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Still Single....
April 23, 2007
8:32 pm
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ianandris
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September 29, 2010
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*sigh* I'm going on my tenth year since my last and only girlfriend. And I'm only 24. I'm so starved for emotional intimacy, that I tend to destroy situations that have potential before they have a chance to develop. Its painful and frustrating, not to mention a real hit to my self esteem. I'm supposed to feel good about myself, but in ten years there hasn't been a girl out there who wants to be around me with any sort of exclusivity. I really feel unwanted...

The ability to express appropriate levels of affection doesn't come easy to me anymore. Situations where there are 'sparks', are so alien to me that they are frightening, now.
I just don't know what to change..

What's wrong with me? I mean, you tell me. This is who I am:
http://www.myspace.com/ansbeezie

April 23, 2007
8:51 pm
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fantas
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Ianandris, What happened with your last girlfriend? Have you tried to date anyone or ask anyone out? what happened?

April 23, 2007
9:09 pm
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Robert123
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September 24, 2010
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ian,...ummm are you sure you want to give out(myspace)info like that? Also, isn't this slightly against the rules? Be careful ian.

April 23, 2007
9:13 pm
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ianandris
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I was 15, and it was a long distance thing that just.. ended. I got bored in the relationship and, being 15, I decided it was over. Since then, I've dated sporadically, but I'm debilitatingly shy and bashful when I know that a girl has interest in me. The thing is, rather than acting like a complete goober, goofball, whatever, I turn off. I get standoffish, cold, and unresponsive.

The girls I'm interested in also tend to be more successful than I am, so, being male, having been raised with the idea that the man is the provider, being around the girls I'm attracted to tends to magnify my shortcomings, making me even more self conscious. Traditional gender roles are kicking my ass.

April 23, 2007
9:17 pm
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ianandris
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My myspace account is open to the public. I don't think I published my email on the page, and after reading the rules, I figured it might be okay to post it since email was the only thing explicitly mentioned, but I guess it could be construed as a violation. I was debating whether to leave it in or not, and I ended up just posting it. If it should be taken down, I have no qualms about its removal.

April 23, 2007
9:31 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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September 27, 2010
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I have had ten year dry spells in my past...it doesn't mean much. go out and do what you like to do and add some things you've never done before. If I hadn't been in charge of that picnic I never would have met my friend L. and then she would have never dragged me to that dance in Atlanta where I met this guy who followed me around all night whom I married a year later. I mean weird things happen when you step out of your comfort zone.

April 23, 2007
9:38 pm
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ianandris
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sound advice, tiger. That's the kind of thing I'm hoping for, I guess. I need to learn how to function outside my comfort zone. None of this floundering insecurity.

April 23, 2007
10:10 pm
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fantas
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Ian... consider taking self esteem and self assertative courses. They really helped me. Hypnotherapy might be good for this sort of thing. The old tradition stuff will be a huge block for you in this day and age.

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