangeboy
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i was confused by this post:

I suppose this is true to some extent but, if the life time is mostly false and drama was predominant how do you change? There isn't much to compare.

yeah, that's the thing, tonight my girl teased me that i process so much she should call me cuisinart!

February 24, 2005
4:25 am
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workinonit
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Are you still confused by that? I guess my point is, to know good you have to know bad right? Something to compare to, so to know drama you hjave to know peace. If drama was all I knew then I wouldn't know how to be peaceful. Get it?

Ok now whos processing so much she could be a cuisinart!!!LOL

February 24, 2005
4:28 am
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orangeboy
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Another thing you might try is meditation. Are you at all spiritual? Not that you have to be to meditate but it helps.

I am 46 and have the appearance and agility of someone in their early 30's. I tend to think very positively(normally) but now and then i fall into melancholy thoughts.

This board really helps.

it may get annoying, but i'm gonna start putting up what i'm responding to so it's less confusing. i am spiritual, trying to get back in touch with my higher power after many years of ostracism. i grew up mormon and was severely damaged by that. perhaps i should learn to meditate. i've been learning how to breathe deeply and it really really helps, if only i could remember to do it when i need it the most...yeah, i love this board. i also tend to think positively, until i get depressed, then i sink. like the titanic. but that's only true in some areas of my life i guess. i just started a new internship that i'm very excited about until i realized that i'm anxious that i'm going to someday have a conflict with them as i have at so many jobs in the past. every time i hear a siren i expect it to be for someone i know, when things go okay for more than a week i expect the next phone call to be bad news, i can't sleep sometimes 'cos i;m worried that i forgot to do something that's gonna mess everything up...

February 24, 2005
4:31 am
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orangeboy
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Are you still confused by that? I guess my point is, to know good you have to know bad right? Something to compare to, so to know drama you hjave to know peace. If drama was all I knew then I wouldn't know how to be peaceful. Get it?

Ok now whos processing so much she could be a cuisinart!!!LOL
no that makes perfect sense. dang, if that makes you a cuisinart, i must be the osterizer factory!!! lol.

February 24, 2005
4:33 am
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orangeboy
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what kinds of things do you stress about?

February 24, 2005
4:35 am
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orangeboy
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i love these boards too, by the way. i find them even more helpful than coda or therapy, but i haven't given up on those yet either. how do you go about meditation?

February 24, 2005
4:38 am
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workinonit
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it may get annoying, but i'm gonna start putting up what i'm responding to so it's less confusing. i am spiritual, trying to get back in touch with my higher power after many years of ostracism.

Ok Touch'

Mormon huh? This must have been a different upbringing. I can hear you saying "you're not kidding"

I grew up catholic. Now if I go to a church it is an interfaith church. You and i would be no big shakes there. Everything is celebrated and meditation is normal.

Deep breathing is the start of meditating. I used to imagine myself surrounded by color. Maybe white light for healing or what ever I felt at the time. I would imagine what I wanted to imagine and it was very healthy. I'm glad we're discussing this, I need to get back into the practice.

What are you interning for? Is it medical? Meditating would also help you notice the small things aropund you more. I used to keep an appreciation journal too. You know, write down 5 things about each day I enjoyed or appreciated. Sometimes it was a sunset or flowers but other times it was just going to bed at night. But, as time went on, I noticed more of life's goodness too.

February 24, 2005
4:42 am
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workinonit
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I stress over my kids, my school work,(I'm going for my degree in Marketing) my job, money, oh, maybe I should list what I don't stress about!

One of my favorite meditations was specific. I had read you could meditate for creativity. Well, I had started a song that I really liked but the rest wouldn't come out of me. So I tried this technique,(basically a mindset while meditating) and sure enough, I finished the song right after!! Mind over matter? Maybe but I guess that's the point.

February 24, 2005
4:49 am
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workinonit
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hey ob, I am going to hit the hay for a few hours. I hope to talk with you again! I'd like to hear more.

February 24, 2005
4:57 am
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orangeboy
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wow, all that meditation stuff sounds cool. i guess that's part of what i do, only to relax myself i imagine my favorite fantasies with my girl, not sexual, just like being on a beach and reading each other stories, stuff like that. or i imagine what our house would be like...the appreciation journal sounds great. maybe i should try that. these days i'm focusing so much on healing though, i'm more listing the things that i'm hurting from. it'd probably be a good balancing act. even still though, i feel like aside from my relationship drama i am finally doing exactly what i want to be doing, and i have faith that the creator is laying things out for me exactly as they should be. i would like to go to my church more, i'm american indian so since i live a far way away from my tribe, i have to try and find other tribes' spiritual practices that i can join in. i just moved here and since there's so much co-optation by new age non native people, it can be really difficult for us native folks to find each other and our own spiritual practices. too bad. naw my internship is at a non-profit that i'm really excited about. they're taking me out to lunch tomorrow 'cos they like me. 🙂

February 24, 2005
5:05 am
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orangeboy
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ok goodnight workingonit! i'll probably be back tomorrow. sweet dreams. orangeboy.

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